Anonymous
Post 02/25/2014 10:23     Subject: Pregnant nanny with restrictions -- what can I do to be fair?

Thx for the update OP. It sounds like you are handling this well, and thoughtfully.

Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 02/24/2014 19:15     Subject: Pregnant nanny with restrictions -- what can I do to be fair?

OP here. We came home early today and talked. She had, of course, been planning on this income, so she just basically repeated that she wanted to stay on. She also said she hadn't had contractions today.

We explained why we were worried that staying on would turn out to be a bad idea, and that we weren't ok with three months of the kids stuck at home. So, we suggested that she work through the end of this week and see how it goes. If she's feeling like everything is ok, we'll keep going. If she's not, or if we feel like the kids are suffering, we'll pay out her vacation and severance.

I think that as long as I don't contest her application for unemployment, they should honor it. I would just tell them if someone asked that our needs had changed. Oh, and since someone was so "concerned," of course we're paying on the books.

My gut feeling is that she will decide to leave this week. When my husband and I talked about it, we realized there was really no advantage to her leaving abruptly today vs. next week (or two months from now); either way we'll need to use temp coverage.

Thank you to everyone! You helped me calm down and think through the options.
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2014 22:20     Subject: Pregnant nanny with restrictions -- what can I do to be fair?

If op came on and said she was going to keep nanny on full time all the people saying she's unfair for letting her go would complain she's horrible for making her work. Some people are never happy and need to find something to complain about
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2014 19:17     Subject: Pregnant nanny with restrictions -- what can I do to be fair?

It's actually hard to collect unemployment in this situation and technically should be disability. OP would have to lie as to why they had to let her go. If she tells the truth, then the nanny is not eligible for unemployment because technically she is not "ready and able to work".

Now after nanny gives birth and can return to work, she can file and collect unemployment.

My friend went through this when she was put on ver strict bedrest at 20 weeks.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2014 22:07     Subject: Pregnant nanny with restrictions -- what can I do to be fair?

The unemployment is a good idea. Lay her off don't fire though.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2014 19:45     Subject: Pregnant nanny with restrictions -- what can I do to be fair?

Maybe the nanny would prefer to collect unemployment as well. Hope OP is paying her on the books, otherwise she's got a *real* problem to deal with: IRS.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2014 19:03     Subject: Pregnant nanny with restrictions -- what can I do to be fair?

OP here -- I also had a lot of B-Hs with both pregnancies, starting early in the 2nd trimester. Did a lot of NSTs because of them. I also picked up my kid, ran after him, etc.. BUT, they are my kids. I completely understand why a nervous FTM whose doctor recommends she not lift heavy things would take that as a mandate rather than a "would be nice" kind of thing.

Also, as her employer, I would worry that if she went into early labor, she would blame me, and we would all always wonder whether it would have happened if she were off her feet. I'm also not sure what we could do if she felt she needed to go in to the doctor in the middle of the day for monitoring like I did on several occasions.

She was more open this evening about being surprised by the doctor's recommendations and agreed to think about what she wants to do, and I told her we would meet tomorrow after work. She didn't say much, but I think she was also kind of shocked this morning (she had just come from her appointment, and apparently thought they would give her medicine to stop the contractions). I asked her to think about what she would do ideally and what she will be comfortable with in terms of work. I'm going to do the same, since I'm now more nervous about having her continue than I was. Like I said, I know how hard it is!

I was thinking part time might work since it would be less stress and less physical labor, which might allow her to get enough rest to prevent much in the way of contractions. On the other hand, paying out her vacation and severance and allowing her to get unemployment might be better all around.

I don't like being a boss! I wish we had state disability like they do in California for pre-natal leave.

Anonymous
Post 02/21/2014 14:55     Subject: Pregnant nanny with restrictions -- what can I do to be fair?

Anonymous wrote:I hope your employers are as understanding and considerate next time you bitches are pregnant.


If I couldn't do my job for 4 months they'd have every right to fire me. How about instead of criticizing everyone you give some constructive ideas for how to make this work since that's what OP actually asked. Or do you prefer to just attack people anonymously? What if one of OPs children climbs on something and is in danger of falling? Should the nanny just let it happen because she can't pick him up?
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2014 14:52     Subject: Pregnant nanny with restrictions -- what can I do to be fair?

Anonymous wrote:Temp care is not hard to hard to find at all. It can be expensive, but it is quite easy to do.

And I think the ill will directed at OP is completely inappropriate. It is not her fault that her employee is no longer able to do the job and OP is not wanting to have to fire her.

But the nanny can't do this work - it would put her at risk. It would also be potentially dangerous and harmful to OP's kids.

It is entirely possible to have a tough situation that is no one's fault.


Agree with this completely. It's a really unfortunate situation but if OPs nanny can't pick up the children she can't possibly do the job. For those of you condemning OP, maybe you could try giving her some actual advice. She came here looking for a solution because she wants to be fair to the nanny.

I really think your nanny should have thought of some ideas for how to make this work before coming to you, it isn't fair for her to put it all on you.

I know this isn't what you asked but on a slightly related note I just had my 3rd DC and had TONS of Braxton-Hicks throughout the pregnancy (starting around 20 weeks) and was even admitted to the hospital briefly for IV fluids when they got more intense. I have 2 other children under 3 and there was no way I could avoid picking them up etc and my OB told me I absolutely didn't need to avoid it. He said some people just have a more sensitive uterus and that's why I had so many contractions but it wasn't going to put me into early labor. I continued to have a lot of contractions but didn't go into actual labor until after my due date. Since I know I may get attacked for this I want to be clear, I'm not saying OPs nanny shouldn't listen to her OB and OP should respect what the OB says.