OP, take the emotions out of the responses when you read them. In all honesty, all the answers were actually very nice for DCUM standards!!!

For what it's worth, your English is wonderful, and you are articulate and communication is key with au pairs. That is the only - only! complaint I have with mine, which can lead to more because she does not understand my written policies, and it is my fault for not wanting to confront her on some of her mistakes because otherwise she is so wonderful and I can take some faults in return for how diligent, loving, and generous she has been for our family. (there - a smiley for you).

That said, I definitely limited my search to someone who has not just "babysat", but also worked full time in child care at least for a few months. I also only will interview au pairs who have lived alone away from the family for some time so that they are independent enough to come to a new country without collapsing from the change.

Best of luck - polish up that application with those characteristics that people have advised on throughout, don't take any words too harshly or seriously, and come with an open mind and flexibility to adapt to a new family and environment.

I don't want to sound mean towards anyone. I'm an honest person who tells her opinion very clearly and I admit at the time I may have overreacted. I still think though that you can not judge a person based on how she uses smileys. Apparently some people think that and that's fine.

Thank you sincerely for all the answers, I realized that I would really need to but a lot of effort in to this and right now I don't unfortunately have the time for that.

I was just a bit taken back because this wasn't my au pair application. I was just wondering if I was on the right track and what it needs to be an au pair. I really got some great helpful answers.

I apologize if I was out of line at times. but hey that's life we all learn from our mistakes.

All the best for everyone!

-OP

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I know. I just felt a little bit attacked. Maybe the whole au pair thing isn't for me then, but I won't change my opinion that some of the comments were ruder than necessary. I am who I am and I will always be myself no matter what.

This board can be a little rough around th edges, yes, but you weren't attacked - host parents who are actually in the trenches looking for au pairs told you what they look for. You may read those and realize that the au pair program isn't really what you thought it would be and it's not for you. That's totally fine - it's really really not for everyone. I think most au pair candidates actually have no idea what they're really getting into. But if you're still interested, I hope you'll take the comments at face value and work toward some of the things we suggested. It's great that you know who you are and that you know you're hardworking, but surely you understand that simply telling people that isn't going to be enough? Truly, I wish you all the best.

OP, I don't think you were being attacked here, but you were getting candid responses from people who have hired au pairs so can tell you what the candidate pool actually looks like.

Apparently you don't have the experience to be competitive at the moment - that isn't an attack, just a reality. You asked for people's opinions and you got them.

Your defensive reaction to it is natural, especially given that you are 18. In 20 years you'll look back at this with very different eyes, but in the meantime if being an au pair is something you want to seriously consider then you need to respect the feedback you're getting.

Or, as you say, perhaps it simply isn't for you.

Yeah I know. I just felt a little bit attacked. Maybe the whole au pair thing isn't for me then, but I won't change my opinion that some of the comments were ruder than necessary. I am who I am and I will always be myself no matter what.