nannydebsays wrote:
The benefits are good, and the only change I would make there is giving your LI free access to everything in the kitchen within certain set house rules, and if she wants to drink pellegrino or eat brie and drink lots of wine that's on her $.
I agree, OP, that as you said, it would be completely fine and normal to say to the live-in that she's welcome to anything in your (presumably well-stocked) kitchen, but anything she wants other what's there is on her. In reality, you'll probably learn what she likes and stock a few extras. But don't go down the "add anything to our grocery list" thing unless you're prepared to be buying literally anything she wants.
We had an au pair that preferred to drink mineral water and would drink two of the big bottles every single day. I would buy these cases of it for $15.99, and it would be gone in a few days. Drove me crazy, particularly since she was a pretty terrible au pair anyway. We now say free access to anything in the kitchen and we'll buy additional staples, but special drinks, alcohol, and junk food are on her.