*UPDATE*

OP Here:

I actually got brave and discussed this issue w/my MomBoss and she told me her son doesn't ask the parents to lie down next to the bed for her or her husband like he does for me, so she said it is okay for me to do so.

She also said as the nanny, she gives me complete autonomy during my stay and wants me to feel comfortable and content when I am in her home and caring for her son.

She also told me she never wants me to feel as if I cannot come to her and address any concern if I have any and that she wants me to know that she is approachable and is easy to talk to about anything.

She only wants the best for her son and she feels for him to have this, it is vital that the relationship between her and I remain a good one. The foundation to this is by far open communication and deep respect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you were wrong. The parents had given you clear and concise direction on how to handle naps. You ignored it.

Yeah but their "clear and concise directions" clearly don't even work. And since they aren't even the ones to be there during the day, they obviously don't give a crap about this situation-or their nanny, as it seems. Additionally, it's not like the OP went directly against their wishes and let him CIO, she modified the parent's "plan." Sorry, OP. Don't know what to tell ya....I would've done the same thing as you, and MB should not be mad.

Unless OP works seven days a week, the parents deal with the nap situation at least two days a week during the day, and they deal with their child's sleep habits every night. So they probably do "give a crap about the situation" as you so eloquently put it ...

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you were wrong. The parents had given you clear and concise direction on how to handle naps. You ignored it.

Yeah but their "clear and concise directions" clearly don't even work. And since they aren't even the ones to be there during the day, they obviously don't give a crap about this situation-or their nanny, as it seems. Additionally, it's not like the OP went directly against their wishes and let him CIO, she modified the parent's "plan." Sorry, OP. Don't know what to tell ya....I would've done the same thing as you, and MB should not be mad.

Anonymous wrote:There's a huge difference between 3 year old twins and an 18 month old.

Not sure I see your point. Nanny, and parents have been the same people (w/ the same variations in approach) for these kids since they were 4 months old. Great nappers and sleepers throughout their lives thus far, through all nap transition periods, schedule shifts, etc...

Our approaches have always been different and the kids understood that to an astonishing degree even when they were 6 months old.

There's a huge difference between 3 year old twins and an 18 month old.

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I hugely disagree with what your boss is instructing/requiring/prohibiting.

Our nanny has a very different approach to napping and put-down than we do. We figured out what was non-negotiable for me (schedule) and everything else I let her handle her way. Our kids completely understand who they're dealing with. They get our nanny to hold and coddle them for extended periods of time. They get their dad to sing to them for half an hour. Neither dad nor nanny understands why they go down for me in 15 minutes without a complaint.

All of our approaches work and are driven by our personal preferences and our kids are fantastic and consistent nappers and sleepers (3 yr old twins).

Your MB is wrong, in my opinion, but unfortunately you're kind of stuck.

I'm sorry.

OP Here.

I love your perspective...I wish my MB had yours. Thanks for sharing.

MB here. I hugely disagree with what your boss is instructing/requiring/prohibiting.

Our nanny has a very different approach to napping and put-down than we do. We figured out what was non-negotiable for me (schedule) and everything else I let her handle her way. Our kids completely understand who they're dealing with. They get our nanny to hold and coddle them for extended periods of time. They get their dad to sing to them for half an hour. Neither dad nor nanny understands why they go down for me in 15 minutes without a complaint.

All of our approaches work and are driven by our personal preferences and our kids are fantastic and consistent nappers and sleepers (3 yr old twins).

Your MB is wrong, in my opinion, but unfortunately you're kind of stuck.

I'm sorry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi ,I just having be done with my family,after 17 mont,you guys think she's need to help me paint list one week for me?please let me know.thanks.

+1

I think what you did was fine op. Too bad your my doesn't see it this way.

Definitely see if his nap time needs to be adjusted. Also look at what he's eating for lunch. Eliminate things like yogurt or jam with high sugar content. Pick quite books to read before nap, don't make it learning time while your reading. Just simply read to him. Is the room as dark as it can be? With white noise on? Also does your mb have a video monitor? I would stand outside the door (closed) and as soon as he stands up or gets up to cry go in and say its nap time. Lie him down and walk out. If he's lying down and crying he probably will fall asleep!

OP Here:
Yes, we do read three books before nap time and I close his blinds completely and use white noise on his i-pad. The video monitor is always on downstairs and as soon as I close the door, he stands up in his crib and just starts to scream and scream.

He only takes this one nap daily and honestly I have thought about this ALL weekend long and I really do not see what harm there is on what I have done. It makes my job easier and it benefits the little guy as well because he gets a good nap in which is a benefit for everyone, trust me.

I totally understand the mother wanting consistency, but I don't think considering his young age he will expect every adult that puts him down to sleep from now on will need to lay down next to him in order for him to fall asleep. I think he will only associate this laying down next to his crib with me. And even if he does ask another adult to lay down next to him, all the other adult has to do is decline and simply say, "No." I highly doubt an 18 month old is going to throw a huge fit over someone other than me not laying down with him when they haven't before...If he throws a fit about someone not laying down by his crib before a nap, that someone will most likely only be me.

I do not understand why my boss is not allowing this, I highly disagree with her parenting decision, but ultimately it is HER child and it is my duty as the nanny to follow her instructions and respect them even if they are not in line with what I believe in. As long as I am not being asked to harm or neglect a child, I am to do as I am told or seek another childcare position. It will not be easy, but I have no choice but to comply w/her wishes.

Thank you everyone for the excellent advice. Wish me luck at work. I will need it!

Anonymous wrote:Hi ,I just having be done with my family,after 17 mont,you guys think she's need to help me paint list one week for me?please let me know.thanks.

+1

I think what you did was fine op. Too bad your my doesn't see it this way.

Definitely see if his nap time needs to be adjusted. Also look at what he's eating for lunch. Eliminate things like yogurt or jam with high sugar content. Pick quite books to read before nap, don't make it learning time while your reading. Just simply read to him. Is the room as dark as it can be? With white noise on? Also does your mb have a video monitor? I would stand outside the door (closed) and as soon as he stands up or gets up to cry go in and say its nap time. Lie him down and walk out. If he's lying down and crying he probably will fall asleep!

Anonymous wrote:Hi ,I just having be done with my family,after 17 mont,you guys think she's need to help me paint list one week for me?please let me know.thanks.

? huh?

Hi ,I just having be done with my family,after 17 mont,you guys think she's need to help me paint list one week for me?please let me know.thanks.

In order for the pick up/put down method to work you have to be extremely consistent and follow through. Maybe do some research on the method as it seems your MB isn't giving you a clear explanation.

I think the parents wanted you to follow a sleep training method -- The Baby Whisperer. Her approach calls for going to your baby when he cries, picking him up, and putting him back down as many times as necessary. I don't know where the 45 minute rule came in. I didn't see that in my research.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-no-tears-methods_1497581.bc?page=2

I know there is a method similar to yours, where the adult stays in the room, sometimes laying down, until the child falls asleep. Gradually you move further away from the child, leave when they are drowsy vs sleeping, etc. But I'm not sure which method that is.

One thing that most say: consistency is important. That's probably why she was upset. Instead of talking about your ideas for another method, you changed things. That could impact their routine too.

Could his nap time be changing? Is he taking multiple naps still? If so, he might be ready to drop one. Maybe he needs to be put down a little earlier or a little later.
I wouldn't necessarily say you were "wrong," but I can see both sides and understand why your MB was unhappy.