Anonymous
Post 07/08/2014 16:34     Subject: Au Pair Hotline Help Number
Anonymous wrote:Our current AP's "best friend" AP (she met her at a cluster meeting and now they are inseparable) is with a HF that has had 10 au pairs in the last 5 years. I was shocked by this. (Also, sidenote if this BFF AP was our AP, I would rematch. I don't like her. But I don't say anything to our AP because they are friends and it's not like the BFF AP ever watches my kids.)

I've never met the other HF but how the hell do you go through so many au pairs in such a short period? At some point, you have to realize that the AP isn't the issue... it has to be you or your kids. Right?

My understanding is that this HF is fairly wealthy and AP has a vehicle and all the trappings that she "should" and would expect in such an environment. I haven't dug deeper but it does beg some questions.

This IS shocking. You have to wonder how many of the 10 got sent home as failures? While the rich American family continues to switch au pairs like dirty socks.

These au pair agencies need to get some oversight.

The au pairs get sent home before they're allowed to speak with reporters and journalists who can tell their stories.
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2014 08:54     Subject: Au Pair Hotline Help Number
Our current AP's "best friend" AP (she met her at a cluster meeting and now they are inseparable) is with a HF that has had 10 au pairs in the last 5 years. I was shocked by this. (Also, sidenote if this BFF AP was our AP, I would rematch. I don't like her. But I don't say anything to our AP because they are friends and it's not like the BFF AP ever watches my kids.)

I've never met the other HF but how the hell do you go through so many au pairs in such a short period? At some point, you have to realize that the AP isn't the issue... it has to be you or your kids. Right?

My understanding is that this HF is fairly wealthy and AP has a vehicle and all the trappings that she "should" and would expect in such an environment. I haven't dug deeper but it does beg some questions.
Anonymous
Post 07/07/2014 22:57     Subject: Re:Au Pair Hotline Help Number
Anonymous wrote:I totally don't buy this "good fit" concept. Either the HF is a nightmare or the AP. HF may skate for years without being called on it.

And APs may want to rematch because they think they may find an easier family with less hours, older kids, Etc.


I know other disagree.

For example we have heard numerous times on this forum that some HFs don't want the AP around and the AP wants a family that does. Unacceptable for the HF.

Exactly. I think we're being fed a bunch of lies by these con artist cultural exchange programs. Just my opinion.
Anonymous
Post 07/07/2014 22:48     Subject: Re:Au Pair Hotline Help Number
I totally don't buy this "good fit" concept. Either the HF is a nightmare or the AP. HF may skate for years without being called on it.

And APs may want to rematch because they think they may find an easier family with less hours, older kids, Etc.


I know other disagree.

For example we have heard numerous times on this forum that some HFs don't want the AP around and the AP wants a family that does. Unacceptable for the HF.
Anonymous
Post 07/07/2014 21:09     Subject: Au Pair Hotline Help Number
Which agencies lose money when an AP gets sent home early?
Anonymous
Post 07/07/2014 20:56     Subject: Au Pair Hotline Help Number
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Maybe to you. The agencies don't keep lists. It's mostly up to the local coordinators/program directors to help the families find au pairs. AFAIK, there's no central list, and it's very decentralized. And if you have a poor LCC or lazy one, you might not see all the APs available. "

This isn't true at all. All of the major agencies list their available APs on their websites so all families who are searching can see them. Maybe in the past it was so localized but it's not like this anymore. It is true that if an AP has done a good job and the Lcc does not feel that rematch was her fault, the Lcc can work particularly hard to keep her in the local area so she stays near her friends. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't - there has to be a family available and willing to take any given ap.


Thank you, PP. The poster you corrected seems be "in the know," but is purposefully promoting misinformation.

There is clearly a dark side to this is so-called cultural exchange program. When we have insiders making excuses for bad outcomes, or worse yet, lying about the inner workings of these programs, it appears the writing is on the wall.


I'm the PP you quoted, and actually, I think you misunderstood what I was saying. I was saying that the APs do - usually - have a fair shot to be matched with another family; I was not by any means adding fodder to any conspiracy theory about the "dark inner workings of these programs."

APs in rematch are listed on their agency's website (an exception would be if they are with one of the "exclusive matching" agencies - CCAP, interexchange - in which case their application goes only to one family at a time so if they are being reserved by a family, then others may or may not be able to see them), and their area directors and regional directors do help to match them IF they are considered a good fit for AP'ing. If in their first family, they weren't able to handle the job at all or showed a serious lack of judgment, then it may - may - be a different story. But APs usually are given a second chance, unless something has massively gone wrong (there are safety issues or something really egregious). I have been told - though I can't verify this - that the agencies lose money on APs who go home after one match (the agency has to pay their way home if there was not a match available to the AP), so it is in the agency's financial interest to match an AP with a second family. In fact, when you start digging, one of the bigger scandals people sometimes point to in AP-world is how many sub-par APs actually get recycled back to other unsuspecting families through rematch, rather than being sent on their way, because the agencies don't want to pay airfares home.

ANyway, clearly there are bad HFs and bad APs, but usually - usually - it's more a case of things being a good fit between HFs and APs, rather than there being something inherently "wrong" or "bad" or "sinister" about anyone. We have hosted for 8 of the past 10 years and have good, excellent, OK, and terrible APs. Most of our APs have been somewhere between OK and excellent, and they have had great years with us, even the OK ones, because we work very hard to make our matches work. On the occasions when we have had terrible fits for us, we have rematched and considered ourselves and the APs both lucky that we could. In two of our rematch cases, the APs in question were not bad people; they were just bad matches for our family (one couldn't drive and the other couldn't chase toddlers). In both cases, these APs rematched with families that they were better suited to: one who did not need a driver and the other who had infants instead of active toddlers. In the two cases of terrible, the APs in question were sent home - in one case, because we were her third failed match, and in the other case, because she was a pathological liar, and the agency was afraid to match her with anyone else.
Anonymous
Post 07/07/2014 16:26     Subject: Au Pair Hotline Help Number
I don't believe most LCC's get paid much at all for their work. So it's mostly a side gig, that's really labor intensive if you actually do all the work. But who has time for that?
Anonymous
Post 07/07/2014 16:19     Subject: Au Pair Hotline Help Number
Um, the system is broken. Apparently.
Anonymous
Post 07/07/2014 16:15     Subject: Au Pair Hotline Help Number
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Maybe to you. The agencies don't keep lists. It's mostly up to the local coordinators/program directors to help the families find au pairs. AFAIK, there's no central list, and it's very decentralized. And if you have a poor LCC or lazy one, you might not see all the APs available. "

This isn't true at all. All of the major agencies list their available APs on their websites so all families who are searching can see them. Maybe in the past it was so localized but it's not like this anymore. It is true that if an AP has done a good job and the Lcc does not feel that rematch was her fault, the Lcc can work particularly hard to keep her in the local area so she stays near her friends. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't - there has to be a family available and willing to take any given ap.


Thank you, PP. The poster you corrected seems be "in the know," but is purposefully promoting misinformation.

There is clearly a dark side to this is so-called cultural exchange program. When we have insiders making excuses for bad outcomes, or worse yet, lying about the inner workings of these programs, it appears the writing is on the wall.


I am the PP.

I am not 'purposefully promoting misinformation' or 'lying about the inner workings'. I am a HM that has been thru it and have several LCC friends that tell me information.

Here's the key information: It may be different agency to agency.

I meant there aren't lists of HFs, vs APs. AND ...the websites don't ALWAYs list all available in-country APs. There is a delay between when an AP goes into rematch and when they show up on the website...and sometimes they don't show up at all. Why do you think that many APs reach out to families on the many FB groups? Or ask for LCC emails? They are trying to promote themselves, because often, the agencies are very decentralized or the large ones are SOOO large, many get missed in the shuffle.

Please don't cast stones.
Anonymous
Post 07/07/2014 16:07     Subject: Au Pair Hotline Help Number
Anonymous wrote:"Maybe to you. The agencies don't keep lists. It's mostly up to the local coordinators/program directors to help the families find au pairs. AFAIK, there's no central list, and it's very decentralized. And if you have a poor LCC or lazy one, you might not see all the APs available. "

This isn't true at all. All of the major agencies list their available APs on their websites so all families who are searching can see them. Maybe in the past it was so localized but it's not like this anymore. It is true that if an AP has done a good job and the Lcc does not feel that rematch was her fault, the Lcc can work particularly hard to keep her in the local area so she stays near her friends. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't - there has to be a family available and willing to take any given ap.


Thank you, PP. The poster you corrected seems be "in the know," but is purposefully promoting misinformation.

There is clearly a dark side to this is so-called cultural exchange program. When we have insiders making excuses for bad outcomes, or worse yet, lying about the inner workings of these programs, it appears the writing is on the wall.
Anonymous
Post 07/07/2014 15:56     Subject: Au Pair Hotline Help Number
"Maybe to you. The agencies don't keep lists. It's mostly up to the local coordinators/program directors to help the families find au pairs. AFAIK, there's no central list, and it's very decentralized. And if you have a poor LCC or lazy one, you might not see all the APs available. "

This isn't true at all. All of the major agencies list their available APs on their websites so all families who are searching can see them. Maybe in the past it was so localized but it's not like this anymore. It is true that if an AP has done a good job and the Lcc does not feel that rematch was her fault, the Lcc can work particularly hard to keep her in the local area so she stays near her friends. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't - there has to be a family available and willing to take any given ap.
Anonymous
Post 07/07/2014 15:54     Subject: Au Pair Hotline Help Number
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why should a poor au pair be afraid to report to her agency an unscrupulous family, and risk being sent home as a failure, if the agency fails to rematch her within their two week time limit? Please explain.




Timing and Supply/Demand.

Even if she was the best au pair and the family is the worst...there's no guarantee that the timing would work to find her a new family.

That makes ZERO sense. Every agency keeps a list of people waiting for au pairs, no?


Maybe to you. The agencies don't keep lists. It's mostly up to the local coordinators/program directors to help the families find au pairs. AFAIK, there's no central list, and it's very decentralized. And if you have a poor LCC or lazy one, you might not see all the APs available.

However, look at this way...let's say there's 20 APs in rematch and 20 families in rematch. Those 20 families could take one of the 20 in rematch APs or they could take one out of country, or they can drop out of the program. It's not GUARANTEED that the AP will find another family.

OK?
There's no financial incentive for the LCC to do a rematch, is there?
Anonymous
Post 07/07/2014 15:40     Subject: Au Pair Hotline Help Number
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why should a poor au pair be afraid to report to her agency an unscrupulous family, and risk being sent home as a failure, if the agency fails to rematch her within their two week time limit? Please explain.




Timing and Supply/Demand.

Even if she was the best au pair and the family is the worst...there's no guarantee that the timing would work to find her a new family.

That makes ZERO sense. Every agency keeps a list of people waiting for au pairs, no?


Maybe to you. The agencies don't keep lists. It's mostly up to the local coordinators/program directors to help the families find au pairs. AFAIK, there's no central list, and it's very decentralized. And if you have a poor LCC or lazy one, you might not see all the APs available.

However, look at this way...let's say there's 20 APs in rematch and 20 families in rematch. Those 20 families could take one of the 20 in rematch APs or they could take one out of country, or they can drop out of the program. It's not GUARANTEED that the AP will find another family.

OK?
Anonymous
Post 07/07/2014 15:09     Subject: Au Pair Hotline Help Number
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why should a poor au pair be afraid to report to her agency an unscrupulous family, and risk being sent home as a failure, if the agency fails to rematch her within their two week time limit? Please explain.




Timing and Supply/Demand.

Even if she was the best au pair and the family is the worst...there's no guarantee that the timing would work to find her a new family.

That makes ZERO sense. Every agency keeps a list of people waiting for au pairs, no?


Let's be clear that not all Au Pairs are in rematch because they were abused by their families. If they were, the family should be kicked out of the program.
I have seen many rematches simply bc the Au Pair was ill-equiped for the job, and perhaps came the USA with different priorities. You are correct, the agency does have records of existing and prospective families, but some families like ours, would rather welcome a new Au Pair from abroad every year.

No, it's not true that abusive parents automatically get kicked out of the program. If you're a woman, you must certainly know that abuse/harassment often boils down to he said, she said. You must admit that, don't you? Moreover, you must admit to the inherent probable consequences of getting labelled as a troublemaker at your workplace or agency.

"Bad timing. You're getting sent home, bad girl. So tell your friends who want to come for a whole year, they had best suck up." Literally.


If you reread my post, I specifically say some families 'should be kicked out of the program'. I fully realize it does not always happen, probably for many reasons. Sometimes it's not so black and white (he says/she says as you mentioned). But I would be surprised if a family who blatently breaks the rules and abuses their AP would be kept in the program. I hope this never happens.

About being labeled a troublemaker... Please consider the other side of the coin. Families live this too. I am friendly with this family that had to switch agencies because their first Au Pair had completely ruined the family's reputation in her interaction with other APs in her cluster (she went into rematch, could not handle the job). When the rematch AP arrived, other APs in the cluster completely poisoned the well and the new AP went into rematch also. Family switched to new agency and succesfully completed the year with a new AP. Reputation goes both ways. It's probably easier for AP to build a new reputation in a new family in another part of the country.

Out of curiosity, would you mind sharing your experience as it relates to the AP program. Everyone else appears to be host parents with direct experience with APs. You seem quite bitter about the program. Were you an AP yourself? What have you lived that makes you feel so strongly that the agencies are unscrupulous and so many host parents are unfair?
Anonymous
Post 07/07/2014 14:22     Subject: Au Pair Hotline Help Number
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why should a poor au pair be afraid to report to her agency an unscrupulous family, and risk being sent home as a failure, if the agency fails to rematch her within their two week time limit? Please explain.




Timing and Supply/Demand.

Even if she was the best au pair and the family is the worst...there's no guarantee that the timing would work to find her a new family.

That makes ZERO sense. Every agency keeps a list of people waiting for au pairs, no?


Let's be clear that not all Au Pairs are in rematch because they were abused by their families. If they were, the family should be kicked out of the program.
I have seen many rematches simply bc the Au Pair was ill-equiped for the job, and perhaps came the USA with different priorities. You are correct, the agency does have records of existing and prospective families, but some families like ours, would rather welcome a new Au Pair from abroad every year.

No, it's not true that abusive parents automatically get kicked out of the program. If you're a woman, you must certainly know that abuse/harassment often boils down to he said, she said. You must admit that, don't you? Moreover, you must admit to the inherent probable consequences of getting labelled as a troublemaker at your workplace or agency.

"Bad timing. You're getting sent home, bad girl. So tell your friends who want to come for a whole year, they had best suck up." Literally.