Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, we all want Alice, but no one here can find that dear sweet lady who does it all, -with a smile!

There is a whole range of providers between the warm-body, DCUM, nanny-princess types and Alice. Everyone I know, including myself, who has kept a nanny for more than a year or two has found someone who goes well beyond basic child-minding and doesn't trumpet self-made rules about what nannies do and don't do. The new parents who ended up with someone who did nothing of value while the kids napped all canned the nanny after a year or two, sometimes lying about plans to put the children in daycare or have the mother SAHM.

Some parents (not you), feel that excellent childcare is something of "value". Obviously, they are the ones who respect childcare as a "real" job. You, on the other hand, seem to see your child unworthy of the full attention of a professional. Now, before you throw another toddler temper tantrum, that doesn't mean nanny "can't" do anything else.

It does mean, that I as an adult woman, shall determine what else I shall do. Now, again, before you get bent out of shape, that's just how I operate. You'd be wasting your money on a professional, so don't bother. You're the type who wants a "nanny" to just obey your random orders.

Btw, you do know, that's not a nanny, don't you?

No adult person, including the POTUS, determines what they do on someone else's time and dime. You may have ideas about what you'd like to do, but if your employer disagrees, you are not a match. It's not because they've never dealt with a professional nanny before, it's not because they don't respect childcare, it's because you don't have a meeting of the minds. You aren't the maker of rules in nanny kingdom, you're just one service provider on a very plentiful market. There may very well be distinctions between nannies and non-nannies, but not honoring parental rules isn't one of them.

Just for your little feeble-minded brain, I'll give you one little example how a professional would NEVER blindly obey parental requests. An MB told me one day, to "spank" her child if he did certain behaviors. Just like you, the woman actually had total expectation that I as the "nanny", should, and would, follow her instructions. And guess what?! She was every bit as crazy as you are, for such utter stupidity. Even though she was the high-powered "educated" lawyer, she was completely clueless and ignorant, as to how to be a good parent. And even more stupid to think she could tell an experienced and trained professional, how to do her job. Now, you may have thoughts to share, but if we're not on the same page about the basics, I won't waste my time on you, unless I'm convinced you want to learn about your child's most essential needs. Of course, if a parental request makes no difference to the child or to me, I am inclined to be accommodating, but never to the detriment of the child. Never, Never, Never. No. Matter. What. Sorry.

And how is it that you, an epitome of nanny perfection, a jewel among dung, a shining beacon of marypoppingsness, found yourself working for such an utterly clueless MB who was evidently so far from being on the same page with your august views? Did you follow your own advice of checking and re-checking references, which you no doubt dispense with a generous hand? Did you have any discussion at all, prior to commencing your employment, on what the person who signs your checks thinks ought to be done with her child? Or did you simply start the job with an expectation that she will do as told?

I will leave you with this parting thought, o the unwise one: you are not an expert on every child's needs. You don't know what request makes a difference to a particular child. You don't know what is and is not to the detriment of a particular child - certainly not better than their parent.

PS: How were you trained again? What exactly are your credentials, beyond Internet access?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, we all want Alice, but no one here can find that dear sweet lady who does it all, -with a smile!

There is a whole range of providers between the warm-body, DCUM, nanny-princess types and Alice. Everyone I know, including myself, who has kept a nanny for more than a year or two has found someone who goes well beyond basic child-minding and doesn't trumpet self-made rules about what nannies do and don't do. The new parents who ended up with someone who did nothing of value while the kids napped all canned the nanny after a year or two, sometimes lying about plans to put the children in daycare or have the mother SAHM.

Some parents (not you), feel that excellent childcare is something of "value". Obviously, they are the ones who respect childcare as a "real" job. You, on the other hand, seem to see your child unworthy of the full attention of a professional. Now, before you throw another toddler temper tantrum, that doesn't mean nanny "can't" do anything else.

It does mean, that I as an adult woman, shall determine what else I shall do. Now, again, before you get bent out of shape, that's just how I operate. You'd be wasting your money on a professional, so don't bother. You're the type who wants a "nanny" to just obey your random orders.

Btw, you do know, that's not a nanny, don't you?

No adult person, including the POTUS, determines what they do on someone else's time and dime. You may have ideas about what you'd like to do, but if your employer disagrees, you are not a match. It's not because they've never dealt with a professional nanny before, it's not because they don't respect childcare, it's because you don't have a meeting of the minds. You aren't the maker of rules in nanny kingdom, you're just one service provider on a very plentiful market. There may very well be distinctions between nannies and non-nannies, but not honoring parental rules isn't one of them.

Just for your little feeble-minded brain, I'll give you one little example how a professional would NEVER blindly obey parental requests. An MB told me one day, to "spank" her child if he did certain behaviors. Just like you, the woman actually had total expectation that I as the "nanny", should, and would, follow her instructions. And guess what?! She was every bit as crazy as you are, for such utter stupidity. Even though she was the high-powered "educated" lawyer, she was completely clueless and ignorant, as to how to be a good parent. And even more stupid to think she could tell an experienced and trained professional, how to do her job. Now, you may have thoughts to share, but if we're not on the same page about the basics, I won't waste my time on you, unless I'm convinced you want to learn about your child's most essential needs. Of course, if a parental request makes no difference to the child or to me, I am inclined to be accommodating, but never to the detriment of the child. Never, Never, Never. No. Matter. What. Sorry.

It does mean, that I as an adult woman, shall determine what else I shall do. Now, again, before you get bent out of shape, that's just how I operate. You'd be wasting your money on a professional, so don't bother. You're the type who wants a "nanny" to just obey your random orders.

You sound exactly like a warm body couch surfing nanny. Take your arrogance and laziness elsewhere.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very typical for nannies. There was a thread awhile back about favorite things about being a nanny. There were numerous posts about watching Netflix and having downtime. On any posts where an employer asks about tasks, the nannies start posting about organizing clothes and saying it takes 20 minutes to unload a dishwasher.

What's "typical" is that you have no clue what a nanny is, or does. But it sure makes you feel warm and fuzzy to think that you do. So unfortunate.

Or perhaps--given that nanny work is completely unregulated and has no barriers to entry--it just isn't possible to say what is typical nanny work anymore. For $19 per hour, and assuming she is in the DC area, OP will be able to find excellent candidates who are willing to take on tasks that are not strictly child-related, or are child-related in the broadest possible sense (i.e. vacuuming and mopping areas used by the kids, preparing meals eaten by the entire family, including the kids). A few of these people will call themselves nanny/housekeepers or nanny/assistants, but most will simply call themselves nannies. The key is to work with applicants to identify tasks that are valuable to the family and not offensive to the nanny. Some hate cleaning but don't mind cooking. Others like to get out and don't mind grocery shopping, doing errands, or even light work in the garden. You may not hear from these nannies on this board, because they are busy doing their jobs.

Neither are we likely to hear from the better parents on these boards. They've got other priorities. What a surprise!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, we all want Alice, but no one here can find that dear sweet lady who does it all, -with a smile!

There is a whole range of providers between the warm-body, DCUM, nanny-princess types and Alice. Everyone I know, including myself, who has kept a nanny for more than a year or two has found someone who goes well beyond basic child-minding and doesn't trumpet self-made rules about what nannies do and don't do. The new parents who ended up with someone who did nothing of value while the kids napped all canned the nanny after a year or two, sometimes lying about plans to put the children in daycare or have the mother SAHM.

Some parents (not you), feel that excellent childcare is something of "value". Obviously, they are the ones who respect childcare as a "real" job. You, on the other hand, seem to see your child unworthy of the full attention of a professional. Now, before you throw another toddler temper tantrum, that doesn't mean nanny "can't" do anything else.

It does mean, that I as an adult woman, shall determine what else I shall do. Now, again, before you get bent out of shape, that's just how I operate. You'd be wasting your money on a professional, so don't bother. You're the type who wants a "nanny" to just obey your random orders.

Btw, you do know, that's not a nanny, don't you?

No adult person, including the POTUS, determines what they do on someone else's time and dime. You may have ideas about what you'd like to do, but if your employer disagrees, you are not a match. It's not because they've never dealt with a professional nanny before, it's not because they don't respect childcare, it's because you don't have a meeting of the minds. You aren't the maker of rules in nanny kingdom, you're just one service provider on a very plentiful market. There may very well be distinctions between nannies and non-nannies, but not honoring parental rules isn't one of them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, we all want Alice, but no one here can find that dear sweet lady who does it all, -with a smile!

There is a whole range of providers between the warm-body, DCUM, nanny-princess types and Alice. Everyone I know, including myself, who has kept a nanny for more than a year or two has found someone who goes well beyond basic child-minding and doesn't trumpet self-made rules about what nannies do and don't do. The new parents who ended up with someone who did nothing of value while the kids napped all canned the nanny after a year or two, sometimes lying about plans to put the children in daycare or have the mother SAHM.

Some parents (not you), feel that excellent childcare is something of "value". Obviously, they are the ones who respect childcare as a "real" job. You, on the other hand, seem to see your child unworthy of the full attention of a professional. Now, before you throw another toddler temper tantrum, that doesn't mean nanny "can't" do anything else.

It does mean, that I as an adult woman, shall determine what else I shall do. Now, again, before you get bent out of shape, that's just how I operate. You'd be wasting your money on a professional, so don't bother. You're the type who wants a "nanny" to just obey your random orders.

Btw, you do know, that's not a nanny, don't you?

What tasks would you like her to be doing that she is currently not ? Have you talked to her about this? I had a nanny job very similar to this with preschool aged children. Sounds to me like she is doing the job you asked her to do. How can you b upset with her for that.

Anonymous wrote:Sure, we all want Alice, but no one here can find that dear sweet lady who does it all, -with a smile!

There is a whole range of providers between the warm-body, DCUM, nanny-princess types and Alice. Everyone I know, including myself, who has kept a nanny for more than a year or two has found someone who goes well beyond basic child-minding and doesn't trumpet self-made rules about what nannies do and don't do. The new parents who ended up with someone who did nothing of value while the kids napped all canned the nanny after a year or two, sometimes lying about plans to put the children in daycare or have the mother SAHM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very typical for nannies. There was a thread awhile back about favorite things about being a nanny. There were numerous posts about watching Netflix and having downtime. On any posts where an employer asks about tasks, the nannies start posting about organizing clothes and saying it takes 20 minutes to unload a dishwasher.

What's "typical" is that you have no clue what a nanny is, or does. But it sure makes you feel warm and fuzzy to think that you do. So unfortunate.

Or perhaps--given that nanny work is completely unregulated and has no barriers to entry--it just isn't possible to say what is typical nanny work anymore. For $19 per hour, and assuming she is in the DC area, OP will be able to find excellent candidates who are willing to take on tasks that are not strictly child-related, or are child-related in the broadest possible sense (i.e. vacuuming and mopping areas used by the kids, preparing meals eaten by the entire family, including the kids). A few of these people will call themselves nanny/housekeepers or nanny/assistants, but most will simply call themselves nannies. The key is to work with applicants to identify tasks that are valuable to the family and not offensive to the nanny. Some hate cleaning but don't mind cooking. Others like to get out and don't mind grocery shopping, doing errands, or even light work in the garden. You may not hear from these nannies on this board, because they are busy doing their jobs.

Anonymous wrote:Sure, we all want Alice, but no one here can find that dear sweet lady who does it all, -with a smile!

My bosses did!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very typical for nannies. There was a thread awhile back about favorite things about being a nanny. There were numerous posts about watching Netflix and having downtime. On any posts where an employer asks about tasks, the nannies start posting about organizing clothes and saying it takes 20 minutes to unload a dishwasher.

Hardly. Those are responses from "warm bodies."
Anyone who has had a real nanny knows it.

Exactly! Thank you.

Sure, we all want Alice, but no one here can find that dear sweet lady who does it all, -with a smile!

Anonymous wrote:This is very typical for nannies. There was a thread awhile back about favorite things about being a nanny. There were numerous posts about watching Netflix and having downtime. On any posts where an employer asks about tasks, the nannies start posting about organizing clothes and saying it takes 20 minutes to unload a dishwasher.

Hardly. Those are responses from "warm bodies."
Anyone who has had a real nanny knows it.

Anonymous wrote:This is very typical for nannies. There was a thread awhile back about favorite things about being a nanny. There were numerous posts about watching Netflix and having downtime. On any posts where an employer asks about tasks, the nannies start posting about organizing clothes and saying it takes 20 minutes to unload a dishwasher.

What's "typical" is that you have no clue what a nanny is, or does. But it sure makes you feel warm and fuzzy to think that you do. So unfortunate.

Give her whatever notice is outlined in your contract/work agreement. If severance is outlined there as well, pay it - she hasn't neglected any aspect of her job, she just isn't going above and beyond the tasks she's responsible for, so it wouldn't be right to withhold that if it was negotiated upfront. If severance would be something you'd add onto the negotiated notice in recognition of her two years with you, that's solely at your discretion. It will vary from person to person and from relationship to relationship. Just do what feels right - you're letting her go so it isn't like she'll be around in a week to criticize your decision or thank you profusely, so trust your moral compass.

It sounds like for your next caregiver you'd be better off getting a nanny/housekeeper or a nanny/household assistant - someone who can do the grocery shopping and cooking, who can buy and wrap gifts for the kids' friends' birthdays, who can drop off and pick up dry cleaning, etc. during the down time. I imagine you could find someone for $18-$20/hr who will do an excellent job.