Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the feedback. This gives me a lot to think about. Right now, my nanny is asking for more in terms of flexibility and reduced hours, which I might be able to provide, but at a cost to me (i.e., I will need to do a lot more work at night), and this might be very difficult for me after the baby as I think I will likely prefer more help not less. However, we do love the nanny, and she loves the kids. If I do give more flexibility but no raise, is this fair? Or does it need to be both? I guess I'm having a hard time giving a raise if I decide to honor the hours/flexibility request since it will make my life more difficult rather than easier after the baby comes.

I think you are going to end up being very overwhelmed if you give her flexibility in hours when you need more help. I think you will end up being very burnt out. You are going to have to ask yourself if it is worth it to you to flex your hours. A stressed out mommy is not helpful to your family.

As a nanny I will say that you need to do what is best for your family and yourself. If you feel you need more help when the nanny wants to work less, then the situation is no longer right for either of you and you should both move on. Not doing so will only cause tension which isn't good for anyone.

I understand your considerations, however, you are at risk of losing clarity in your compensation package. It sounds like you are juggling many factors that are leading you to conflate various parts of the compensation package.


Base pay is paid for all hours worked. If she works fewer hours in a day then she will be paid less that day. But, the pay per hour is the same whether you agree to her coming in from 9am or 11am. If she is still working the same number of hours each week but on a different schedule, her weekly pay will be the same.

OP here. Thanks for the feedback. This gives me a lot to think about. Right now, my nanny is asking for more in terms of flexibility and reduced hours, which I might be able to provide, but at a cost to me (i.e., I will need to do a lot more work at night), and this might be very difficult for me after the baby as I think I will likely prefer more help not less. However, we do love the nanny, and she loves the kids. If I do give more flexibility but no raise, is this fair? Or does it need to be both? I guess I'm having a hard time giving a raise if I decide to honor the hours/flexibility request since it will make my life more difficult rather than easier after the baby comes.

OP, it depends on your relationship with your nanny.

My NF has been incredible to me and when they asked me to stay on another year and disclosed they were expecting again they, very honestly, told me they couldn't afford to give me a raise. I could 1) see they felt terrible about that and 2) knew they had compensated me in other ways that probably more than made up for the extra $1/hr many nannies expect. I would never leave employers and kids as great as them to make an extra $40/week minus taxes. Never. And I also made $20/hr for 2.5 years with just their first.

So you have to weigh for yourself how well you've treated the nanny, how strong your relationship with her is, how deep her loyalty to your family runs, and your reasons for not wanting to give a raise. If it is literally only because the only child is starting school half days, that's not really a good enough reason and your nanny will be hurt. If she just got her annual raise and you are stretching your budget, you might give a large bonuse instead of a raise. There is no one size fits all answer, unfortunately, but the many PPs are right that typically in this scenario, barring unknown circumstances, a $1/hr raise as soon as the new baby comes home is common and expected by MANY nannies.

Op here. I actually currently pay 20, which is on the high end for one kid.

Yikes, you are already overpaying but you are in a situation of your own making and still need to raise her rate for a second child. Go with the standard rate of $1/hr and apply that for all hours. Yes, you are still overpaying for when your child is in preschool, but if you have a good nanny, and you want to keep her, this is likely the best way.

Parents really need to consider carefully the rates for their jobs and plan accordingly so they have room for annual raises. The market in DC is $15/hr for one child. If you offer $19/hr, you will price yourself out sooner than later.

Of course, you can pay what you want, but overpaying isn't smart if it means you need to look for a new nanny every few years.

MB here,

We just had a second child and we gave the nanny an immediate raise as soon as I came home (don't have any family helping us, recovering from c-section and DH had to return to work sooner than expected b/c of sudden death of his boss). Our oldest will be going to preschool at least 3 days a week and our nanny will be driving her there and picking her up. By the time she does drop off and then gets back w/ the younger one to put down for a nap, spend a little quality one on one time w/ him, it'll be time for her to pick up DC#1. Plus she'll be getting our DD ready in the morning for preschool as it starts after DH leaves for work. Also, in Arlington, there are so many school cancellations, so we never thought about paying our nanny for partial hours. It is too much of a head ache.

I am paid base rate for one and overtime rate when I have both, but the older one is in preschool all day. You may not be able to afford that since you are only doing half day but just a suggestion for any sick days/school breaks.

Anonymous wrote:I do $25 for one child.

You pay way too much