I think it is fine to stop paying her sick days beyond the 5 days however she may be someone who gets sick easily and then you also have to be okay with her coming to work sick and potentially getting your daughter sick.

You can't tell her to stay at home if sick and not pay her. A few months will probably tell you how valid her sick claims were. If she keeps coming to work sick - they were real, if her health seems very improved - they were probably mental health days. Twelve hour days 5 days a week is a pretty exhausting week though.

Thank you all for your input. I think we need to stop paying her for sick time. No job in the entire world has unlimited sick time!

It's not that we are naive. When someone is looking after your kid, you don't want to do anything to upset them! But I think we have gone above and beyond what is typical in these situations.

When she's sick, she only takes one day off? So she shows up the next day and is sniffly? or coughing or what? Is there any chance she's calling in sick hungover or something knowing she'll get that day paid. The trip to Vegas and the age just made me wonder.

+100 OP you sound very nice but also very naive. Your nanny is taking mental health days and since you pay her for all the time she takes off she has no incentive not to do this. In fact, you have created an incentive for her to take the days off.

Someone with a "weak constitution" would be out for several days not a day every month.

You have 2 options.

1. You could just fire her. If she's doing this, she is manipulative and she will continue to screw around with you anyway. She doesn't have a good work ethic and you'll be dealing with something else. Since you are nice and naive, she's figured this out and it will be more difficult for you to spot problems before they've gone for a long time.

2. You start being an employer who is direct rather than someone she can take advantage of every month. Tell her that she has used all her sick time and any further time is unpaid. You can let her know that a continued pattern of absences even if unpaid will result in termination.

OP, I know that its difficult to deal with, but you seem to believe that she really is ill. How would you feel if, instead of calling out when sick, she came to work sneezing and hacking? There are some MBs who would view that as irresponsible, especially if they or the kids caught the bug. If you'd rather she muster through a cold, maybe it would help if you made the expectation clear and let her know she won't be angrily turned away at the door.

I think you need to sit down and chat to her about it. Say that you understand that people get sick but she seems to pick up a lot of bugs. Explain you feel you have been generous so far but now its becoming an issue and you will be reverting back to the agreement of 5 sick days a year. Any more than that and it will be unpaid. My guess is the sick time will quickly become less

I am the OP.
I can ask her if there is anything we can do to make her life easier and improve the situation - like maybe she wants to reduce her hours.

Our nanny was out on Friday with a sore throat and she just called me today (Sunday) to say she will most likely not make it in on Monday as well (sounded really hoarse) and she said her chest hurt. But she said her aunt could cover for her on Monday (this is the first time she has offered back up).

Anonymous wrote:Why is she sick so often? Poorly nourished? Sleep deprived? Stressed? You may not know for sure, OP, but what's your hunch?

Everyone has a different threshold for how sick is sick enough to call in sick. This nanny's is probably just lower than average.

Maybe working 10 hours a day and the long commutes is taking a toll, I work 10.5 hours a day, almost no commute and I'm stressed at the end of each day and exhausted by the end of the week. Can you ask her if she wants to work less hours/can you offer her more time off? Assuming she's paid hourly...she would, in turn, make less.

I posted earlier as I was sick at work. I know that my bug was given to me by them. I often get sick weeks after everyone is better. Both parents had meetings they could not get out of. So I did work.

I use to do an hour+ commute for years. I think out of all my years of nannying I have called out 5 times. 2 were for a family that gave me a weird bug that I couldn't shake. Other than that I come in.

When she's sick, she only takes one day off? So she shows up the next day and is sniffly? or coughing or what? Is there any chance she's calling in sick hungover or something knowing she'll get that day paid. The trip to Vegas and the age just made me wonder.