If my MB asked me to come in early for a week because she needed to get to work earlier I would agree no problem. If I then realized that on Friday she actually planned to just sleep in, but still have me come in early, that's completely fine with you all? Its dishonest.

You all flip your shit when a nanny uses her sick days for mental health days. Who cares how she uses that time right? Her MB agreed to those benefits right? She should just shut her judgmental mouth right?

OP agreed to help when she could see an actual need. I completely agree that if you take a full time job working for a stay at home mom, you don't get to complain that she spends her time getting her nails done and meeting with friends. This is different to me. Her flexibility is being taken for granted. OP might not have agreed to come in early if her MB had been honest and said I'd like you to wake up early so that I can sleep. I would say no too.

Anonymous wrote:But you chose a job that required flexibility. You don't get to judge the reason for the flexibility if they are paying you and you already agreed to be flexible.

Op here, I do have guaranteed hours and more than one charge so I would not be missing any pay. I am so annoyed because I agreed to come in early because she needed help. She doesn't need help to sleep. She only needed help when she was going to be late for work but now that my charged had an appointment, there was no need to come in early. The appointment is 2.5 hours LATER than when she normally leaves for work. She could have easily got up at her normal time, got ready, and tended to the kids until I arrived at normal time.

You are judging her, but she has done nothing wrong. If you have such contempt for her, look for a new job.

How exactly can she NOT judge her? Do nannies just bend over and take things up the behind all time?

But you chose a job that required flexibility. You don't get to judge the reason for the flexibility if they are paying you and you already agreed to be flexible.

Op here, I do have guaranteed hours and more than one charge so I would not be missing any pay. I am so annoyed because I agreed to come in early because she needed help. She doesn't need help to sleep. She only needed help when she was going to be late for work but now that my charged had an appointment, there was no need to come in early. The appointment is 2.5 hours LATER than when she normally leaves for work. She could have easily got up at her normal time, got ready, and tended to the kids until I arrived at normal time.

You are judging her, but she has done nothing wrong. If you have such contempt for her, look for a new job.

Anonymous wrote:I think I understand what you're saying OP. You'd agreed to come in early this week because DB was out of town and your MB was in a pinch. Now come to find out, on a day where she didnt actually need you there early, and could have given you a break, she gave herself one instead. I would be peeved too.

And to those jumping all over OP, everyone passes judgement. There is nothing wrong with her coming here to vent. She has no real grounds to complain to her MB, but it sure as hell is annoying.

This is exactly my point! I live thirty mins away so asking me to come in even thirty mins earlier throws off my entire morning routine. I agreed to help so she wouldn't be late for work...not so she could sleep in. She went ahead and still assumed that I should be in early bc I already agreed to help..."when she really needed me". She's taking advantage of my flexibility.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I do have guaranteed hours and more than one charge so I would not be missing any pay. I am so annoyed because I agreed to come in early because she needed help. She doesn't need help to sleep. She only needed help when she was going to be late for work but now that my charged had an appointment, there was no need to come in early. The appointment is 2.5 hours LATER than when she normally leaves for work. She could have easily got up at her normal time, got ready, and tended to the kids until I arrived at normal time.

It's not for you to judge why she needs your help. You agreed to help. She'll be paying you for your time.

Period.

I think your attitude is way out of line. Say no if you don't want to do it, or say yes and be gracious. Keep your obnoxious judgment to yourself.

No, you're missing the entire point! I said yes when she was in a pinch.

Right, and because you don't see it as enough of "a pinch" you're being nasty. You may not know everything, you know. Either way - take the money and do the job you agreed to, or back out on your high horse.

I hope she finds another nanny who chooses to support her more graciously, you sound vile.

How is she being nasty? Jesus Christ some of you are touched.

I think I understand what you're saying OP. You'd agreed to come in early this week because DB was out of town and your MB was in a pinch. Now come to find out, on a day where she didnt actually need you there early, and could have given you a break, she gave herself one instead. I would be peeved too.

And to those jumping all over OP, everyone passes judgement. There is nothing wrong with her coming here to vent. She has no real grounds to complain to her MB, but it sure as hell is annoying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I do have guaranteed hours and more than one charge so I would not be missing any pay. I am so annoyed because I agreed to come in early because she needed help. She doesn't need help to sleep. She only needed help when she was going to be late for work but now that my charged had an appointment, there was no need to come in early. The appointment is 2.5 hours LATER than when she normally leaves for work. She could have easily got up at her normal time, got ready, and tended to the kids until I arrived at normal time.

It's not for you to judge why she needs your help. You agreed to help. She'll be paying you for your time.

Period.

I think your attitude is way out of line. Say no if you don't want to do it, or say yes and be gracious. Keep your obnoxious judgment to yourself.

No, you're missing the entire point! I said yes when she was in a pinch.

Right, and because you don't see it as enough of "a pinch" you're being nasty. You may not know everything, you know. Either way - take the money and do the job you agreed to, or back out on your high horse.

I hope she finds another nanny who chooses to support her more graciously, you sound vile.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I do have guaranteed hours and more than one charge so I would not be missing any pay. I am so annoyed because I agreed to come in early because she needed help. She doesn't need help to sleep. She only needed help when she was going to be late for work but now that my charged had an appointment, there was no need to come in early. The appointment is 2.5 hours LATER than when she normally leaves for work. She could have easily got up at her normal time, got ready, and tended to the kids until I arrived at normal time.

It's not for you to judge why she needs your help. You agreed to help. She'll be paying you for your time.

Period.

I think your attitude is way out of line. Say no if you don't want to do it, or say yes and be gracious. Keep your obnoxious judgment to yourself.

No, you're missing the entire point! I said yes when she was in a pinch.

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I do have guaranteed hours and more than one charge so I would not be missing any pay. I am so annoyed because I agreed to come in early because she needed help. She doesn't need help to sleep. She only needed help when she was going to be late for work but now that my charged had an appointment, there was no need to come in early. The appointment is 2.5 hours LATER than when she normally leaves for work. She could have easily got up at her normal time, got ready, and tended to the kids until I arrived at normal time.

It's not for you to judge why she needs your help. You agreed to help. She'll be paying you for your time.

Period.

I think your attitude is way out of line. Say no if you don't want to do it, or say yes and be gracious. Keep your obnoxious judgment to yourself.

Anonymous wrote:"No, she still doesn't have a right to be annoyed. You were asked to worked these hours. You agreed. How she chooses to spend this kid-free time is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Be a professional and work the time you agreed to without keeping track of how other people use their time."

No way. That only works for nannies always looking for OT. Some nannies already work a good amount but are willing to help their bosses out if they really need it - typically if it has to do with their boss's work. So if a nanny normally does not like to work OT or especially not morning OT then she was effectively doing her MB a favor by coming in early for a reason she thought MB had little control over changing. Sleeping in is certainly in MB's control.

Look, you are either flexible or you are not. If changing the hours works for you, then great. If it doesn't you can say no--and to address a PP, if boss says, "Oh, and we need to to come at 7 on Wednesday," you just say, "Sorry, I'm not available before 8. Do you have a backup sitter or should you change the appointment?" If you are only willing to be flexible in a true emergency as determined by you, then you are not actually flexible and shouldn't agree. You don't get to agree with steings attached.

She's totally taking advantage of the fact that you are being so flexible while your DB is away.

Op here, I do have guaranteed hours and more than one charge so I would not be missing any pay. I am so annoyed because I agreed to come in early because she needed help. She doesn't need help to sleep. She only needed help when she was going to be late for work but now that my charged had an appointment, there was no need to come in early. The appointment is 2.5 hours LATER than when she normally leaves for work. She could have easily got up at her normal time, got ready, and tended to the kids until I arrived at normal time.

Anonymous wrote:I understand you may be annoyed, I would be too.

But to be fair, perhaps she is doing it to give you more working hours so that you can make more money. Like..It's not your fault her son has a dentist appt. so she won't make you lose pay over coming over later. She will just have you come at the same time so you can make the same amount of money.

Why would the nanny lose pay/work because the MB is taking the child to a dentist appointment? Don't you have guaranteed hours, OP?

"No, she still doesn't have a right to be annoyed. You were asked to worked these hours. You agreed. How she chooses to spend this kid-free time is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Be a professional and work the time you agreed to without keeping track of how other people use their time."

No way. That only works for nannies always looking for OT. Some nannies already work a good amount but are willing to help their bosses out if they really need it - typically if it has to do with their boss's work. So if a nanny normally does not like to work OT or especially not morning OT then she was effectively doing her MB a favor by coming in early for a reason she thought MB had little control over changing. Sleeping in is certainly in MB's control.

I know that sometimes when my MB wants me to work extra hours she presents it to me as a given, rather than a request. "Larla has a dentist appointment on Wednesday so I'll need you here at 7 instead of 8." When it is presented this way I am put in the awkward position of either letting it go and not being a pill, or saying hey you forgot to ask me and I don't really feel like waking up an hour early and disrupting my own household's routine. If this is how OP "agreed" to come in early I can TOTALLY see your annoyance. MBs, please be sure that when you make changes to the schedule that you are actually asking your nanny, not telling her. This is how resentment fester. You think you're sweet as pie, and your nanny loves helping out with extra hours and she always sweetly agrees, but she sees you as demanding and disrespectful of her time.