Time for new nanny

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is tough because you have invested three years into this relationship already, and finding the right nanny for your family is tough. Assuming she is a good caregiver to your child I recommend a talk with your nanny outlining your concerns with specific examples. I would also amend your contract to address any resolutions that come out of the discussion. As previous posters have said, unlimited sick days doesn't make sense (we give our nanny three days and whatever she doesn't use we pay her for). I would recommend a monthly discussion to review progress toward the improvements you need to see. I give it less than a 50% chance but if she is good with your child it is worth trying to salvage the relationship. As an aside, she may not be a great nanny for older kids and starts to lose interest in the job. Some nannies really are better with babies.

This is OP. What is the reason it would be tough to find the right nanny for my family? Are you saying nannies do not like working more than one kid at a time? Or because my kids are 3 and 1?

She is actually good with the kids and that is why she is with us. She is an older lady. When she started with us she was amazing. She helped us a lot and I could not be happier. Since then she was hit by a couple of major personal losses including a death of a family member. She was also getting more and more comfortable with our family and getting older herself. She has been nannying for the past 15 years and finally came to realization that she does not really have money saved up for her old age and no longer has the family structure to support her. She is generally not in good spirits because of that. As a fellow human person I feel for her situation and try to help. I do feel though that she has a certain resentment to us since she perceives we are happy and living well

OP, I took from the pp that it is tough to find the right nanny. There just aren't a lot of great nannies, and even when you do find a great nanny, the family and nanny aren't always a great fit.

As a nanny, I do not discuss my finances with my employers. I think what this woman is doing is emotionally blackmailing you with her woes. Yes, it is the right thing to treat people as we want to be treated, but you also have those who will take advantage of others. You are not responsible for her not saving enough for retirement. It is nice that you want to help her, but you are not responsible for her actions.

At this point, she is taking advantage of your goodness. It is like any relationship, it started out great, but then the cracks in the relationship start showing. And I hear you saying she used to be great, but now it is different. You can talk to her and see if things change, but if the woman is no longer meeting your needs and is now becoming a drain, it is time to move on. Stop living in the past of how well she used to be and ask yourself if she is still a great fit for your family. A nanny should be helpful to a family, and not a burden.

Anonymous wrote:This is tough because you have invested three years into this relationship already, and finding the right nanny for your family is tough. Assuming she is a good caregiver to your child I recommend a talk with your nanny outlining your concerns with specific examples. I would also amend your contract to address any resolutions that come out of the discussion. As previous posters have said, unlimited sick days doesn't make sense (we give our nanny three days and whatever she doesn't use we pay her for). I would recommend a monthly discussion to review progress toward the improvements you need to see. I give it less than a 50% chance but if she is good with your child it is worth trying to salvage the relationship. As an aside, she may not be a great nanny for older kids and starts to lose interest in the job. Some nannies really are better with babies.

This is OP. What is the reason it would be tough to find the right nanny for my family? Are you saying nannies do not like working more than one kid at a time? Or because my kids are 3 and 1?

She is actually good with the kids and that is why she is with us. She is an older lady. When she started with us she was amazing. She helped us a lot and I could not be happier. Since then she was hit by a couple of major personal losses including a death of a family member. She was also getting more and more comfortable with our family and getting older herself. She has been nannying for the past 15 years and finally came to realization that she does not really have money saved up for her old age and no longer has the family structure to support her. She is generally not in good spirits because of that. As a fellow human person I feel for her situation and try to help. I do feel though that she has a certain resentment to us since she perceives we are happy and living well

This is tough because you have invested three years into this relationship already, and finding the right nanny for your family is tough. Assuming she is a good caregiver to your child I recommend a talk with your nanny outlining your concerns with specific examples. I would also amend your contract to address any resolutions that come out of the discussion. As previous posters have said, unlimited sick days doesn't make sense (we give our nanny three days and whatever she doesn't use we pay her for). I would recommend a monthly discussion to review progress toward the improvements you need to see. I give it less than a 50% chance but if she is good with your child it is worth trying to salvage the relationship. As an aside, she may not be a great nanny for older kids and starts to lose interest in the job. Some nannies really are better with babies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My hubs and I found a temp nanny( 7 months) until daycare opens up. We did 3 trial days which all went fabulous! Then she started work last week. She has worked a total of 5 days with the holidays and what not. She has been wonderful with my little girl. She is very proactive, responsible, does extra and my daughter loves her and is already attaching.
Today she was at my home for about 2 hours while she emailed in a very important meeting. I had to come home. She said she had a cyst rupture. She did look in pain and ill but my boss basically ripped me a new one. I just texted her and told her we didn't need her anymore.
She got upset because we fired her. I am wondering if it was the right decision now? Is it wrong to fire her over this?
P.s. she was late the day before due to the weather.

This is cold-blooded. She showed up to work, AND then had a health issue pop up, and she is terminated because she informed you?... I think you know the answer to your question, but I'm sure on this site, you'll be sure to find some parents to pat your back, and say "well done.". I'm hoping you never fall ill on the job.

The poster you quoted is a troll. Jeff already deleted her attempt at having her own post.

What did the deleted post say?

Almost exactly what is above.

I would fire her and with the new nanny I would try to have better boundaries.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My hubs and I found a temp nanny( 7 months) until daycare opens up. We did 3 trial days which all went fabulous! Then she started work last week. She has worked a total of 5 days with the holidays and what not. She has been wonderful with my little girl. She is very proactive, responsible, does extra and my daughter loves her and is already attaching.

Today she was at my home for about 2 hours while she emailed in a very important meeting. I had to come home. She said she had a cyst rupture. She did look in pain and ill but my boss basically ripped me a new one. I just texted her and told her we didn't need her anymore.

She got upset because we fired her. I am wondering if it was the right decision now? Is it wrong to fire her over this?

P.s. she was late the day before due to the weather.

This is cold-blooded. She showed up to work, AND then had a health issue pop up, and she is terminated because she informed you?... I think you know the answer to your question, but I'm sure on this site, you'll be sure to find some parents to pat your back, and say "well done.". I'm hoping you never fall ill on the job.

The poster you quoted is a troll. Jeff already deleted her attempt at having her own post.

What did the deleted post say?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My hubs and I found a temp nanny( 7 months) until daycare opens up. We did 3 trial days which all went fabulous! Then she started work last week. She has worked a total of 5 days with the holidays and what not. She has been wonderful with my little girl. She is very proactive, responsible, does extra and my daughter loves her and is already attaching.

Today she was at my home for about 2 hours while she emailed in a very important meeting. I had to come home. She said she had a cyst rupture. She did look in pain and ill but my boss basically ripped me a new one. I just texted her and told her we didn't need her anymore.

She got upset because we fired her. I am wondering if it was the right decision now? Is it wrong to fire her over this?

P.s. she was late the day before due to the weather.

This is cold-blooded. She showed up to work, AND then had a health issue pop up, and she is terminated because she informed you?... I think you know the answer to your question, but I'm sure on this site, you'll be sure to find some parents to pat your back, and say "well done.". I'm hoping you never fall ill on the job.

The poster you quoted is a troll. Jeff already deleted her attempt at having her own post.

okay...good to know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My hubs and I found a temp nanny( 7 months) until daycare opens up. We did 3 trial days which all went fabulous! Then she started work last week. She has worked a total of 5 days with the holidays and what not. She has been wonderful with my little girl. She is very proactive, responsible, does extra and my daughter loves her and is already attaching.

Today she was at my home for about 2 hours while she emailed in a very important meeting. I had to come home. She said she had a cyst rupture. She did look in pain and ill but my boss basically ripped me a new one. I just texted her and told her we didn't need her anymore.

She got upset because we fired her. I am wondering if it was the right decision now? Is it wrong to fire her over this?

P.s. she was late the day before due to the weather.

This is cold-blooded. She showed up to work, AND then had a health issue pop up, and she is terminated because she informed you?... I think you know the answer to your question, but I'm sure on this site, you'll be sure to find some parents to pat your back, and say "well done.". I'm hoping you never fall ill on the job.

The poster you quoted is a troll. Jeff already deleted her attempt at having her own post.

Anonymous wrote:My hubs and I found a temp nanny( 7 months) until daycare opens up. We did 3 trial days which all went fabulous! Then she started work last week. She has worked a total of 5 days with the holidays and what not. She has been wonderful with my little girl. She is very proactive, responsible, does extra and my daughter loves her and is already attaching.

Today she was at my home for about 2 hours while she emailed in a very important meeting. I had to come home. She said she had a cyst rupture. She did look in pain and ill but my boss basically ripped me a new one. I just texted her and told her we didn't need her anymore.

She got upset because we fired her. I am wondering if it was the right decision now? Is it wrong to fire her over this?

P.s. she was late the day before due to the weather.

This is cold-blooded. She showed up to work, AND then had a health issue pop up, and she is terminated because she informed you?... I think you know the answer to your question, but I'm sure on this site, you'll be sure to find some parents to pat your back, and say "well done.". I'm hoping you never fall ill on the job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem here is you. You have been way too generous with her and now she is walking all over you. She knows she doesn't have to work and she will still get paid. She knows she can leave early and still get paid.
Sit down and talk with her and let her know there are going to be changes. If she doesn't like the changes you make, then let her go. But you need to start giving a set amount of sick days and stick to it. Otherwise, this will keep happening.

You are probably right. I my defense though I was just trying to be human. I work at a company where I am treated with some flexibility and understanding and I wanted to extend that to our nanny. I mean having two small kids I end up missing time in the office more than other coworkers without kids and my managers/clients been OK with me working from home as long as things get done on time. the problem with this nanny I think is a weird sense of entitlement. She is not from here originally and some times looks at things differently

Yes, that's an issue. On one hand it may be exotic to get a foreigner. But on the other hand you don't really have a clue what you may be getting, unless you know her culture.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem here is you. You have been way too generous with her and now she is walking all over you. She knows she doesn't have to work and she will still get paid. She knows she can leave early and still get paid.
Sit down and talk with her and let her know there are going to be changes. If she doesn't like the changes you make, then let her go. But you need to start giving a set amount of sick days and stick to it. Otherwise, this will keep happening.

You are probably right. I my defense though I was just trying to be human. I work at a company where I am treated with some flexibility and understanding and I wanted to extend that to our nanny. I mean having two small kids I end up missing time in the office more than other coworkers without kids and my managers/clients been OK with me working from home as long as things get done on time. the problem with this nanny I think is a weird sense of entitlement. She is not from here originally and some times looks at things differently

your company gave you flexibility but they still want the job done. if you leave early we need to work during the night to make up for the time. your nanny is getting the job done. unlimited paid sick time is ridiculous. I think the other posters are right, you gave her way to much and she realized that she can get more and more. you should have given her the bonus she deserved based on her performance, not a lot of money she needed to pay her debts. now she thinks she can make her problems yours whenever she has one, and there will be more (repairs to the house, sick relative at home and so on, there are tons of posts of people who started lending money to their nannies and learned that often was a never ending string of requests). you can be a very decent human being but still keep the relationship a professional one. it is probably too difficult now to dial back but you can try to talk to her and see what happens. if it does not work, find a new nanny. but next time do not make the same mistake. be nice and fair but do not let the nanny walk over you, and if there is a problem, talk to her right away, do not let things go on until you cannot tolerate it any longer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem here is you. You have been way too generous with her and now she is walking all over you. She knows she doesn't have to work and she will still get paid. She knows she can leave early and still get paid.
Sit down and talk with her and let her know there are going to be changes. If she doesn't like the changes you make, then let her go. But you need to start giving a set amount of sick days and stick to it. Otherwise, this will keep happening.

You are probably right. I my defense though I was just trying to be human. I work at a company where I am treated with some flexibility and understanding and I wanted to extend that to our nanny. I mean having two small kids I end up missing time in the office more than other coworkers without kids and my managers/clients been OK with me working from home as long as things get done on time. the problem with this nanny I think is a weird sense of entitlement. She is not from here originally and some times looks at things differently

Here's where you went wrong, you hired a nanny who apparently cannot commute to and from work on her own and has unlimited sick days. Find a nanny who can get to work on her own without reinbursment, its a job and if they want to keep it they need to find a way to get there. Then limit the sick days to 5 a year and extra are unpaid period. You can be generous and pay her if she has a major illness that requires serious medical intervention. I've gotten unlimited sick day in prior positions and always only used one or two a year, never have I taken multiple days off because I was sick.

By the way banks are opened on Saturdays and with the new apps you can scan your check on your phone to deposit it. Her being able to get to a bank is not your problem.

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem here is you. You have been way too generous with her and now she is walking all over you. She knows she doesn't have to work and she will still get paid. She knows she can leave early and still get paid.
Sit down and talk with her and let her know there are going to be changes. If she doesn't like the changes you make, then let her go. But you need to start giving a set amount of sick days and stick to it. Otherwise, this will keep happening.

You are probably right. I my defense though I was just trying to be human. I work at a company where I am treated with some flexibility and understanding and I wanted to extend that to our nanny. I mean having two small kids I end up missing time in the office more than other coworkers without kids and my managers/clients been OK with me working from home as long as things get done on time. the problem with this nanny I think is a weird sense of entitlement. She is not from here originally and some times looks at things differently

You need a new nanny, OP.