Anonymous
06/26/2014 21:05
Subject: I think my well-paid nanny may be illiterate
Op listen to your gut instinct it's trying to tell you something.
Anonymous
06/26/2014 19:48
Subject: I think my well-paid nanny may be illiterate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I talked to her and she is literate, just intimidated by official paperwork and forms as she didn't have any formal education until she moved here. I talked to her about continuing education and helping her with her reading and writing skills. I'm having such a hard time as she is such a kind and hard working person but I'm not sure if she is the right fit for our dear child.
It's pretty discriminatory to assume an uneducated immigrant can't teach your child.
Do you actually think before you write, pp?
Yes, why? What is your issue.
Anonymous
06/26/2014 19:45
Subject: I think my well-paid nanny may be illiterate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I talked to her and she is literate, just intimidated by official paperwork and forms as she didn't have any formal education until she moved here. I talked to her about continuing education and helping her with her reading and writing skills. I'm having such a hard time as she is such a kind and hard working person but I'm not sure if she is the right fit for our dear child.
It's pretty discriminatory to assume an uneducated immigrant can't teach your child.
Do you actually think before you write, pp?
Anonymous
06/26/2014 19:44
Subject: I think my well-paid nanny may be illiterate
it's pretty discriminatory to assume a native English speaker isn't hard working and kind.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I talked to her and she is literate, just intimidated by official paperwork and forms as she didn't have any formal education until she moved here. I talked to her about continuing education and helping her with her reading and writing skills. I'm having such a hard time as she is such a kind and hard working person but I'm not sure if she is the right fit for our dear child.
It's pretty discriminatory to assume an uneducated immigrant can't teach your child.
Anonymous
06/26/2014 19:32
Subject: I think my well-paid nanny may be illiterate
Anonymous wrote:I talked to her and she is literate, just intimidated by official paperwork and forms as she didn't have any formal education until she moved here. I talked to her about continuing education and helping her with her reading and writing skills. I'm having such a hard time as she is such a kind and hard working person but I'm not sure if she is the right fit for our dear child.
It's pretty discriminatory to assume an uneducated immigrant can't teach your child.
Anonymous
06/26/2014 16:03
Subject: I think my well-paid nanny may be illiterate
I talked to her and she is literate, just intimidated by official paperwork and forms as she didn't have any formal education until she moved here. I talked to her about continuing education and helping her with her reading and writing skills. I'm having such a hard time as she is such a kind and hard working person but I'm not sure if she is the right fit for our dear child.
Anonymous
06/26/2014 15:50
Subject: Re:I think my well-paid nanny may be illiterate
I grew up very poor and missed a significant amount of school due to family instability. I have had to admit all sorts of awkward things to people. If they were kind it was much easier to be honest. I did learn to read but there were other things...
You must ask if she can read and not just kid books because the pediatrician will not give directions at a toddler level. Make sure your sincerity and kindness are clear even if you will have to let her go. Look up some some places that offer reading/writing workshops for English language learners and have that ready to give to her. Tell her that if at some later point she has completed some classes and is out of a job you would be ok with her checking back in to see how your childcare situation is going. Do things to let her know you are not judging her unworthy as a human being, just not yet qualified for the position.
DO NOT say or imply that she is a bad person because of her circumstances. I would not even judge her for applying for your position. Everyone has to eat.
You must ask if she can read and not just kid books because the pediatrician will not give directions at a toddler level. Make sure your sincerity and kindness are clear even if you will have to let her go. Look up some some places that offer reading/writing workshops for English language learners and have that ready to give to her. Tell her that if at some later point she has completed some classes and is out of a job you would be ok with her checking back in to see how your childcare situation is going. Do things to let her know you are not judging her unworthy as a human being, just not yet qualified for the position.
DO NOT say or imply that she is a bad person because of her circumstances. I would not even judge her for applying for your position. Everyone has to eat.
Anonymous
06/26/2014 14:50
Subject: Re:I think my well-paid nanny may be illiterate
OP, when we hired a nanny several years ago, I had a very similar experience (blank forms except for signature, saying that prior employers had helped her fill them out, etc.), and had a terrible sinking feeling - like you, reading is essential to us, and illiteracy would be a dealbreaker. On her first day, when we had agreed I would hang around and take her through our child's routines, I was on the alert.
Then our child chose a book, and she started reading with him in her lap. I felt a flood of relief.
As it turned out, she didn't have a ton of formal education, and wasn't particularly book smart. She didn't like to write and wasn't good at it. She was intimidated by official papers, and used to having others help her do these things. But she could read children's books just fine, and was a fully engaged and loving caregiver. She stayed with us a year, until our son went to preschool.
Without talking with her directly about your concerns, I think observing her reading with your child is the only way to figure it out. Best of luck.
Then our child chose a book, and she started reading with him in her lap. I felt a flood of relief.
As it turned out, she didn't have a ton of formal education, and wasn't particularly book smart. She didn't like to write and wasn't good at it. She was intimidated by official papers, and used to having others help her do these things. But she could read children's books just fine, and was a fully engaged and loving caregiver. She stayed with us a year, until our son went to preschool.
Without talking with her directly about your concerns, I think observing her reading with your child is the only way to figure it out. Best of luck.
Anonymous
06/26/2014 13:26
Subject: I think my well-paid nanny may be illiterate
^^There are also many, many more therapies offered to SN kids, IF you can secure the funding or pay privately, than there was 25 years ago.
Anonymous
06/26/2014 13:24
Subject: I think my well-paid nanny may be illiterate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We found her through another neighborhood family. They were really involved in the hiring process, which my husband and I found odd. At the same time, they were moving out of state and we thought they were just helping her as a friend and "nice people". The other family was really similar to our family with regard to nanny requirements and spent a lot of time on the phone answering my questions about the nanny. They really went above and beyond.
The nanny had a great interview and it is apparent from her references, an extremely hard worker, loving caregiver and fantastic employee.
Reading is really important to me. While I feel compassion for someone who might not had the same education and opportunities, we are paying her a really strong salary given her educational background.
I like to think my husband and I are good people, but we also have an expectation that our nanny could read and write English. Now I am doubting this and me overlooking this while on maternity leave, balancing new motherhood and interviewing candidates. She was the only candidate I really felt had a passion for children and the families she worked for and really spoke highly of her experiences working for the family and the children she cared for as a nanny. Now I am realizing that I might have overlooked literacy and just taken it as a given. Ah!
We had other nanny candidates who were clearly illiterate as they spoke through a teenage child or relative. Because of emergency situations, it is really important to me that the nanny watching my child can read and write basic English and has a love of reading.
I'm almost in tears thinking about this. I don't know what to do. I never thought that this would be the issue I'm confronting. Or that it should have been something I'd forget to ask.
I'm sorry, OP. The truth is that other parents are willing to overlook this deficit. You will find that your standards are not necessarily shared by other parents over the coming years. I've had a parent, with a PhD in Education no less, shrug at having her elementary-aged SN child unbuckled in the front seat since all the other carpool kids were buckled in. I've also seen parents walk away from a pool with a non-water safe child. Anyway, if you require a nanny that is literate (for good reason!), you must pass on this one. There are too many situations that require literacy. Don't lose heart, you will find the right person.
I agree. Don't you wonder why so many rich nannied kids have special needs (with all kinds of therapies)? It wasn't like that 25 years ago, FYI.
There are a lot of kids without nannies that have special needs. The families with a special needs child, who can afford a nanny, have one because there often are many recommended therapies and other children's needs along with employment to juggle. SN children do not have all the options for childcare and extra-curricular activities that other children do. You are seeing a small segment of the population that can afford nannies, not a representative sample.
Anonymous
06/26/2014 13:11
Subject: I think my well-paid nanny may be illiterate
I would call up the local police dept and give them the description of her car including the license plate. She is endangering her children for her own convenience. The other PhD mom I mentioned was in my DS's carpool. I happen to have an SN DD also and would never leave her unbuckled in a car. I refused to let my DS get into the car and drove him to school myself. The next time she was up for carpool, she had found another car to take the kids in that had enough working belts for all. I still shake my head about that. An unrestrained person/item becomes a hazard to everyone in the car in the event of an accident. I'm sure she was aware of that but chose, for whatever reason, to ignore it.
Anonymous
06/26/2014 09:42
Subject: I think my well-paid nanny may be illiterate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We found her through another neighborhood family. They were really involved in the hiring process, which my husband and I found odd. At the same time, they were moving out of state and we thought they were just helping her as a friend and "nice people". The other family was really similar to our family with regard to nanny requirements and spent a lot of time on the phone answering my questions about the nanny. They really went above and beyond.
The nanny had a great interview and it is apparent from her references, an extremely hard worker, loving caregiver and fantastic employee.
Reading is really important to me. While I feel compassion for someone who might not had the same education and opportunities, we are paying her a really strong salary given her educational background.
I like to think my husband and I are good people, but we also have an expectation that our nanny could read and write English. Now I am doubting this and me overlooking this while on maternity leave, balancing new motherhood and interviewing candidates. She was the only candidate I really felt had a passion for children and the families she worked for and really spoke highly of her experiences working for the family and the children she cared for as a nanny. Now I am realizing that I might have overlooked literacy and just taken it as a given. Ah!
We had other nanny candidates who were clearly illiterate as they spoke through a teenage child or relative. Because of emergency situations, it is really important to me that the nanny watching my child can read and write basic English and has a love of reading.
I'm almost in tears thinking about this. I don't know what to do. I never thought that this would be the issue I'm confronting. Or that it should have been something I'd forget to ask.
I'm sorry, OP. The truth is that other parents are willing to overlook this deficit. You will find that your standards are not necessarily shared by other parents over the coming years. I've had a parent, with a PhD in Education no less, shrug at having her elementary-aged SN child unbuckled in the front seat since all the other carpool kids were buckled in. I've also seen parents walk away from a pool with a non-water safe child. Anyway, if you require a nanny that is literate (for good reason!), you must pass on this one. There are too many situations that require literacy. Don't lose heart, you will find the right person.
I also know a mother with a PhD who also doesn't care if her children are properly buckled or in the front seat, one of which being SN. I thought about reporting them, makes me so angry!
Anonymous
06/26/2014 09:35
Subject: I think my well-paid nanny may be illiterate
This is such a shame OP, I can imagine how you are feeling.
I would consider basic literacy a non-negotiable. I don't need someone who writes beautifully or uses complicated/sophisticated language. But I do need someone who can communicate with me and my husband, and with the children. I do need someone who can read medication bottles, maybe even take a child to the doctor if need be and understand directions, someone who can keep track of feeding/sleep/diaper issues for an infant, etc... I prefer someone who can and will use email since sometimes I'm better reached that way.
I also want someone who will read to my child, practice their alphabet, teach them to write their name, read street signs, etc...
It's a non-negotiable for me.
As difficult a decision as this is it will be FAR easier to deal with before she starts then after, and you will never feel comfortable if she actually can't read and write.
I'm sorry. But better to discover this now than a month from now.
I would consider basic literacy a non-negotiable. I don't need someone who writes beautifully or uses complicated/sophisticated language. But I do need someone who can communicate with me and my husband, and with the children. I do need someone who can read medication bottles, maybe even take a child to the doctor if need be and understand directions, someone who can keep track of feeding/sleep/diaper issues for an infant, etc... I prefer someone who can and will use email since sometimes I'm better reached that way.
I also want someone who will read to my child, practice their alphabet, teach them to write their name, read street signs, etc...
It's a non-negotiable for me.
As difficult a decision as this is it will be FAR easier to deal with before she starts then after, and you will never feel comfortable if she actually can't read and write.
I'm sorry. But better to discover this now than a month from now.
Anonymous
06/26/2014 08:17
Subject: I think my well-paid nanny may be illiterate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We found her through another neighborhood family. They were really involved in the hiring process, which my husband and I found odd. At the same time, they were moving out of state and we thought they were just helping her as a friend and "nice people". The other family was really similar to our family with regard to nanny requirements and spent a lot of time on the phone answering my questions about the nanny. They really went above and beyond.
The nanny had a great interview and it is apparent from her references, an extremely hard worker, loving caregiver and fantastic employee.
Reading is really important to me. While I feel compassion for someone who might not had the same education and opportunities, we are paying her a really strong salary given her educational background.
I like to think my husband and I are good people, but we also have an expectation that our nanny could read and write English. Now I am doubting this and me overlooking this while on maternity leave, balancing new motherhood and interviewing candidates. She was the only candidate I really felt had a passion for children and the families she worked for and really spoke highly of her experiences working for the family and the children she cared for as a nanny. Now I am realizing that I might have overlooked literacy and just taken it as a given. Ah!
We had other nanny candidates who were clearly illiterate as they spoke through a teenage child or relative. Because of emergency situations, it is really important to me that the nanny watching my child can read and write basic English and has a love of reading.
I'm almost in tears thinking about this. I don't know what to do. I never thought that this would be the issue I'm confronting. Or that it should have been something I'd forget to ask.
I'm sorry, OP. The truth is that other parents are willing to overlook this deficit. You will find that your standards are not necessarily shared by other parents over the coming years. I've had a parent, with a PhD in Education no less, shrug at having her elementary-aged SN child unbuckled in the front seat since all the other carpool kids were buckled in. I've also seen parents walk away from a pool with a non-water safe child. Anyway, if you require a nanny that is literate (for good reason!), you must pass on this one. There are too many situations that require literacy. Don't lose heart, you will find the right person.
I agree. Don't you wonder why so many rich nannied kids have special needs (with all kinds of therapies)? It wasn't like that 25 years ago, FYI.
Anonymous
06/25/2014 22:46
Subject: I think my well-paid nanny may be illiterate
Maybe she has bad handwriting.