Anonymous wrote:I think you need to take a page - literally - from the program's playbook ... maybe espouse the level of tolerance for non-parents that DCPR is able to muster. Here is what it says on page 7:

"Nanny/Duty Parent Policy
In an effort to make Co-op available to all families, regardless of the employment status of the parents, the District policy is to allow nannies, or other primary caregivers (such as grandparents) to perform Co-op parent duties."

http://dpr.dc.gov/sites/default/files/dc/sites/dpr/publication/attachments/2013-2014%20Cooperative%20Play%20Program%20Parent%20and%20Child%20Manual.pdf

They need your money, genius. They'll say what they have to in order to get it. Doesn't mean what you're doing is right.

I think you need to take a page - literally - from the program's playbook ... maybe espouse the level of tolerance for non-parents that DCPR is able to muster. Here is what it says on page 7:

"Nanny/Duty Parent Policy
In an effort to make Co-op available to all families, regardless of the employment status of the parents, the District policy is to allow nannies, or other primary caregivers (such as grandparents) to perform Co-op parent duties."

http://dpr.dc.gov/sites/default/files/dc/sites/dpr/publication/attachments/2013-2014%20Cooperative%20Play%20Program%20Parent%20and%20Child%20Manual.pdf

Anonymous wrote:If the child is in the care of the nanny during the co-op hours, then it is the nanny's job to provide that service. If she does not want to, I would find another nanny or go to full-time day care. In my job, there is a classification of other duties. It is your job, you do it to maintain your job.

Please switch to full-time daycare.

Anonymous wrote:If the child is in the care of the nanny during the co-op hours, then it is the nanny's job to provide that service. If she does not want to, I would find another nanny or go to full-time day care. In my job, there is a classification of other duties. It is your job, you do it to maintain your job.

The nanny's job is to care for YOUR child, not 16 others. Coop duty is YOURS. Not sure why that's difficult to understand. What I don't understand is why you feel entitled to both nanny care and private preschool. If you can't afford both, then you can't afford both. Making one the responsibility of the other, so you can save a buck is really messed up. And not really fair to a lot of people (the other parents, your nanny, your child, and your relationship with your child), but then I'm sure you're only concerned with yourself.

If the child is in the care of the nanny during the co-op hours, then it is the nanny's job to provide that service. If she does not want to, I would find another nanny or go to full-time day care. In my job, there is a classification of other duties. It is your job, you do it to maintain your job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good grief. One of you parents just really have no interest in being parents do you? Please don't balk next time a nanny claims to be the primary caregiver. So many of us truly are, unfortunately.

A nanny is working because the parent is working. You really should consider another profession. Its not about not wanting to, but if you are required to be at work, you need to be at work. Not everyone has flexibility like you have to just take off and work what ever hours they choose. Its easy to grip about parents but maybe you should try it before you pass judgement. A parent has to put food on the table and a roof over the kids head, therefore they may not have the luxury to stay home. Can you afford to stay home if you have kids?

Sorry, but coops are for parents who don't have to work or their work schedule allows them to come in and be hands on and be involved. It's a communal effort to make these schools run, which is why they're 3x cheaper than regular preschools. Making excuses for why you deserve to send your child to a coop even though you're unavailable to volunteer just makes you look ridiculous and entitled. I've seen a lot of bazare things on this forum, but this really takes the cake. This goes beyond taking advantage of the nanny, this is just making yourself look like a complete ass.

No, its not. Many co-ops allow nanny's and others, such as grandparents. Ours did. Its an affordable option to allow preschool and keep the stability of the nanny. Otherwise, some families cannot pay for both. Ours allowed others to co-op for us. I had my mom do it several times when I either did not want to or could not. Several nanny's did it at our co-op and none seemed to have a problem with it. On your non-co-op days you get a break so there is a balance.

Why is it a nanny's job to do all the work of a co-op just so you can save money?

Paying for a nanny and preschool is very expensive. I would think the nanny would want to keep her full-time hours and one affordable way to do that is to have a reasonably priced preschool. Are you clueless about how much childcare costs? Do you have your own kids and know this stuff? I'd rather keep my nanny full-time and do a cheaper preschool than cut my nanny's hours or terminate her/lose her job for a full-time preschool. Both are unaffordable to most. Can you pay for a nanny and preschool on your nanny salary?

I can't pay for a nanny and full-time preschool and that is why I have chosen not to have children. It is expensive and time consuming, two things which I do not want to take on. Having a nanny is not a right and is the most expensive form of childcare on earth. If you can't afford both a nanny and preschool, you obviously have taken on too much financial responsibilty. A nanny's responsibility is to care for the health and well-being of your child while you are away. It is not her responsibilty to fulfill YOUR volunteer responsibilities in a program that you chose to save yourself money. It also isn't her responsibilty to care for 10-15 other children while she is taking on your volunteering obligations.
I am very aware of the costs of having a nanny and preschool are. It costs a lot to offer your child this type of care but that is the choice you have made. Don't put this on the shoulders of your nanny.

Oh please. You just come off as a sanctimonious self-martyring nutcase. Good call on not having kids though - I give you credit for that.

Really? That's your response?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good grief. One of you parents just really have no interest in being parents do you? Please don't balk next time a nanny claims to be the primary caregiver. So many of us truly are, unfortunately.

A nanny is working because the parent is working. You really should consider another profession. Its not about not wanting to, but if you are required to be at work, you need to be at work. Not everyone has flexibility like you have to just take off and work what ever hours they choose. Its easy to grip about parents but maybe you should try it before you pass judgement. A parent has to put food on the table and a roof over the kids head, therefore they may not have the luxury to stay home. Can you afford to stay home if you have kids?

Sorry, but coops are for parents who don't have to work or their work schedule allows them to come in and be hands on and be involved. It's a communal effort to make these schools run, which is why they're 3x cheaper than regular preschools. Making excuses for why you deserve to send your child to a coop even though you're unavailable to volunteer just makes you look ridiculous and entitled. I've seen a lot of bazare things on this forum, but this really takes the cake. This goes beyond taking advantage of the nanny, this is just making yourself look like a complete ass.

No, its not. Many co-ops allow nanny's and others, such as grandparents. Ours did. Its an affordable option to allow preschool and keep the stability of the nanny. Otherwise, some families cannot pay for both. Ours allowed others to co-op for us. I had my mom do it several times when I either did not want to or could not. Several nanny's did it at our co-op and none seemed to have a problem with it. On your non-co-op days you get a break so there is a balance.

Why is it a nanny's job to do all the work of a co-op just so you can save money?

Paying for a nanny and preschool is very expensive. I would think the nanny would want to keep her full-time hours and one affordable way to do that is to have a reasonably priced preschool. Are you clueless about how much childcare costs? Do you have your own kids and know this stuff? I'd rather keep my nanny full-time and do a cheaper preschool than cut my nanny's hours or terminate her/lose her job for a full-time preschool. Both are unaffordable to most. Can you pay for a nanny and preschool on your nanny salary?

I can't pay for a nanny and full-time preschool and that is why I have chosen not to have children. It is expensive and time consuming, two things which I do not want to take on. Having a nanny is not a right and is the most expensive form of childcare on earth. If you can't afford both a nanny and preschool, you obviously have taken on too much financial responsibilty. A nanny's responsibility is to care for the health and well-being of your child while you are away. It is not her responsibilty to fulfill YOUR volunteer responsibilities in a program that you chose to save yourself money. It also isn't her responsibilty to care for 10-15 other children while she is taking on your volunteering obligations.
I am very aware of the costs of having a nanny and preschool are. It costs a lot to offer your child this type of care but that is the choice you have made. Don't put this on the shoulders of your nanny.

Oh please. You just come off as a sanctimonious self-martyring nutcase. Good call on not having kids though - I give you credit for that.

I think she made good points, and I notice you could say nothing to refute them and had to resort to name calling. She's completely right that while preschool and nanny care are expensive, they are both also a choice. You've made a choice to have both luxuries, and there is something a bit messed up about putting the responsibility of making them affordable for you on your nanny. If you join a coop, the duties are yours. You're supposed to add to the community. Paying someone to go in your place is just the epitome of entitlement. "I want this and this, but can't afford both, so I'm going to skirt the rules, and foist my responsibility on others."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good grief. One of you parents just really have no interest in being parents do you? Please don't balk next time a nanny claims to be the primary caregiver. So many of us truly are, unfortunately.

A nanny is working because the parent is working. You really should consider another profession. Its not about not wanting to, but if you are required to be at work, you need to be at work. Not everyone has flexibility like you have to just take off and work what ever hours they choose. Its easy to grip about parents but maybe you should try it before you pass judgement. A parent has to put food on the table and a roof over the kids head, therefore they may not have the luxury to stay home. Can you afford to stay home if you have kids?

Sorry, but coops are for parents who don't have to work or their work schedule allows them to come in and be hands on and be involved. It's a communal effort to make these schools run, which is why they're 3x cheaper than regular preschools. Making excuses for why you deserve to send your child to a coop even though you're unavailable to volunteer just makes you look ridiculous and entitled. I've seen a lot of bazare things on this forum, but this really takes the cake. This goes beyond taking advantage of the nanny, this is just making yourself look like a complete ass.

No, its not. Many co-ops allow nanny's and others, such as grandparents. Ours did. Its an affordable option to allow preschool and keep the stability of the nanny. Otherwise, some families cannot pay for both. Ours allowed others to co-op for us. I had my mom do it several times when I either did not want to or could not. Several nanny's did it at our co-op and none seemed to have a problem with it. On your non-co-op days you get a break so there is a balance.

Why is it a nanny's job to do all the work of a co-op just so you can save money?

Paying for a nanny and preschool is very expensive. I would think the nanny would want to keep her full-time hours and one affordable way to do that is to have a reasonably priced preschool. Are you clueless about how much childcare costs? Do you have your own kids and know this stuff? I'd rather keep my nanny full-time and do a cheaper preschool than cut my nanny's hours or terminate her/lose her job for a full-time preschool. Both are unaffordable to most. Can you pay for a nanny and preschool on your nanny salary?

I can't pay for a nanny and full-time preschool and that is why I have chosen not to have children. It is expensive and time consuming, two things which I do not want to take on. Having a nanny is not a right and is the most expensive form of childcare on earth. If you can't afford both a nanny and preschool, you obviously have taken on too much financial responsibilty. A nanny's responsibility is to care for the health and well-being of your child while you are away. It is not her responsibilty to fulfill YOUR volunteer responsibilities in a program that you chose to save yourself money. It also isn't her responsibilty to care for 10-15 other children while she is taking on your volunteering obligations.
I am very aware of the costs of having a nanny and preschool are. It costs a lot to offer your child this type of care but that is the choice you have made. Don't put this on the shoulders of your nanny.

Oh please. You just come off as a sanctimonious self-martyring nutcase. Good call on not having kids though - I give you credit for that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good grief. One of you parents just really have no interest in being parents do you? Please don't balk next time a nanny claims to be the primary caregiver. So many of us truly are, unfortunately.

A nanny is working because the parent is working. You really should consider another profession. Its not about not wanting to, but if you are required to be at work, you need to be at work. Not everyone has flexibility like you have to just take off and work what ever hours they choose. Its easy to grip about parents but maybe you should try it before you pass judgement. A parent has to put food on the table and a roof over the kids head, therefore they may not have the luxury to stay home. Can you afford to stay home if you have kids?

Sorry, but coops are for parents who don't have to work or their work schedule allows them to come in and be hands on and be involved. It's a communal effort to make these schools run, which is why they're 3x cheaper than regular preschools. Making excuses for why you deserve to send your child to a coop even though you're unavailable to volunteer just makes you look ridiculous and entitled. I've seen a lot of bazare things on this forum, but this really takes the cake. This goes beyond taking advantage of the nanny, this is just making yourself look like a complete ass.

No, its not. Many co-ops allow nanny's and others, such as grandparents. Ours did. Its an affordable option to allow preschool and keep the stability of the nanny. Otherwise, some families cannot pay for both. Ours allowed others to co-op for us. I had my mom do it several times when I either did not want to or could not. Several nanny's did it at our co-op and none seemed to have a problem with it. On your non-co-op days you get a break so there is a balance.

Why is it a nanny's job to do all the work of a co-op just so you can save money?

Paying for a nanny and preschool is very expensive. I would think the nanny would want to keep her full-time hours and one affordable way to do that is to have a reasonably priced preschool. Are you clueless about how much childcare costs? Do you have your own kids and know this stuff? I'd rather keep my nanny full-time and do a cheaper preschool than cut my nanny's hours or terminate her/lose her job for a full-time preschool. Both are unaffordable to most. Can you pay for a nanny and preschool on your nanny salary?

I can't pay for a nanny and full-time preschool and that is why I have chosen not to have children. It is expensive and time consuming, two things which I do not want to take on. Having a nanny is not a right and is the most expensive form of childcare on earth. If you can't afford both a nanny and preschool, you obviously have taken on too much financial responsibilty. A nanny's responsibility is to care for the health and well-being of your child while you are away. It is not her responsibilty to fulfill YOUR volunteer responsibilities in a program that you chose to save yourself money. It also isn't her responsibilty to care for 10-15 other children while she is taking on your volunteering obligations.
I am very aware of the costs of having a nanny and preschool are. It costs a lot to offer your child this type of care but that is the choice you have made. Don't put this on the shoulders of your nanny.

Full time working co-op mom here. Our co-op offers a "half" co-op option so you have to work 6 times a year. My husband and I split the duties. I would never dream of asking our nanny to cover for me. I can't quite articulate why but I know for sure that my son would prefer we be there (if only because all the other moms come), I feel like it would be too much to ask our nanny to do (though she would happily) and that it's out of line for what co-op schools are all about, which is essentially family involvement. I think I would think it was really weird if someone sent their nanny to co-op or chaperone a field trip.

And to the Pps posting about how expensive it is,
Sure, but just bc something is expensive doesn't mean you can do whatever you want. And to the pp who thinks it's bc moms want to make other mom friends - I don't even begin to get where you got that from. It's not like anyone is making friends when they're the only one in the classroom co-oping. How strange.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good grief. One of you parents just really have no interest in being parents do you? Please don't balk next time a nanny claims to be the primary caregiver. So many of us truly are, unfortunately.

A nanny is working because the parent is working. You really should consider another profession. Its not about not wanting to, but if you are required to be at work, you need to be at work. Not everyone has flexibility like you have to just take off and work what ever hours they choose. Its easy to grip about parents but maybe you should try it before you pass judgement. A parent has to put food on the table and a roof over the kids head, therefore they may not have the luxury to stay home. Can you afford to stay home if you have kids?

Sorry, but coops are for parents who don't have to work or their work schedule allows them to come in and be hands on and be involved. It's a communal effort to make these schools run, which is why they're 3x cheaper than regular preschools. Making excuses for why you deserve to send your child to a coop even though you're unavailable to volunteer just makes you look ridiculous and entitled. I've seen a lot of bazare things on this forum, but this really takes the cake. This goes beyond taking advantage of the nanny, this is just making yourself look like a complete ass.

No, its not. Many co-ops allow nanny's and others, such as grandparents. Ours did. Its an affordable option to allow preschool and keep the stability of the nanny. Otherwise, some families cannot pay for both. Ours allowed others to co-op for us. I had my mom do it several times when I either did not want to or could not. Several nanny's did it at our co-op and none seemed to have a problem with it. On your non-co-op days you get a break so there is a balance.

Why is it a nanny's job to do all the work of a co-op just so you can save money?

Paying for a nanny and preschool is very expensive. I would think the nanny would want to keep her full-time hours and one affordable way to do that is to have a reasonably priced preschool. Are you clueless about how much childcare costs? Do you have your own kids and know this stuff? I'd rather keep my nanny full-time and do a cheaper preschool than cut my nanny's hours or terminate her/lose her job for a full-time preschool. Both are unaffordable to most. Can you pay for a nanny and preschool on your nanny salary?

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, PP, but I just don't buy the argument that a parent provides a special type of fairy dust that a grandparent or a nanny is not capable of providing. My child adores her nanny, and I think that my child, or any child in a co-op for that matter, would be super lucky to have her participate. And I've met plenty of awesome nannies and grandparents whom I think could provide the same. Its pretty great when children are surrounded by a community of people who care deeply for them - and not all those people are parents. Now if this is a case of moms wanting to use the co-op to find other mom friends, and don't want to interact with nannies, grandparents or other caregivers, just come on out and say it. Don't hide behind other arguments.

I did it for socialization for my child. We did it for a year and moved on as I wanted a more structured program. I had no interest in making mom friends as I have plenty. Everyone was very friendly to my mom and the nannies when we co-oped. We had a lazy teacher so we did far more of her work than she did which was why we left. I wasn't ok with sending my 2 year old for 3 hours and if I was not co-oping or one of a few others, my kid had a nasty diaper (they refused to put him on the potty) and his pants were soaked and no one noticed. Kids socialize very differently with adults than with other kids. Both experiences are equally important. At age two, you can get it elsewhere but at 3-4, it is good to have them in some kind of part-time structured program.

Sorry, PP, but I just don't buy the argument that a parent provides a special type of fairy dust that a grandparent or a nanny is not capable of providing. My child adores her nanny, and I think that my child, or any child in a co-op for that matter, would be super lucky to have her participate. And I've met plenty of awesome nannies and grandparents whom I think could provide the same. Its pretty great when children are surrounded by a community of people who care deeply for them - and not all those people are parents. Now if this is a case of moms wanting to use the co-op to find other mom friends, and don't want to interact with nannies, grandparents or other caregivers, just come on out and say it. Don't hide behind other arguments.

Anonymous wrote:19:37, why would you say that? If a parent needs to show up to work 5 days a week, does that render them uninterested in their children or a bad parent? Our nanny is one of the primary caregivers in our child's life, and I couldn't be more pleased about it. I spend exactly 10 hours outside the house Monday through Friday; I have no problems with my choice to be a working parent, and get an hour with my child in the morning, 3 hours in the evening, and all day Saturday and Sunday - it works for us. Your disdain for working parents is strange. And, why shouldn't a parent broach the topic with their nanny, and go ahead with it if all parties are interested? The only reason I can think of for your bizarre attitude is that you must have worked for bosses who treated you poorly...

Working 5 days a week doesn't make you a bad parent, it simply makes you a bad candidate for a preschool environment like a coop where the expectation is that parents take a more hands on role in the running of the school. They are cheaper because there is less need for hired labor. I don't have any disdain for working parents. I am shocked and annoyed by the level of entitlement and/or laziness that would allow someone to think it okay to reap the benefits of a coop, while putting the work on their nanny. Forget about whether its fair to your nanny, what about your kid? Everyone else's parents spend time with them at school, but mommy/daddy never do. This sends a message to your kid, whether you intend for it to or not. They are not as important as work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good grief. One of you parents just really have no interest in being parents do you? Please don't balk next time a nanny claims to be the primary caregiver. So many of us truly are, unfortunately.

A nanny is working because the parent is working. You really should consider another profession. Its not about not wanting to, but if you are required to be at work, you need to be at work. Not everyone has flexibility like you have to just take off and work what ever hours they choose. Its easy to grip about parents but maybe you should try it before you pass judgement. A parent has to put food on the table and a roof over the kids head, therefore they may not have the luxury to stay home. Can you afford to stay home if you have kids?

Sorry, but coops are for parents who don't have to work or their work schedule allows them to come in and be hands on and be involved. It's a communal effort to make these schools run, which is why they're 3x cheaper than regular preschools. Making excuses for why you deserve to send your child to a coop even though you're unavailable to volunteer just makes you look ridiculous and entitled. I've seen a lot of bazare things on this forum, but this really takes the cake. This goes beyond taking advantage of the nanny, this is just making yourself look like a complete ass.

No, its not. Many co-ops allow nanny's and others, such as grandparents. Ours did. Its an affordable option to allow preschool and keep the stability of the nanny. Otherwise, some families cannot pay for both. Ours allowed others to co-op for us. I had my mom do it several times when I either did not want to or could not. Several nanny's did it at our co-op and none seemed to have a problem with it. On your non-co-op days you get a break so there is a balance.

Why is it a nanny's job to do all the work of a co-op just so you can save money?