Anonymous wrote:I wonder why you didn't just postpone work a week to begin with.

This is OP, work timed out with an end of session event so I went back for it last week, its now dead this week. I didn't say I was entitled not to pay the nanny, I wasn't sure how this works...I was just asking for opinions and asking questions. I got really lucky with my daycare- its 2 women and 5 children (including mine)- I know its not 1 on 1 but I just am more comfortable there or I hope to me.

And for heaven's sake, I'm not your typical DCUM waspy lady. I come from an immigrant family, first to go to college, bilingiual, broken English doesn't bother me in the least...so shove your assumptions there. Its disgusting. Also, I didn't even confirm broken english in the first place- that was another poster

Trust your instincts and let this nanny go. It sounds like you can work at home some of the time and your DH can take off some time. This should work for the week.

I would not pay her because you're firing her for cause.

I wonder why you didn't just postpone work a week to begin with.

you need to trust your instincts, but also really ask yourself if you are just nervous about leaving your baby for the first time? I'm not saying that's the case at all, but just something to consider. Good luck with whatever you decide and I hope things go well and that daycare will be able to handle his reflux so he can continue to be happy thriving baby!

Anonymous wrote:

What will you do when your little guy goes to daycare? You will be unable to monitor him in there.

I hate to tell you this, but I am pretty sure your nanny took much better care of him and gave him more one-on-one attention then he will get in a daycare.

In a daycare, he will get less attention since there will be multiple children to look after.
Just understand this.

PP, you are probably right he will get less 1:1 attention at daycare, but you are absolutely wrong that the nanny "took much better care of him." Trained daycare workers will ensure OP's son gets appropriate sleep as well as soothing for his reflux. He is absolutely better off at a daycare than with this incompetent "nanny."

OP, I am wondering....How did you find this nanny? On your own or through an agency?

Anyway, yes you are a FTM and leaving your precious baby alone for the first time w/a new person is not an easy thing either for you or your baby. Also remember, that for this nanny this is also a new situation as well since she and your baby have to get to know each other and bond this week, etc. They have their own dynamic to deal w/too.

It could be that you are just a nervous FTM or it also could be that this nanny may not be the right fit for your family. None of us responding to your post will be able to adequately know.

Do what you feel is right. If you can make it work, then by all means, take the time off work this week if it makes you feel better.

If this nanny didn't really do anything neglectful or abusive, it would be wrong to not compensate her for the week if you already agreed to give her a week's job. However, the hour being late to me is a good reason enough because for her first week that is pretty serious.

What will you do when your little guy goes to daycare? You will be unable to monitor him in there.

I hate to tell you this, but I am pretty sure your nanny took much better care of him and gave him more one-on-one attention then he will get in a daycare.

In a daycare, he will get less attention since there will be multiple children to look after.
Just understand this.

I have to think that all these folks saying "who takes a one week job?" And "the nanny did nothing wrong" are just not experienced or professional nannies.

Lots of people take one week jobs and give references for them: between jobs, wanting to bring in extra money during a vacation week, etc. It's not SO impossible to find a temp nanny that you should just take what you can get and be thankful. Some nannies actually work exclusively as temps because they enjoy the flexibility of commanding their own schedule 100%--I did this for a while when my kids were young.

As for doing nothing wrong, the nanny was LATE on her first day, was unable to get a newborn to nap at all during an entire day, was carrying the baby around half-naked because ...reasons? I guess? and she was bouncing an infant with reflux, which is a major problem. No parent should overlook behavior that is going to cause their child immediate physical pain, and the sleep deprivation is going to make it very hard for the infant to adjust to daycare next week.

If you can pay for the whole week, that would be great, but she is being fired for cause IMO, and as such gets no "severance." OP, try again next week when you put your baby in a permanent situation--and FFS, vet your daycare provider better than you did the nanny. Have they worked with reflux before? What is their plan for getting him to nap?

OP, I am a daycare teacher/former nanny and I say go with your gut. Are you being oversensitive? Maybe, but it doesn't really matter. If something feels off to you, trust your instincts and don't have her watch your baby again. Find someone else or wait to go back to work until next week, you should be fully comfortable with the person you leave your baby with.

Anonymous wrote:OP has a ridiculous sense of entitlement.

+1 something tells me she looks down on the nanny because of her broken English.

OP has a ridiculous sense of entitlement.

Ugh there is so much wrong with this post that I'm not even going to attempt to respond. OP you're seriously overthinking this.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure that I would pay her for the week. I think you need to ask yourself if you asked her the right questions prior to hiring. Do you think she deliberately deceived you? Were you clear with her regarding your child's needs? If you feel that you did your due diligence during the interview process and gave clear instructions regarding DC's care and she has failed on her end, I wouldn't pay any additional. If you simply trusted her without detailed instructions and did not ask enough questions to determine a proper fit, then I think you should pay the entire week. If the blame lies somewhere in the middle, most likely th case, then I would pay a portion of the remaining week. Nannies don't often make much money. Losing money she planned on for time she blocked off for you could be difficult for her financially. You want to walk away with a clear conscience knowing you did the right thing for both your child and the caregiver you hired.

Also, as most of us agree, go with your gut! Maybe you are being overly sensitive. You are allowed to be overly sensitive regarding your child, that's your job! Just factor that into what you decide is fair compensation.

I'm not sure that I would pay her for the week. I think you need to ask yourself if you asked her the right questions prior to hiring. Do you think she deliberately deceived you? Were you clear with her regarding your child's needs? If you feel that you did your due diligence during the interview process and gave clear instructions regarding DC's care and she has failed on her end, I wouldn't pay any additional. If you simply trusted her without detailed instructions and did not ask enough questions to determine a proper fit, then I think you should pay the entire week. If the blame lies somewhere in the middle, most likely th case, then I would pay a portion of the remaining week. Nannies don't often make much money. Losing money she planned on for time she blocked off for you could be difficult for her financially. You want to walk away with a clear conscience knowing you did the right thing for both your child and the caregiver you hired.

Unfortunately, I am not going to tell you it's cool to let the nanny go after 1 day. I mean, it’s not like she did anything wrong.

Chill the f out. Seriously, take a deep breath and stop over analyzing. It's 1 week lady. You’re just worried maybe because you're a first time mom? It happens. Try not to overthink it.