Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you being burned? Sounds like she has given you 2 years of fabulous service and flexibility in exchange for good pay and flexibility on your end. She is giving you 4 weeks of notice, which is extremely generous and is being flexible, at that. You should be thanking your lucky stars.

OP here. Not sure where you got the "fabulous service and flexibility". She is getting paid to do school work and NOT work...a lot. Hence, my feelings of getting burned b/c she is taking a new nanny job when she had indicated she'd be with us for another year until youngest gets to school.

I think that expecting someone to commit to three years of hourly work in a job with no prospects for advancement is rather unrealistic. She might very well have planned to stay on the full three years when she accepted, but life happens and things change. Wish her well and move on. Just like your life and family are your greatest priority, hers are hers.

As a side note, if the studying was truly the issue, it should have been broached well before the two year mark. That's one you'll just have to learn from.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So disgusted with these entitled mom bosses. You can't win with them. And the reason is this: they think their nannies should feel completely honored to care for their brats. They can't wrap their mind around that their nannies are people too and deserve respect.
Disgusting.

So disgusted with posters who keep digging up old posts to stir up trouble.

Ditto! (though I think it's really just the same couple of people - not a bunch, but it's still totally ridiculous.)

Anonymous wrote:So disgusted with these entitled mom bosses. You can't win with them. And the reason is this: they think their nannies should feel completely honored to care for their brats. They can't wrap their mind around that their nannies are people too and deserve respect.
Disgusting.

So disgusted with posters who keep digging up old posts to stir up trouble.

So disgusted with these entitled mom bosses. You can't win with them. And the reason is this: they think their nannies should feel completely honored to care for their brats. They can't wrap their mind around that their nannies are people too and deserve respect.
Disgusting.

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Okay - fair enough. I can understand why posters are jumping all over me.

The getting burned thing is definitely an emotional response. But - hey - it is a personal relationship and she is leaving to go to another family. I just felt like she could have at least talked to us about what was going on first. We paid a lot of extra $$$ and bonuses to her b/c we all had the expectations that she'd be around for another year.

And 4 weeks notice is in her contract.

Well that was your big mistake right there. You give a bonus for the work that's been done already. Not for the work you expect to have done in the future.

It stinks when people don't follow through on a commitment. I get that. I was hired by a family last Sept who asked me for a two to two and a half year commitment. Guess what, they're moving in a month so here I am job searching again. It's disappointing since I turned down other potential opportunities a few weeks ago because I felt loyalty to this employer and the commitment I made. I genuinely like this family, and it's not like they're moving for a job. They don't even have jobs lined up, they just wanted to move. It's hard but life is always changing. Sometimes other people's happiness results in our personal unhappiness (at least temporarily.) No advice, just empathy. Good luck.

MB here. I bent over backward for our first nanny: never docked her pay or made her use PTO when she was 1+ hours late, or took a sick day, held her job for her through two lengthy vacations (including most of a summer), gave her extra PTO days when her father got ill. We also gave her a huge Christmas bonus despite the 3 months of vacation she had taken during the year.

She was a recent college grad nannying for a year or two until she decided what to do with her life. Well, she decided, about a week after taking all of her PTO for the second year (which we gave her at the start of the year).

I learned a big lesson, which you are now learning, too. Don't offer more than you feel comfortable with. The nanny's life expectations will trump any extra benefits of a particular job. Also, hire someone who wants to be a nanny and actually needs the job. You will feel so much better working with a grown-up.

Anonymous wrote:OP, the reality is that as good as you feel you have been towards her, something made her decide to look for and take another job. If she had a sweet deal with all kinds of 'free' money that she didn't have to work for, and she could study and you were great employers - she wouldn't have been looking for a new job. She would have stayed the extra year. She moved to a new family - either she is getting away from something she didn't like about working for you or the opportunity there was even better than what you offer her. It sounds like a disconnect between how you feel you treated her and how she feels she was treated.

Either way, you didn't get burned.

This.

OP, if your position was really that great and she was truly getting paid for like you stated "doing practically nothing," I highly doubt she would be leaving this great job and moving on to another one.

I would be interested in hearing her side of the story. Why would you pay a nanny to do nothing??! I don't get it. There has to be more to this story than you are letting on.

Regardless that is water under the bridge now.

I think your nanny has a right to change her mind. Sure, she said she would stay another year, but people change + evolve in life, and I am sure she is not any different than anyone else. How many other jobs out there expect someone to make annual commitments?? I think it is noble she honored hers by giving you a four-week notice which is more than enough time for you to find her replacement.

Instead of being bitter and resentful, try changing your perspective and be grateful for the two years she gave your family.

Try reading some horror nanny stories online and you will realize you are truly one of the lucky ones.

Why the hell do parents feel so entitled? So often they want to believe they were offering such a great deal for the nanny.

In reality, your "deal" isn't great at all. Shock! Step it up, or at least ASK her if she's happy with you.

If you'd like to try another nanny, I am interested

Your nanny dumped you. I'm sorry you are feeling so upset. Perhaps it is the fact that this nanny wasn't all that great and you still planned to keep her that is most upsetting to you now? I know that a search for a new nanny isn't any fun, but odds are you might be able to find a better fit, like a nanny who doesn't ignore your kids to do her homework!

Write up a job description with specifics about hours and pay and any need for flexibility. Offer pay on the lower end of your scale and see what sort of applicants you get. If they aren't satisfactory, notch the pay up and see if the quality improves.

Make sure you set up some ground rules, like your kids are her job, and that you touch base with the new nanny occasionally to be sure all parties are satisfied.

Do NOT expect to get a nanny who is willing to set aside time for you without pay, as one PP suggested. Nannies will run away from situations like that, because we benefit not in the slightest by saving our time for you for no compensation. The only way I would accept a job where I was "on-call" without being paid was if I had 40 hours guaranteed at an outrageously high hourly rate, which would compensate me for being "on-call" to stay late/start early.

OP, the reality is that as good as you feel you have been towards her, something made her decide to look for and take another job. If she had a sweet deal with all kinds of 'free' money that she didn't have to work for, and she could study and you were great employers - she wouldn't have been looking for a new job. She would have stayed the extra year. She moved to a new family - either she is getting away from something she didn't like about working for you or the opportunity there was even better than what you offer her. It sounds like a disconnect between how you feel you treated her and how she feels she was treated.

Either way, you didn't get burned.

I am the MB from above and I truly think you just need to let it go. For whatever reason she has decided to move on and she has given you plenty of time to find alternative care. That is more than fair.

All that said, we went to a morning and afternoon babysitter when our youngest went to school fulltime and it was a disaster! What we saved in money was more than offset with lost vacation days and last minute scrambling to find care. After a year w/ college students we are going to hire a fulltime nanny/housekeeper to keep our sanity. We realized we need a professional and not someone who is a nanny to earn money for college.