Dang, people-do you not read the thread before posting?? (NP here) Yes, OP apologized, several times. Yes, she is going to keep FIL away from nanny from now on. No, she already said her FiL will NOT listen to reason, and I highly doubt he will take OP's words to heart (if the OP did as a PP suggested and told him what he is/is not allowed to do)...nor is it OP's job to be in charge of another human being who is, presumably, not very conscientious or considerate of others in the first place!

OP, you handled it as best you could and I think you sound like a wonderful, thoughtful employee. No need to worth about it any longer. Also, I love to know that my NF is thinking of me when I'm not there, and I love to get pics/texts about the kids! So I wouldn't listen to a PP who said otherwise, assuming you and your nanny have a good relationship (like it sounds like you do) and that she'd welcome the pictures like any normal person would.

The world will be such a better place when all these dinosaurs just die off already.

I think your expectation that your nanny should text you back immediately even on holidays and weekends and days off is a little extreme. That is her time and sending her texts and pictures and expecting a response during her off time is crossing a boundary.

She seems very level headed - probably just annoyed that you kept texting her on Easter.

You handled it very well OP. I seriously doubt your nanny would hold your FIL's rant against you personally. If she does, then that is HER bad, not yours.

You did all you could do and the ball is out of your court now.

In the future, if there are any get-togethers where your FIL will be present, make darn sure your nanny will not be there.
He sounds very rude to me and she doesn't need to be exposed to someone so brash and in your face.

Did you apologize to your nanny? If so, perhaps you can again, more profusely. Maybe she is sensitive and had her feelings hurt. Maybe she could be angry at you because she thinks you and your husband didn't do enough to stand up for her.

OP, I'm glad to hear you talked w/ your nanny. I think you need to calm down a bit, but I also think you need to do something more than just apologize.

I would talk to your FIL (or better yet - have your husband do it) and tell him that he is not to have political conversations with your nanny ever, especially during parties. Tell him that calling people socialists etc... is not ok for anyone who is a guest in your home (either to behave that way or to be treated that way) and if he can't respect that then you will be forced not to include him in parties.

I think it's totally unacceptable - no matter whom he treated that way, and I would do much more than just apologize for him.

Then tell your nanny that you took action. That would mean more to me than yet another apology.

Anonymous wrote:I will say that it would be best if you could keep nanny and FIL completely separate? Why would she be working when you are having a family gathering? Are you inviting her as a guest or is she watchig DD so that tou can play hostess or what?

Nanny wasn't working - she was a guest at my daughter's birthday party. My daughter always wants Nanny at her birthday, school events, dance recitals, etc and my FIL wants to be there as well. I'll just be vigilante about watching FIL and making sure he doesn't talk to Nanny from now on.