The correct thing to do in this situation is for the MB to tell the nanny that she doesn't need her as many hours. Then if the MB can offer to help the nanny find additional hours with friends/family and the nanny can either accept or refuse her offer.

Anonymous wrote:

nannydebsays wrote:MB, I wanted to talk to you about all the work I have been doing for your friends in the neighborhood. I so appreciate the trust you have in me that makes you comfortable offering my services to your friends. However, I would like a little more control over my schedule. I'd like to suggest that we figure out how many hours a week you will need my services, and that we determine a schedule one month ahead. Then I will know when I am free to work elsewhere. (Of course, I would prefer to have guaranteed number of hours here, and be paid for those hours regardless of your needs.)"

If you want to work, then you can say something about "I am happy to help your neighbors when I am not needed here. However, I want to speak with them directly to set up a schedule surrounding your needs. Naturally, giving me your schedule 1 month in advance will allow me to block out those specific times for you and then supplement with work for the neighbors!"

If you don't want to work , then ask for the hours to be set in advance for her, and choose to find other work when she isn't needing your services.

Of course, you will also have to learn to say, "No, I cannot work for you tomorrow MB. Tomorrow was not listed in your advance schedule, and I am working for the Smith family that day." "No, MB, I cannot watch your kids as well as the Smith kids. I understand you have had a scheduling glitch, but I have committed those hours to the Smith family."


I absolutely get your aggravation. You can make this work if you take control back from your MB. Or you can find another position and give the neighborhood notice. Good luck!

Honestly I don't see the original problem OP has... Let's say she has a 5 day a week schedule with MB, and then suddenly MB has her working for other families for 2 of those days like she says above, what is the problem? She isn't being asked to work more hours or last minute hours or unscheduled hours... She is getting the same pay. I kind of would like something like this to happen to me. A little variety would be a welcome thing.

I mean I can understand if it was like "nanny, the neighbor is having a party Saturday, I know you don't work Saturdays but I've loaned you to her for the day, she will pay you." That's not cool. But as the OP wrote it I really just don't see the problem.

It's a problem because going from family to family, especially to take care of children that you may not know well can be exhausting. Ask any nanny who has done a lot of temp work.

Anonymous wrote:PP you are really putting a lot of effort into being obtuse. Nannying is not a job where you expect to be sent to other sites, unless that was agreed to upon hiring. Nanny was hired to look after a specific family's children.. not the friends and neighbor's of that family. In your ridiculous analogy, the family who hired her is Taco Bell, their family and friends are McDonald's etc.

Nanny is well within her rights and would be smart to say "No."

Got it, hun?

Oh bless your heart,

you really have no idea how nannying works do you? You realize sometimes a nanny leaves the house and takes the kids to the zoo, or park or anywhere else. It's not a stretch to just go to the neighbors and watch their kids.

Hope this helps you understand the concept darling.

PP you are really putting a lot of effort into being obtuse. Nannying is not a job where you expect to be sent to other sites, unless that was agreed to upon hiring. Nanny was hired to look after a specific family's children.. not the friends and neighbor's of that family. In your ridiculous analogy, the family who hired her is Taco Bell, their family and friends are McDonald's etc.

Nanny is well within her rights and would be smart to say "No."

Got it, hun?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I wonder if my daughter, who works at Taco Bell, would like to show up for work each morning wondering if she would instead be sent out to McDonald's or Wendy's to work for the day. Really inappropriate.

News Flash, if your daughter shows up to work and the owner, who let's say owns two other nearby Taco Bells, tells her to go to Store B for the next week at her normal hours and she says no she will be fired.

Fail. Re-read my comment and try again.

Because nannying in nannying which is why I fixed your comment for you. But if you would like to be pointed out as a fool, OP isn't being asked to go to the neighbors house to do housework (Wendy's) or lawnscaping (McDonalds), she is being asked to nanny (Taco Bell).

Got it hun?

Well I give you credit for trying again, but I guess some people just can't do analogies no matter how hard they try.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I wonder if my daughter, who works at Taco Bell, would like to show up for work each morning wondering if she would instead be sent out to McDonald's or Wendy's to work for the day. Really inappropriate.

News Flash, if your daughter shows up to work and the owner, who let's say owns two other nearby Taco Bells, tells her to go to Store B for the next week at her normal hours and she says no she will be fired.

Fail. Re-read my comment and try again.

Because nannying in nannying which is why I fixed your comment for you. But if you would like to be pointed out as a fool, OP isn't being asked to go to the neighbors house to do housework (Wendy's) or lawnscaping (McDonalds), she is being asked to nanny (Taco Bell).

Got it hun?

This is stupid. If she is asked to cashier at McDonald's as Taco Bell employee who cashiers then it would be ok?? Maybe MB should use any nanny OP can get to show up? If she can pay OP then shouldn't she be willing to use any other nanny if OP does not need the work that day?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I wonder if my daughter, who works at Taco Bell, would like to show up for work each morning wondering if she would instead be sent out to McDonald's or Wendy's to work for the day. Really inappropriate.

News Flash, if your daughter shows up to work and the owner, who let's say owns two other nearby Taco Bells, tells her to go to Store B for the next week at her normal hours and she says no she will be fired.

Fail. Re-read my comment and try again.

Because nannying in nannying which is why I fixed your comment for you. But if you would like to be pointed out as a fool, OP isn't being asked to go to the neighbors house to do housework (Wendy's) or lawnscaping (McDonalds), she is being asked to nanny (Taco Bell).

Got it hun?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I wonder if my daughter, who works at Taco Bell, would like to show up for work each morning wondering if she would instead be sent out to McDonald's or Wendy's to work for the day. Really inappropriate.

News Flash, if your daughter shows up to work and the owner, who let's say owns two other nearby Taco Bells, tells her to go to Store B for the next week at her normal hours and she says no she will be fired.

Congratulations. You just proved our point. This is the type of unprofessional and inappropriate behavior that only someone desperate would tolerate . A good nanny can stand up for herself and walk away from a shitty job because she knows she can find a decent one . A shitty nanny will put up with a shitty employer because she has no better options. You just demonstrated both the kind of employer you are and the kind of nanny you wish to attract.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I wonder if my daughter, who works at Taco Bell, would like to show up for work each morning wondering if she would instead be sent out to McDonald's or Wendy's to work for the day. Really inappropriate.

News Flash, if your daughter shows up to work and the owner, who let's say owns two other nearby Taco Bells, tells her to go to Store B for the next week at her normal hours and she says no she will be fired.

Fail. Re-read my comment and try again.

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I wonder if my daughter, who works at Taco Bell, would like to show up for work each morning wondering if she would instead be sent out to McDonald's or Wendy's to work for the day. Really inappropriate.

News Flash, if your daughter shows up to work and the owner, who let's say owns two other nearby Taco Bells, tells her to go to Store B for the next week at her normal hours and she says no she will be fired.

Hmm. I wonder if my daughter, who works at Taco Bell, would like to show up for work each morning wondering if she would instead be sent out to McDonald's or Wendy's to work for the day. Really inappropriate.

There is no other side to this argument. Your MB is DEAD WRONG to even ask you do to this and I would never have put up with it the first time. You agreed to work for THIS family at THESE times caring for THESE child - not strange families that you may not even know or ever would have chosen to work for.

Tell the MB and quit, OP.

Meant to say, "I can't figure out whether you are being intentionally obtuse." You are definitely being obtuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cracking up that someone doesn't get why this is a problem. Every family is different. They are not interchangeable. Working for different families requires different things of a nanny and she may wish to set different expectations/rates accordingly. Furthermore, I am a NANNY because I enjoy building a relationship with my employers and working together for the good of the children, because I am selective in who I work for, and because I want stability in when and how much I am paid and predictability regarding job requirements. If I didn't care about the relationships, wasn't picky about taking jobs and didn't want stability, I would just work as a temp/backup nanny.

Right. A nanny isn't property you loan out.

Because you are looking at it wrong. Of course you shouldn't be hired by someone who misrepresents themselves and uses you as a free agent nanny to make money on the side, but just like in any REAL job if your boss tells you to go to a different store, office, site, client, whatever you go. Truth is MB probably just didn't need a 5 day a week nanny anymore but likes and respects the OP so she doesn't want to lose her by cutting hours. So she found work for her nearby, it's not like she's sending her to West Virginia. Maybe she isn't the most tactful person but it sounds like she has good intentions, OP isn't out of a job, and isn't falling behind on her bills like all the bad nannies in the credit check whining thread.

I still see no problem with this.

I can't figure out whether you are being obtuse. Yes, we all understand that the MB doesn't need a full time nanny and is trying to save money. The correct thing to do in that situation is to TELL the nanny that their needs are changing and that they can only guarantee X number of hours and give the nanny plenty of notice as to which hours they won't need her. They can even offer to fill those empty hours with friends who need child care. But just deciding that they can completely change the nature of the job with no discussion is unacceptable.

As a nanny, my job is exactly what it says in the contract: "Provide excellent care to Larla along with XYZ other duties", not "provide care to whatever children show up and do whatever tasks are asked of me." A decent nanny can get guaranteed hours pretty easily, so most jobs will be a stable amount of pay for consistent duties or a stable amount of pay for no work that day if they decide they don't need care. What this MB wants is for nanny to reserve her time for MB (because she considers that she has dibs), but doesn't want to pay the nanny unless she actually needs her. If she were to discuss with the nanny and come up with this together, then I could see it working (although there is a high risk that the nanny will burn out from having completely different jobs every few days), but to decide that she owns the nanny during those hours and can therefore reassign her without discussion is completely inappropriate.

It is the exact same thing as a family deciding that because they no longer need as much care that their nanny must now clean the bathrooms. A good nanny with her choice of jobs is going to move on quickly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cracking up that someone doesn't get why this is a problem. Every family is different. They are not interchangeable. Working for different families requires different things of a nanny and she may wish to set different expectations/rates accordingly. Furthermore, I am a NANNY because I enjoy building a relationship with my employers and working together for the good of the children, because I am selective in who I work for, and because I want stability in when and how much I am paid and predictability regarding job requirements. If I didn't care about the relationships, wasn't picky about taking jobs and didn't want stability, I would just work as a temp/backup nanny.

Right. A nanny isn't property you loan out.

Because you are looking at it wrong. Of course you shouldn't be hired by someone who misrepresents themselves and uses you as a free agent nanny to make money on the side, but just like in any REAL job if your boss tells you to go to a different store, office, site, client, whatever you go. Truth is MB probably just didn't need a 5 day a week nanny anymore but likes and respects the OP so she doesn't want to lose her by cutting hours. So she found work for her nearby, it's not like she's sending her to West Virginia. Maybe she isn't the most tactful person but it sounds like she has good intentions, OP isn't out of a job, and isn't falling behind on her bills like all the bad nannies in the credit check whining thread.

I still see no problem with this.