Just say your sorry. Don't ask any questions. If she divulges any information, don't ask follow-up questions. Try to leave as soon as they get home.

I would add, help out a tiny bit more in the next two-four weeks. She will be very tired. She may also be depressed. Be able to take the kids out more or less, if she wants to be close to them. It will pass. But as someone who has had a miscarriage when I didn't know I was pregnant, there was definitely a phase of "what its" and the loss of a child ( boy or girl, blond or brunette, etc) was very real.

I would add, help out a tiny bit more in the next two-four weeks. She will be very tired. She may also be depressed. Be able to take the kids out more or less, if she wants to be close to them. It will pass. But as someone who has had a miscarriage when I didn't know I was pregnant, there was definitely a phase of "what its" and the loss of a child ( boy or girl, blond or brunette, etc) was very real.

Anonymous wrote:My MB had a miscarriage today. She didn't know she was pregnant and it was super early, but it's still just awful.
She and DB have been at the hospital all day and I have cleaned the house and arranged delivery from their favorite restaurant for dinner.
Should I say something to her or just leave it?
I've never been in this situation and want to do the right thing.
Condolences or no?

As a MB with recurrent miscarriage, what you did is perfect. Really kind of you.

Anonymous wrote:She didn't even know she was pregnant. No need for all the drama. You have gone miles above the call of duty. Nothing more is needed.

I totally agree. Most woman will have at least 1 miscarriage in their lifetime. Depending on the drama level of the woman most just brush it off like another day especially if they didn't even know they were pregnant. I've had a miscarriage and most of my friends have. I usually say to them oh no that's awful, end of story.
Now if she had been 6 months pregnant at the time that is another story.

She didn't even know she was pregnant. No need for all the drama. You have gone miles above the call of duty. Nothing more is needed.

You are so sweet OP. I would not say anything more about the miscarriage. Most people will turn down offers to help or do anything extra so if you think of something else to be helpful I would just do it, within reason of course.

This is OP. I don't live in DC and my MB doesn't read DCUM.
I certainly wasn't trying to breach her privacy.
I have a great relationship with my NF and am trying to be a decent human being.
I'm not surprised that some of you are against doing anything. You can't please everyone.
Good day.

Anonymous wrote:Pp I'm a mb and she gave enough details that if it was me I would know

I'm also an MB and why would that upset you? No one else would be able to know it's you, so she's not making your info public (I.e if your friend read this, she wouldn't know it was you unless you told her the details too). And OP isn't complaining, she's being very nice and asking what MoRE she can do.

As an MB, I think OP sounds very sweet

Pp I'm a mb and she gave enough details that if it was me I would know