Anonymous wrote:My dad had to travel for work when I was a kid, and I have tons of memories of my mom and I tagging along. I know plenty of people today that do the same thing with their spouses. So all those suggesting that business travel should never include a spouse are I think a little off base.

That's not to say that traveling for work as a nanny and trying to bring a spouse isn't a bit more complicated, but I don't think it needs to be dismissed outright. Has your nanny family met your DH? Comfortable with him around the kids? etc. If you're willing to pay for separate accommodations I think that will probably make it much more appealing for MB/DB. Also think abut what your plan would be for him while you're working. Would he be hanging out with you and the kids, or off doing his own thing? His coming along could be a bonus on the plane though. Assuming he was willing, he could be an extra pair of hands to help with the kids on the flight, as well as help keep you calm.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, every time I have traveled with my employers it has been horrible. Very little time to myself, horrible sleeping arrangements, and the flight was hell. How old are the kids? A flight to Hawaii is crazy long and if the parents are expecting you to take care of them during the flight it will be your worst nightmare. If I were you I would do whatever I could to get out of it especially if you want to keep your relationship with your nanny family good. 10-12 days would suck.

Anonymous wrote:This conversation is very interesting, as we're considering inviting our nanny to join us in Hawaii in the spring. We will be there for a family wedding, along with our in laws, and we all want to spend time with the kids, so I worry there will not be enough "work" for our nanny to do. On the other hand, we will all be attending wedding events and will be out late in the evening and I'd rather have our nanny watch the kids than rely on the hotel babysitting service. I'm also considering offering to take her 15 year old daughter as well, although maybe I'd offer to pay for the daughter's flight instead of paying her salary for the week (the flight would be more than her salary, anyway). The difference between a daughter and a husband is that her daughter has helped babysit our kids in th past and is very good with them. I would expect or want my nanny's husband to take care of my kids.

In my situation, I'm concerned that we'll be spending a lot of money for our nanny to join us and yet we won't really need her to nanny all that much. I would consider it more of a gift to bring her on a really nice vacation. But would a nanny not really see a vacation as a benefit, but a burden?

Anonymous wrote:This conversation is very interesting, as we're considering inviting our nanny to join us in Hawaii in the spring. We will be there for a family wedding, along with our in laws, and we all want to spend time with the kids, so I worry there will not be enough "work" for our nanny to do. On the other hand, we will all be attending wedding events and will be out late in the evening and I'd rather have our nanny watch the kids than rely on the hotel babysitting service. I'm also considering offering to take her 15 year old daughter as well, although maybe I'd offer to pay for the daughter's flight instead of paying her salary for the week (the flight would be more than her salary, anyway). The difference between a daughter and a husband is that her daughter has helped babysit our kids in th past and is very good with them. I would expect or want my nanny's husband to take care of my kids.

In my situation, I'm concerned that we'll be spending a lot of money for our nanny to join us and yet we won't really need her to nanny all that much. I would consider it more of a gift to bring her on a really nice vacation. But would a nanny not really see a vacation as a benefit, but a burden?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad had to travel for work when I was a kid, and I have tons of memories of my mom and I tagging along. I know plenty of people today that do the same thing with their spouses. So all those suggesting that business travel should never include a spouse are I think a little off base.

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That's nice that your dad worked in an industry where it was appropriate for you and your mom to tag along. That is not the case with travel for all industries. My husband was an active duty Marine for 23 years. He often had to travel for work (for much longer than 12 days), and we (my kids and I) did not tag along. It was not appropriate for the type of work he was doing. Same with the type of work OP is doing.

Huh? Also active duty spouse here and have tagged along. I'm a frequent traveler anyway and made my own arrangements and basically saw DH in the evenings for dinner. I've visited him during deployments - obviously not combat ones - before. Nothing inappropriate about it. It's not like the military can stop me from traveling wherever I feel like, that's kind of a bizarre thought process.

OP, if your husband pays his own airfare and hotel room and knows he'll be without you most of the time, it's fine for him to come. But he would have to see it as a vacation by himself where he would just maybe run into his wife a few times. I would not make ANY plans with him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad had to travel for work when I was a kid, and I have tons of memories of my mom and I tagging along. I know plenty of people today that do the same thing with their spouses. So all those suggesting that business travel should never include a spouse are I think a little off base.

.

That's nice that your dad worked in an industry where it was appropriate for you and your mom to tag along. That is not the case with travel for all industries. My husband was an active duty Marine for 23 years. He often had to travel for work (for much longer than 12 days), and we (my kids and I) did not tag along. It was not appropriate for the type of work he was doing. Same with the type of work OP is doing.