Anonymous wrote:I'm an employer rather than a nanny. I asked each candidate how they would handle discipline when a one yr old wasn't listening, a 2 yr old was trying to run into the street, a 3 yr old was throwing a temper tantrum in a store, a 4 yr old being defiant, etc. Basically, I wanted to know how they handle stress.

I also asked what would make THEM uncomfortable. I wanted to hear what their deal-breakers were. I asked how comfortable they were with being assertive, how they would handle if they and DH & I had different discipline ideas to implement, what they envisioned themselves doing during nap time, etc.

I asked a lot of open-ended questions rather than "We believe in one warning, then a spank, is that something you'll follow?" So I asked each one "Tell me about a time you lost control of the kids you were watching." "Tell me about a time when you lost your temper and wish you had handled things differently."

See as a nanny these question erk me. Any time I have "lost control" I have soon forgot out of embarrassment. Also any time I have lost my temper it would be in an unusual situation with probably a lot of build up... For example in the toy store asking charge to leave 100 times and after not listening going over and physically removing the child from the store. I would much rather my mb give me a scenario and how I would I Handle it under control! Because 97% of the time I am under control at work.
Also I hate when they say tell me about a time because I don't feel prepared and I have to think for a moment and I feel unprofessional.

I had one family ask what is one word that would describe me. Come to think of it all of there questions were like online dating!!

The BEST interviews I've had are when MBs and I chat and seem to hit it off. Yes I want her to ask me questions and want to learn about my job history and parenting styles but please don't ask me tell me about a time where you lost a child in the store...

Weirdest (inappropriate questions):

A lot a lot of, "Are you Christian?" "Do you attend church regularly?" "Do you believe that Jesus Christ is Lord overall?" "Do you have Christian moral and values?"

I pretty much try to cut the interview short with any questions like that... I have no issue with working for a Christian family, or Jewish or Muslim I just don't want to work for a family that is going to be intolerant of other religions/cultures.

"Were you spanked as a child", "Are you gay?", "What is your relationship like with your parents?", and "What is your diet like?" all seem a bit too personal for a first time interview.

Anonymous wrote:PP, that's unfair. There are many nannies looking for long term jobs and many parents who are good, if not great, employers. Yes, some children suffer through a revolving door of nannies but that is not the norm and when you insist on posting what appears to be your only though over and over, even in threads like this where it isn't relevant, you sound unhinged.

Very few people know how to be great employers, you must be aware of that, aren't you?

The most akward questions are "would you be willing to do X without any additional compensation." I often do small favors for employers I am on good terms with and who I am confident won't tend toward job creep. However, in an interview I don't know you and I see it as a red flag that you would even ask a question like that.

Regarding discipline, I have worked for families with various discipline styles. If you asked me how I handled a situation and it differs from your approach I would hope ypu would also followup by describing what you would do differently and whether I have experience with that method. For example, one parent I worked for does inquiry based reflection (can you tell me another way you could have gotten that book from the top shelf?) while another one simply tells her kids what the rules are and the consequence. Some parents do CIO and some never want a tear to hit the carpet. An expereinced nanny can support the family in their approach.

Also, wait until the end of the interview to discuss salary. Most nannies have a range and your needs will dictate where you fall within that range. For example, if you are an emergency room doctor and will need me to work odd hours with little notice and in any kind of weather I would charge more then for someone who needs regular hours and I can count on having my weekends off. Same for extra duties. Want your nanny to doctor your elderly poodle and teach your kids piano? You can bet that will cost more. They need the full interview to learn that stuff about you.

Anonymous wrote:PP, that's unfair. There are many nannies looking for long term jobs and many parents who are good, if not great, employers. Yes, some children suffer through a revolving door of nannies but that is not the norm and when you insist on posting what appears to be your only though over and over, even in threads like this where it isn't relevant, you sound unhinged.

Of course most of us would prefer longterm success stories, but perhaps you are new here?
For example, "Should I fire the nanny for taking my child into a CVS without asking me first?" And that one is tame, compared to most other problems (fecal DB laundry for nanny to clean. Heck, I'm still trying to imagine that nanny still there, after that one!)

Thought*

PP, that's unfair. There are many nannies looking for long term jobs and many parents who are good, if not great, employers. Yes, some children suffer through a revolving door of nannies but that is not the norm and when you insist on posting what appears to be your only though over and over, even in threads like this where it isn't relevant, you sound unhinged.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few weeks ago I was asked, "do you have a boyfriend? tell me about him." Um, no thanks, weirdo. I know she was just trying to be friendly and find something out about my life, but it was just a weird question. When I told her basic things (his age, what he does, etc.) she looked like she wanted to know more. Not sure what she wanted to know! LOL

I've also been asked what my discipline styles were for an infant. I just told them I don't think 3 month olds really need to be disciplined, but that an older child I usually do time outs. I was just taken aback since the baby was sitting with them during the interview, so I'm like how would I ever discipline this little guy!?

I do think asking about discipline styles and other things that are age appropriate for your child is very important. I would want to focus on things that are important for your child right now and in the immediate future. Skip over questions about how a nanny would care for a 5 year old. Honestly it kind of freaks me out when people start talking about that far in the future, not because I'm not looking for something long term, but I think maybe someone who is looking to do infant care may end up leaving the job once the child is a bit older, you know?

Well that was important to me because I wanted to hire ONE nanny for 0-7. I didn't want to hire a nanny for infant care ,then another for toddler care, then a third for preschool age care, then one for early elementary school care, etc. Asking about your boyfriend was weird and unprofessional of her.

Yup, it's definitely a good question to ask about discipline if you are looking for someone to work for you until your child is 7 or even older. I'm looking at jobs that are 1-2 years in length at most since most people in my area don't/need want a nanny for that long term.

It's just a fantasy. Consider yourself fortunate if you get past one year, let alone much more than that. Revolving door nannies seem to be the norm. Awful for the children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few weeks ago I was asked, "do you have a boyfriend? tell me about him." Um, no thanks, weirdo. I know she was just trying to be friendly and find something out about my life, but it was just a weird question. When I told her basic things (his age, what he does, etc.) she looked like she wanted to know more. Not sure what she wanted to know! LOL

I've also been asked what my discipline styles were for an infant. I just told them I don't think 3 month olds really need to be disciplined, but that an older child I usually do time outs. I was just taken aback since the baby was sitting with them during the interview, so I'm like how would I ever discipline this little guy!?

I do think asking about discipline styles and other things that are age appropriate for your child is very important. I would want to focus on things that are important for your child right now and in the immediate future. Skip over questions about how a nanny would care for a 5 year old. Honestly it kind of freaks me out when people start talking about that far in the future, not because I'm not looking for something long term, but I think maybe someone who is looking to do infant care may end up leaving the job once the child is a bit older, you know?

Well that was important to me because I wanted to hire ONE nanny for 0-7. I didn't want to hire a nanny for infant care ,then another for toddler care, then a third for preschool age care, then one for early elementary school care, etc. Asking about your boyfriend was weird and unprofessional of her.

Yup, it's definitely a good question to ask about discipline if you are looking for someone to work for you until your child is 7 or even older. I'm looking at jobs that are 1-2 years in length at most since most people in my area don't/need want a nanny for that long term.