Anonymous
06/13/2014 20:19
Subject: I thought I answered the questions decently, was told I "gave the run around" and was "too lectury"
Well, someone else answered the questions better. 
So I'm an MB. What I might want to hear from you is a question back to me:
"Of course, there's no single answer. Different families do these things differently, each kid is different, things change, and so on. Before I answer, do you mind if I ask you what your approach is, or maybe you can tell me if there are any specific situations or concerns you're thinking about? Because I think it's important that we work together, especially since I work for you and you are the parents."
And then if they press you, you might say,
"Well, if I had no guidance to start with, I might do something like this: _____ *and feel free to ask me to elaborate. And then ______ * and feel free to ask me to elaborate. And another thing _____* again, that's just in general. Let me know if I've offered enough information. But again, maybe the best way is to come to an agreement about some general principles and then figuring out the details with the parents, especially once we get to know what the child's own needs are. One thing I can tell you is that I'm pretty good at keeping my cool when the going gets rough!"
So I'm an MB. What I might want to hear from you is a question back to me:
"Of course, there's no single answer. Different families do these things differently, each kid is different, things change, and so on. Before I answer, do you mind if I ask you what your approach is, or maybe you can tell me if there are any specific situations or concerns you're thinking about? Because I think it's important that we work together, especially since I work for you and you are the parents."
And then if they press you, you might say,
"Well, if I had no guidance to start with, I might do something like this: _____ *and feel free to ask me to elaborate. And then ______ * and feel free to ask me to elaborate. And another thing _____* again, that's just in general. Let me know if I've offered enough information. But again, maybe the best way is to come to an agreement about some general principles and then figuring out the details with the parents, especially once we get to know what the child's own needs are. One thing I can tell you is that I'm pretty good at keeping my cool when the going gets rough!"
Anonymous
06/12/2014 19:30
Subject: I thought I answered the questions decently, was told I "gave the run around" and was "too lectury"
I really like your answers. It shows that you aren't reflexively doing the first thing that pops in your mind but you really consider your approach and way your options. This would impress me if I were asking the questions.
Anonymous
06/11/2014 09:48
Subject: I thought I answered the questions decently, was told I "gave the run around" and was "too lectury"
Oh, be grateful you will not be dealing with this craziness everyday. They would make your job/life too complicated and miserable.
Anonymous
06/11/2014 09:47
Subject: I thought I answered the questions decently, was told I "gave the run around" and was "too lectury"
Oh, be grateful you will not be dealing with this craziness everyday. They would make your job/life
Anonymous
06/11/2014 07:52
Subject: I thought I answered the questions decently, was told I "gave the run around" and was "too lectury"
Anonymous wrote:OP, who told you your answers were exhausting? Was it an agency worker? If you are working with an agency and looking for a position that pays above average, I'm not surprised by this level of screening. If the parents told you that directly I'm surprised by their bluntness.
For those of you who never bother with questionnaires, that is the kind of attitude that demeans your profession. There are no licensing or educational barriers to becoming a nanny, so why shouldn't there be barriers to attaining a specific position? Most professional jobs worth having come with a rigorous screening process. In the corporate context, many positions require (explicitly or by custom) submission of a written vision statement. Some even require an in-depth screening with a shrink.
The parents obviously had a bad experience with their last nanny and want to ensure a better fit this time. They are looking for a professional nanny, not a glorified babysitter who will need a lot of day-to-day guidance in order to meet their expectations. Some of their questions are a little too open-ended to yield productive answers, but I don't fault them for using a questionnaire.
OP here again. I actually found this particular family through care.com. We first had an in-person interview -- the one where they (mostly the Dad) spent a lot of time venting about their current nanny to me. I got the impression from their questions/comments that she was rather young and they had micromanaged her either because they were either incapable of trusting her or because she was indeed incompetent. (From my personal reading of the Mom and Dad, I felt sorry for her and suspect the former.)
After the interview I had very mixed feelings. The hours, pay, and location were great. The two kids were adorable. But I've been around long enough to know that a true dream job depends a great deal on the nanny-parent relationship and I just didn't have a good feeling that the parents would be able to trust me enough to make that a good thing.
In spite of my misgivings, at the end of the interview when the Dad said that he wanted to email a more extensive list of questions, I agreed to participate in that next leg of the process. Later when I read the questions I knew that it probably wasn't going to work out but I figured I would answer the questions to the best of my ability anyway... like, maybe if I really sold myself well enough they would relax a little and things would turn around...
Always go with your gut. PP, to answer your question, it was the Dad who said that it was exhausting to read my answers and that he didn't think we would be a good match. Fair enough -- from the feedback on this thread I can see the mistakes I made and that I need to update my nutritional knowledge -- but like I said I do think I dodged a bullet and that they just had too much baggage from their current situation.
Anonymous
06/10/2014 19:41
Subject: I thought I answered the questions decently, was told I "gave the run around" and was "too lectury"
Like most replies, I would pass on this family, but for your sake if I was going to answer them I would only write a couple short sentences and I would only use concrete examples from current or past kids.
Anonymous
06/10/2014 19:21
Subject: I thought I answered the questions decently, was told I "gave the run around" and was "too lectury"
OP, who told you your answers were exhausting? Was it an agency worker? If you are working with an agency and looking for a position that pays above average, I'm not surprised by this level of screening. If the parents told you that directly I'm surprised by their bluntness.
For those of you who never bother with questionnaires, that is the kind of attitude that demeans your profession. There are no licensing or educational barriers to becoming a nanny, so why shouldn't there be barriers to attaining a specific position? Most professional jobs worth having come with a rigorous screening process. In the corporate context, many positions require (explicitly or by custom) submission of a written vision statement. Some even require an in-depth screening with a shrink.
The parents obviously had a bad experience with their last nanny and want to ensure a better fit this time. They are looking for a professional nanny, not a glorified babysitter who will need a lot of day-to-day guidance in order to meet their expectations. Some of their questions are a little too open-ended to yield productive answers, but I don't fault them for using a questionnaire.
For those of you who never bother with questionnaires, that is the kind of attitude that demeans your profession. There are no licensing or educational barriers to becoming a nanny, so why shouldn't there be barriers to attaining a specific position? Most professional jobs worth having come with a rigorous screening process. In the corporate context, many positions require (explicitly or by custom) submission of a written vision statement. Some even require an in-depth screening with a shrink.
The parents obviously had a bad experience with their last nanny and want to ensure a better fit this time. They are looking for a professional nanny, not a glorified babysitter who will need a lot of day-to-day guidance in order to meet their expectations. Some of their questions are a little too open-ended to yield productive answers, but I don't fault them for using a questionnaire.
Anonymous
06/10/2014 18:39
Subject: I thought I answered the questions decently, was told I "gave the run around" and was "too lectury"
Disagree. I liked your answers (just quickly skimmed though). I would want detailed info if I were considering hiring you. The family just needed a reason to give you.
Anonymous
06/10/2014 17:53
Subject: I thought I answered the questions decently, was told I "gave the run around" and was "too lectury"
Anonymous wrote:Yes. Or total rookies who found a list of questions somewhere and thought this would be a good idea and instead are learning a painful lesson!
Hmm, well in this case the parents were definitely not rookies. In fact, the spent a lot of time in the f2f interview bad-mouthing their current (about to be former) nanny to me. I was really put off by such unprofessionalism. Also, the dad (who is a WOHD and would have been a constant thorn in my side during the day I suspect) had an apparent fixation on how much housework I would have been expected to do and how well I would have done it. One question he asked me in person was "If you came in one morning and found that there was peanut butter smeared all over the couch from breakfast, how would you clean it?". The couch in question was an expensive leather piece and he seemed obsessed with wondering how I would clean various parts of the house.
Run run run they seem like the type who would make you pay to replace the couch if you couldn't clean it to their perfection.
Anonymous
06/10/2014 15:35
Subject: I thought I answered the questions decently, was told I "gave the run around" and was "too lectury"
Yes. Or total rookies who found a list of questions somewhere and thought this would be a good idea and instead are learning a painful lesson!
Hmm, well in this case the parents were definitely not rookies. In fact, the spent a lot of time in the f2f interview bad-mouthing their current (about to be former) nanny to me. I was really put off by such unprofessionalism. Also, the dad (who is a WOHD and would have been a constant thorn in my side during the day I suspect) had an apparent fixation on how much housework I would have been expected to do and how well I would have done it. One question he asked me in person was "If you came in one morning and found that there was peanut butter smeared all over the couch from breakfast, how would you clean it?". The couch in question was an expensive leather piece and he seemed obsessed with wondering how I would clean various parts of the house.
Anonymous
06/10/2014 15:22
Subject: I thought I answered the questions decently, was told I "gave the run around" and was "too lectury"
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here again.
I really do appreciate the very helpful feedback on how these might have been better answered. I will definitely keep some of the comments here in mind if this situation ever arises in the future.
OTOH, I do suspect I dodged a bullet. The other questions that I didn't include in my initial post were even more problematic (to me), so the entire experience left an off taste in my mouth.
Here were some of the other questions:
- In general, what developmental milestones should [name withheld] have achieved by her 4th birthday? What should be her goals before her 5th birthday? Why do you believe these are the milestones she should have achieved or should achieve.
- In general, what developmental milestones should [name withheld] have achieved by his 2nd birthday? What should be his goals by his 3rd birthday? Why do you believe these are the milestones he should have achieved or should achieve?
- What tools and resources will you use to bring creative development ideas to my family? What on-line and local resources will you use to identify great things and ideas to stimulate their little brains.
- How would you regularly communicate to us the progress against:
- your weekly tasks?
- Your learning goals for the children? The progress of the children? Specifically, [name withheld] needs to learn to recognize her ABC's and to write them. She also needs to learn to write her name and learn, write and recognize her numbers. How much time during the week would you spend reinforcing and teaching these skills and how will you approach this teaching? Also specifically, [name withheld] needs to improve his speaking abilities and use the potty. How will you approach helping him with this?
- Activities and general information from the day? (What they ate, did they sleep, things they said, did, things you noticed, things you did?)
- The plan for the week? Month?
High-maintenance. Big time.
Yes. Or total rookies who found a list of questions somewhere and thought this would be a good idea and instead are learning a painful lesson!
Anonymous
06/10/2014 15:17
Subject: I thought I answered the questions decently, was told I "gave the run around" and was "too lectury"
Anonymous wrote:OP here again.
I really do appreciate the very helpful feedback on how these might have been better answered. I will definitely keep some of the comments here in mind if this situation ever arises in the future.
OTOH, I do suspect I dodged a bullet. The other questions that I didn't include in my initial post were even more problematic (to me), so the entire experience left an off taste in my mouth.
Here were some of the other questions:
- In general, what developmental milestones should [name withheld] have achieved by her 4th birthday? What should be her goals before her 5th birthday? Why do you believe these are the milestones she should have achieved or should achieve.
- In general, what developmental milestones should [name withheld] have achieved by his 2nd birthday? What should be his goals by his 3rd birthday? Why do you believe these are the milestones he should have achieved or should achieve?
- What tools and resources will you use to bring creative development ideas to my family? What on-line and local resources will you use to identify great things and ideas to stimulate their little brains.
- How would you regularly communicate to us the progress against:
- your weekly tasks?
- Your learning goals for the children? The progress of the children? Specifically, [name withheld] needs to learn to recognize her ABC's and to write them. She also needs to learn to write her name and learn, write and recognize her numbers. How much time during the week would you spend reinforcing and teaching these skills and how will you approach this teaching? Also specifically, [name withheld] needs to improve his speaking abilities and use the potty. How will you approach helping him with this?
- Activities and general information from the day? (What they ate, did they sleep, things they said, did, things you noticed, things you did?)
- The plan for the week? Month?
High-maintenance. Big time.
Anonymous
06/10/2014 15:09
Subject: I thought I answered the questions decently, was told I "gave the run around" and was "too lectury"
Oh wow. I generally think that a few written questions is fine (even useful to begin conversation online sometimes!) but that is way excessive and you definitely dodged a bullet!
Anonymous
06/10/2014 15:02
Subject: I thought I answered the questions decently, was told I "gave the run around" and was "too lectury"
OP here again.
I really do appreciate the very helpful feedback on how these might have been better answered. I will definitely keep some of the comments here in mind if this situation ever arises in the future.
OTOH, I do suspect I dodged a bullet. The other questions that I didn't include in my initial post were even more problematic (to me), so the entire experience left an off taste in my mouth.
Here were some of the other questions:
- In general, what developmental milestones should [name withheld] have achieved by her 4th birthday? What should be her goals before her 5th birthday? Why do you believe these are the milestones she should have achieved or should achieve.
- In general, what developmental milestones should [name withheld] have achieved by his 2nd birthday? What should be his goals by his 3rd birthday? Why do you believe these are the milestones he should have achieved or should achieve?
- What tools and resources will you use to bring creative development ideas to my family? What on-line and local resources will you use to identify great things and ideas to stimulate their little brains.
- How would you regularly communicate to us the progress against:
- your weekly tasks?
- Your learning goals for the children? The progress of the children? Specifically, [name withheld] needs to learn to recognize her ABC's and to write them. She also needs to learn to write her name and learn, write and recognize her numbers. How much time during the week would you spend reinforcing and teaching these skills and how will you approach this teaching? Also specifically, [name withheld] needs to improve his speaking abilities and use the potty. How will you approach helping him with this?
- Activities and general information from the day? (What they ate, did they sleep, things they said, did, things you noticed, things you did?)
- The plan for the week? Month?
I really do appreciate the very helpful feedback on how these might have been better answered. I will definitely keep some of the comments here in mind if this situation ever arises in the future.
OTOH, I do suspect I dodged a bullet. The other questions that I didn't include in my initial post were even more problematic (to me), so the entire experience left an off taste in my mouth.
Here were some of the other questions:
- In general, what developmental milestones should [name withheld] have achieved by her 4th birthday? What should be her goals before her 5th birthday? Why do you believe these are the milestones she should have achieved or should achieve.
- In general, what developmental milestones should [name withheld] have achieved by his 2nd birthday? What should be his goals by his 3rd birthday? Why do you believe these are the milestones he should have achieved or should achieve?
- What tools and resources will you use to bring creative development ideas to my family? What on-line and local resources will you use to identify great things and ideas to stimulate their little brains.
- How would you regularly communicate to us the progress against:
- your weekly tasks?
- Your learning goals for the children? The progress of the children? Specifically, [name withheld] needs to learn to recognize her ABC's and to write them. She also needs to learn to write her name and learn, write and recognize her numbers. How much time during the week would you spend reinforcing and teaching these skills and how will you approach this teaching? Also specifically, [name withheld] needs to improve his speaking abilities and use the potty. How will you approach helping him with this?
- Activities and general information from the day? (What they ate, did they sleep, things they said, did, things you noticed, things you did?)
- The plan for the week? Month?
Anonymous
06/10/2014 13:28
Subject: I thought I answered the questions decently, was told I "gave the run around" and was "too lectury"
MB here. I think the first problem is the questionnaire - I really don't think this is a reasonable or effective way to screen applicants. So I think you dodged a bullet.
I do think your answers were too long, but I don't like the whole approach. If I were in your shoes I might have given very short answers, or bundled some of my answers. I'd want a prospective nanny to demonstrate some knowledge and common sense, and also to make it clear that she sees her job as fulfilling the parent's wishes. The interview process should ensure that the nanny and the parents are on the same page, and can be a good team, but to have this exhaustive questionnaire I really think sets things off on the wrong foot.
You're set up to look pedantic and long-winded, and then they hold it against you!
Ugh.
Good luck finding a better fit. I wouldn't want to work for these parents (and I'm a parent!)
I do think your answers were too long, but I don't like the whole approach. If I were in your shoes I might have given very short answers, or bundled some of my answers. I'd want a prospective nanny to demonstrate some knowledge and common sense, and also to make it clear that she sees her job as fulfilling the parent's wishes. The interview process should ensure that the nanny and the parents are on the same page, and can be a good team, but to have this exhaustive questionnaire I really think sets things off on the wrong foot.
You're set up to look pedantic and long-winded, and then they hold it against you!
Ugh.
Good luck finding a better fit. I wouldn't want to work for these parents (and I'm a parent!)