We have a dedicated au pair car. We just ask that they put a little gas in it when they drive it for personal use. We’ve had several great au pairs. Never been a problem.

We do set limits about how far they can drive the car without asking and we have a car curfew unless prearranged.

Live-in nanny here. One of my (many) perks for being on call 24/7 is use of a vehicle, no limits. I pay for my gas and note mileage because it makes me feel like I’m not taking advantage.

I have a household cc in my name, and I gas up the car .25-.5 mile from my employer’s house, depending on direction. On the back of the receipt, I write the mileage, and it goes in the glove compartment. When I get back, I note the mileage again on the same receipt while filling the tank using my cc, and when I get back to the house, their receipt goes with the rest, while mine goes in my file in my room. I don’t have to note the mileage, but I feel it’s information they should have.

For an AP, it could easily work the same way. They fill up with petty cash or your cc when they leave, noting mileage on the back of the receipt, then they write ending mileage when they top off the tank with their money.

It's easy. Buy a car tracker like Zubie that estimates gas mileage and cost.

Set a weekly limit on car use for local driving only, like 100 miles a week.

Between the perception of being "tracked" and the low mileage limit, APs will go back to being respectful with use.

Oh, and never let the AP keep the car keys. It leads to this entitled perception that it's "their" car. Especially with a shared car, keys need to be returned to a central location (bowl near entryway or whatever system you use).

We have in our handbook that AP is allowed to drive anywhere in Arlington, where we live. She can also drive to Tysons and nearby friends but beyond that she has to check with us. We pay for all the gas.

Our last AP decided she was going to disregard that and take the car wherever she pleased (and then billed us for gas 2x/week) until we reminded her that the car is a privilege not a right and we could take away her ability to drive. There's nothing in the state department rules saying we have to provide a car. To those of you complaining how badly APs are treated...I didn't have a car when I was her age. I walked to the Metro, something she could do as well if she chose.

If she is using the car the most ,and you only use it a little bit, I suggest a 50/50 split on gas. That way there is some semblance of parameters put on gas usage--you are still paying more likely, but there won't be overuse.

OP - plenty of good suggestions here. My concern is that you AP is about to arrive and you didn't include this in the handbook I presume you sent her before matching. I always view that as an important step and part of the "contract" between me and the AP. If you add restrictions now, you may get a little push back since they weren't previously revealed.

Our handbook stipulates we will pay for gas 2x per month for our hybrid, which is all we ever had to do when we drove it. More than 2x is the au pair's responsibility - it has never happened that she has had to fill up. The car has a curfew and cannot be driven on a trip more than 40 miles without permission. When she got in a fender bender, we made her pay for the repairs. We pay for the insurance, which is expensive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gotta love when APs get on here and make a big fuss.

In our situation, we have three vehicles. One for me, one for DH, and one for AP's primary use. That said, AP drives the minivan so sometimes we switch around who is driving what in case we need the bigger vehicle for some reason.

Anyway, we gave AP one of our credit cards (which I know APIA says is a no-no but we didn't see any other way to make sure she always had money for various kid needs) and she uses that to pay for gas in the vehicle as needed. HOWEVER, she puts gas in the vehicle from her personal funds (her debit card tied to her personal bank account or cash) whenever she uses the car for a personal trip. For example, we cover the gas for her cluster meetings, school to/from, etc. But SHE pays for the gas when she drives to visit her BFF AP (who lives in Annapolis which is about 45 minutes). If there is any cloudiness about who pays, then by default we do. But if it is clearly her trip for just her, she pays. She's good about putting gas in to replace what she's used in real time; we don't track her miles or anything like that.

OP here-- Sorry to get so specific, but does that means she gases it up each time she uses it for personal use? And assuming she doesn't always start with a full tank, how much does she put in? TIA!

Not the PP, but we also give CC to AP. For long trips over the weekend (after permission) the rule is simple: fill up the car using family CC right when you leave. Then return the car full... This works pretty much all the time

Also when I was their age I was eating ramen, paying off student loans, not owning a car and taking public transit myself and living pay check to paycheck. I think all is just well. Goodness

And a live in nanny is someone who has received an education and training in the matter. Quite a bit different than the cultural exchange. Week to week, my math shows a nanny is paid less than the au pair. But maybe that all depends on the area. On average, my au pair makes a heck of a lot more given her free room and board, free access to car, car insurance for international under 25 driver, internet, cell phone, water, gas, electric, hmmm lots of bills not considered.

Anonymous wrote:Then go with a live in nanny. You cannot start counting cost of rent and food and utilities. This is a live in program, and if you think it is unfair that your mcmansion room could be rented out for more money, then do so. You most definitely are part of the wrong program.

You cannot isolate your au pair. If you are too far from reasonable public transport, and if au pair cannot safely come home late during nights out, you really should provide a car, or drive to pick up au pair from metro stations.

Who are you talking to?

Then go with a live in nanny. You cannot start counting cost of rent and food and utilities. This is a live in program, and if you think it is unfair that your mcmansion room could be rented out for more money, then do so. You most definitely are part of the wrong program.

You cannot isolate your au pair. If you are too far from reasonable public transport, and if au pair cannot safely come home late during nights out, you really should provide a car, or drive to pick up au pair from metro stations.

Our AP has a dedicated car for her use, both during work hours and professional time. We pay for one tank of gas each month. That's more than enough to cover any and all miles driven for work-related travel. Anything else she needs is on her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gotta love when APs get on here and make a big fuss.

In our situation, we have three vehicles. One for me, one for DH, and one for AP's primary use. That said, AP drives the minivan so sometimes we switch around who is driving what in case we need the bigger vehicle for some reason.

Anyway, we gave AP one of our credit cards (which I know APIA says is a no-no but we didn't see any other way to make sure she always had money for various kid needs) and she uses that to pay for gas in the vehicle as needed. HOWEVER, she puts gas in the vehicle from her personal funds (her debit card tied to her personal bank account or cash) whenever she uses the car for a personal trip. For example, we cover the gas for her cluster meetings, school to/from, etc. But SHE pays for the gas when she drives to visit her BFF AP (who lives in Annapolis which is about 45 minutes). If there is any cloudiness about who pays, then by default we do. But if it is clearly her trip for just her, she pays. She's good about putting gas in to replace what she's used in real time; we don't track her miles or anything like that.

OP here-- Sorry to get so specific, but does that means she gases it up each time she uses it for personal use? And assuming she doesn't always start with a full tank, how much does she put in? TIA!

We're similar to what the PP here says - except that if I know that our au pair will be using the car for a "long" trip (Luray Caverns, Annapolis, etc - we're near Leesburg so a trip to IKEA in Woodbridge might fall into this category too depending on where else they're going) I fill the tank on my way home from work on Friday - even if there was 3/4 tank in there already. Then we ask her to return the car with a full gas tank.

With regard to the credit card - rather than a "regular" credit card I found a student reloadable debit card through my credit union that lets me transfer funds onto it but won't overdraw (and that can't "pull" funds from my account). We've been using that to handle some gas for kid trips as well as for the inevitable stop for Happy Meals or to play at Chick Fil A's playground.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people sure are making out in this situation!
Charging underpaid girls to use your car...CLASSY!

How much do you guess rent would be in the home the au pairs are living? How much would you guess food to be? Cleaning ppl to clean up after everyone? Everything costs money and everything is provided for them. They do not have the responsibilities of the home or maintenance of the home or vehicles. Please don't pretend that they are roughing it. Thanks.

How much do you think an actual live-in nanny costs?
A hell of a lot more than what you pay these 19 year-old girls from other countries.
You are using them for cheap labor.
You pay them a pittance and then expect them to use their meager stipend to pay for car use when the family is supposed to help facilitate a cultural experience or them. You all could give a crap about the cultural exchange part.
Please don't pretend you are actually living up to your end of the agreement. Thanks.

See, when I had a nanny, I didn't pay for her to drive my car. She drove her own. And I didn't cook for her and enjoy her company at dinner each night, and I didn't pay for the cleaning woman to clean her room. I didn't buy her treats at the store and take her to Six Flags and to the beach. I certainly didn't loan her my car to go away for the weekend with friends and I didn't invite her friends to stay with us multiple nights each week so they could go out to bars together. But these are things we do for an au pair and are part of what makes the program special, because she lives with us as a member of our family. I am sorry you seem to think that unlimited and free use of a car is what defines the program, but based on my ten years of experience as a host mom, I don't agree. My au pair puts back the gas he uses in our car because that is what a responsible adult does. I don't ask him where he went or how far he drove or how much gas he used. He just does these things because he knows that this is what being a thoughtful and responsible member of the household entails. If he were to stop doing this, I might begin to resent all that I do for him, but I don't because he does what it takes to be a good member of our household and I do what it takes to make him feel as welcome and as appreciated as possible. It's a win-win. I am sorry you don't really understand the AP program and want to reduce it all to a "meager" (in your word) stipend, but this isn't really what the program entails. No one becomes an AP to get rich in terms of money, but if you only think about the money, you are missing the incredible riches to be gained culturally and personally.