Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you asking her to come to the hospital to spend time with you? That's odd. Do you not have family or friends who can stay with you?

OP didn't say she asked her to come and stay with her at the hospital. She said if the nanny was there and OP went to get lunch should she get it for the nanny too. So maybe the nanny actually cares about her charge and when he/she was in the hospital she wanted to visit.

Read the OP again. She clearly says nanny stays with HER for some hours, not the charge

She said "when my child is in the hospital" and the nanny stays with me. Presumably she meant the nanny stays with her WHILE she is with her child, therefore the nanny is visiting the child. Do you seriously need to argue about semantics? Maybe she meant the nanny is visiting her but don't you think the more likely scenario is that the nanny is visiting the child? Or do you just like to pick on people's words to twist what they meant to say?

First of all, I think it might be time to tell your nanny to stop bringing her daughter to work with her if this is something that happens frequently. Her daughter needs to be in school, and if she's too depressed to go to school I don't see how she is perfectly fine to be out and about interacting with kids.

When your nanny does bring her daughter I think it is ridiculous to pay for her daughter's food. I think you should always offer to pay for lunches out for your nanny (within reason), but she should be paying for her own kid's meal. I would start asking for receipts, and offer to reimburse her for money spent on herself and your kids, but not her daughter.

I always tell my nanny to use the "entertainment money" for lunch for kids and herself on outings, but I don't think she does it. She is very frugal, and most of the time packs lunches for everyone. Now, she does bring her teenage daughter on the outings (like the zoo), but very rarely. I actually encourage it as it makes her life easier, but I don't think the daughter likes it. I told the nanny to spend money on her daughter as well (her daughter does help with the kids, kind of unpaid, so I actually feel bad about it), but the nanny thanked me, but did not take any money. I think if 16 y.o. is helping and interacting with the kids than paying for daughter's lunch/entertainment is reasonable if you think your kids benefit from that interaction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you asking her to come to the hospital to spend time with you? That's odd. Do you not have family or friends who can stay with you?

OP didn't say she asked her to come and stay with her at the hospital. She said if the nanny was there and OP went to get lunch should she get it for the nanny too. So maybe the nanny actually cares about her charge and when he/she was in the hospital she wanted to visit.

Read the OP again. She clearly says nanny stays with HER for some hours, not the charge

Anonymous wrote:Why are you asking her to come to the hospital to spend time with you? That's odd. Do you not have family or friends who can stay with you?

OP didn't say she asked her to come and stay with her at the hospital. She said if the nanny was there and OP went to get lunch should she get it for the nanny too. So maybe the nanny actually cares about her charge and when he/she was in the hospital she wanted to visit.