Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm an MB.
Keep looking. Let this nanny take you through the holidays (and through the trial period you've established - and good for you for setting that up!). In the meantime find someone about whom you have a better "gut" instinct.
I totally agree that someone can get sick at any time - we're all human. And I don't want my child getting sick through someone not taking a sick day when it's necessary. But if I were in my second week on a job and wanted to keep the job I would give as much notice as possible, call not text, be extremely apologetic and try to sincerely convey that I would only be taking the day off if it was critically necessary.
It doesn't sound like your nanny exerted herself at all to build/develop/maintain your confidence in her. And it sounds like you already have some other concerns about her performance. This is what a trial period is for.
If you decide to let her go right before xmas (assuming that's even a holiday for you and/or her) then you can always be generous with severance to acknowledge the holiday.
Your child will bond with other people also. Turnover is a nightmare but you want a strong, long-term, trusting relationship with your nanny. When you have concerns on day 6 that's a problem.
Good luck!
I agree with most of your points, however, we don't really know that the nanny DIDN'T do these things. We know she texted. That's it.
We don't know what their agreement on calling out was (I have had employers who prefer a text, especially if it is at 5:30 AM). We don't know what she said or how apologetic she was.
The assumption, it seems like all of the time, is that the nanny is being shady and that somehow every MBs "gut" feelings are always 100% accurate (definitely never influenced by uncertainty with a new nanny, external stressors, etc). Presumably, OP put a lot of effort into finding this nanny, shouldn't she exert a bit more find out if she is worth keeping around?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Again![]()
1. Thank you PP - My sentiments exactly on how it was a winter storm. I expect her to be sick tomorrow as well.
2. To the nanny on here who called me a troll trying to rile people - you must have the day off to be going back and attacking the MBs
3. To the nanny who said we are bat shit crazy women. Do you know the pressure we're under at some of our jobs ? How in corporate America it's still not looked favorably upon to call in with a "my nanny called in sick " so I can't work either today or "sorry that's my kid screaming in the background during this conference call". It's worse than when schools are closed, but this time, you get disapproval from your other co-workers for not having your daycare situation together.
To all the MBs:
One of the worst feelings when you hire someone to take care of your child is that first sign they give you that it might not work work out. Your heart drops and think - Damn. Just when I was in the clear. " And you start the search again unwillingly - because you REALLY wanted it to work out and worse yet, you have to start the trusting process all over again.
This woman came highly recommended and because of that I was giving her the benefit of the doubt, except that I thought: she texted me, never bothered to call (that's impolite), and on top of that texted me to tell me she would let me know what her doctor said so I would know what her plans were tomorrow. Yeah, didnt hear from her either.
Luckily , we are in a trial period (no sick days now until we were supposed to start her contract on Jan1 ) . Then she would get the standard package.
Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm an MB.
Keep looking. Let this nanny take you through the holidays (and through the trial period you've established - and good for you for setting that up!). In the meantime find someone about whom you have a better "gut" instinct.
I totally agree that someone can get sick at any time - we're all human. And I don't want my child getting sick through someone not taking a sick day when it's necessary. But if I were in my second week on a job and wanted to keep the job I would give as much notice as possible, call not text, be extremely apologetic and try to sincerely convey that I would only be taking the day off if it was critically necessary.
It doesn't sound like your nanny exerted herself at all to build/develop/maintain your confidence in her. And it sounds like you already have some other concerns about her performance. This is what a trial period is for.
If you decide to let her go right before xmas (assuming that's even a holiday for you and/or her) then you can always be generous with severance to acknowledge the holiday.
Your child will bond with other people also. Turnover is a nightmare but you want a strong, long-term, trusting relationship with your nanny. When you have concerns on day 6 that's a problem.
Good luck!
Anonymous wrote:Some of you women are just bat shit insane. Sad.
Fire someone because they used a sick day?? Why even give them as an option then, if you never truly intend for your employee to use them, or worse, you scrutinize every incident in which they do.
OP- presumably you did not hire a moron (though by the attitude you and the other MBs here have displayed, you clearly think all nannies are morons) and she is aware that using a sick day so early in her employment could jeopardize her job. It's a safe bet that she is actually, very sick and probably feels terrible having to call in so soon. Why not giver her the benefit of the doubt?
Honestly, if this is a firing offense to you, you should just stop trying to have a nanny all together. It will be a nightmare for you and anyone you hire.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When exactly do you all expect her to let you know? I wake 2 hours before I have to be at work. Even if I decide the moment I wake that I'm not going in, it usually takes 30 minutes to get a hold of my bosses (2 families), so unless I knew the night before, they get a max of an hour and a half notice. If your nanny lives close she probably has even less time to get a message to you. Letting someone go 2 weeks before the holidays because they were sick is deplorable.
OP again: I dont know why I bother answering posts to nannies who are the crusaders of bad nanny behavior and get thrown big girl words at me like deplorable. I should have said MBs only .
I asked specifically - should I keep on looking??? As in, it took me a while to find this person that I need her to stay on through the holidays since I absolutely hate to have my son being handed off to different people but. I take finding the right person very seriously PP. And while I understand anyone can get sick (just bad luck) a week into a job, you also have to wonder if its' weather. I still have to work today, guess who pays the nanny.
Side bar thought: This is one of the few areas in the country that there is barely anything on the ground and the $20/ hr person wants to get compensated for not coming in to work when millions of others find a way to do so.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When exactly do you all expect her to let you know? I wake 2 hours before I have to be at work. Even if I decide the moment I wake that I'm not going in, it usually takes 30 minutes to get a hold of my bosses (2 families), so unless I knew the night before, they get a max of an hour and a half notice. If your nanny lives close she probably has even less time to get a message to you. Letting someone go 2 weeks before the holidays because they were sick is deplorable.
OP again: I dont know why I bother answering posts to nannies who are the crusaders of bad nanny behavior and get thrown big girl words at me like deplorable. I should have said MBs only .
I asked specifically - should I keep on looking??? As in, it took me a while to find this person that I need her to stay on through the holidays since I absolutely hate to have my son being handed off to different people but. I take finding the right person very seriously PP. And while I understand anyone can get sick (just bad luck) a week into a job, you also have to wonder if its' weather. I still have to work today, guess who pays the nanny.
Side bar thought: This is one of the few areas in the country that there is barely anything on the ground and the $20/ hr person wants to get compensated for not coming in to work when millions of others find a way to do so.
PP's point was very valid OP. You sound like a gem.
No, it wasn't valid. The PP said "Letting someone go 2 weeks before the holidays because they were sick is deplorable." Nowhere did the OP say she was immediately letting the nanny go. Nannies that are posting here, you really and truly think that someone texting "I'm not feeling well today, I'm so sorry I'm not going to make it in!" an hour before your start time on your sixth day at work while you're in a trial period should make an employer feel secure in your commitment?
What do you suggest she ought to have done? You can say she should have called not texted, but in my experiences, most employers arent checking their phone hours before they have to be up. And lets just ignore the rest of what PP said that makes perfect sense and focus on what you didn't like, and proceed to call it invalid.
The OP was clearly responding to the use of the word deplorable to sum up the PP's point. The rest of it may have been totally valid, but when you use inflammatory language people tend not to hear you - they focus on the fact that you've incorrectly insulted them.
I've described twice now what I would like to see my nanny do if they truly had to call out on the Monday after they started. As I said, usually you start to feel sick the day before. It would have been terrific if she had texted on Sunday with a warning that she may be coming down with something. Then Monday morning, as soon as she woke up, call and explain and be very apologetic. Offer to come in even so to show that you are committed. Even if she truly, as I said, didn't feel sick Sunday night and woke up feeling horrible, calling and sincerely apologizing would be completely fine. It's not the timing so much as the execution. And no one has said "let her go immediately!!" Everyone has said it's not a good sign. And it's not, particularly when combined with some other issues OP is not all that pleased with after just one week.
Deplorable is inflammatory now? How about lazy, entitled, the assumption that we're all uneducated, etc? I didn't call OP any names. I said letting someone go 2 weeks before the holidays is deplorable ie. worthy of strong condemnation. You don't think it would be? I also never said that is what OP said she would do. I stated my opinion that to do so, and OP seemed to be considering it, would be pretty awful.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When exactly do you all expect her to let you know? I wake 2 hours before I have to be at work. Even if I decide the moment I wake that I'm not going in, it usually takes 30 minutes to get a hold of my bosses (2 families), so unless I knew the night before, they get a max of an hour and a half notice. If your nanny lives close she probably has even less time to get a message to you. Letting someone go 2 weeks before the holidays because they were sick is deplorable.
OP again: I dont know why I bother answering posts to nannies who are the crusaders of bad nanny behavior and get thrown big girl words at me like deplorable. I should have said MBs only .
I asked specifically - should I keep on looking??? As in, it took me a while to find this person that I need her to stay on through the holidays since I absolutely hate to have my son being handed off to different people but. I take finding the right person very seriously PP. And while I understand anyone can get sick (just bad luck) a week into a job, you also have to wonder if its' weather. I still have to work today, guess who pays the nanny.
Side bar thought: This is one of the few areas in the country that there is barely anything on the ground and the $20/ hr person wants to get compensated for not coming in to work when millions of others find a way to do so.
PP's point was very valid OP. You sound like a gem.
No, it wasn't valid. The PP said "Letting someone go 2 weeks before the holidays because they were sick is deplorable." Nowhere did the OP say she was immediately letting the nanny go. Nannies that are posting here, you really and truly think that someone texting "I'm not feeling well today, I'm so sorry I'm not going to make it in!" an hour before your start time on your sixth day at work while you're in a trial period should make an employer feel secure in your commitment?
What do you suggest she ought to have done? You can say she should have called not texted, but in my experiences, most employers arent checking their phone hours before they have to be up. And lets just ignore the rest of what PP said that makes perfect sense and focus on what you didn't like, and proceed to call it invalid.
The OP was clearly responding to the use of the word deplorable to sum up the PP's point. The rest of it may have been totally valid, but when you use inflammatory language people tend not to hear you - they focus on the fact that you've incorrectly insulted them.
I've described twice now what I would like to see my nanny do if they truly had to call out on the Monday after they started. As I said, usually you start to feel sick the day before. It would have been terrific if she had texted on Sunday with a warning that she may be coming down with something. Then Monday morning, as soon as she woke up, call and explain and be very apologetic. Offer to come in even so to show that you are committed. Even if she truly, as I said, didn't feel sick Sunday night and woke up feeling horrible, calling and sincerely apologizing would be completely fine. It's not the timing so much as the execution. And no one has said "let her go immediately!!" Everyone has said it's not a good sign. And it's not, particularly when combined with some other issues OP is not all that pleased with after just one week.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When exactly do you all expect her to let you know? I wake 2 hours before I have to be at work. Even if I decide the moment I wake that I'm not going in, it usually takes 30 minutes to get a hold of my bosses (2 families), so unless I knew the night before, they get a max of an hour and a half notice. If your nanny lives close she probably has even less time to get a message to you. Letting someone go 2 weeks before the holidays because they were sick is deplorable.
OP again: I dont know why I bother answering posts to nannies who are the crusaders of bad nanny behavior and get thrown big girl words at me like deplorable. I should have said MBs only .
I asked specifically - should I keep on looking??? As in, it took me a while to find this person that I need her to stay on through the holidays since I absolutely hate to have my son being handed off to different people but. I take finding the right person very seriously PP. And while I understand anyone can get sick (just bad luck) a week into a job, you also have to wonder if its' weather. I still have to work today, guess who pays the nanny.
Side bar thought: This is one of the few areas in the country that there is barely anything on the ground and the $20/ hr person wants to get compensated for not coming in to work when millions of others find a way to do so.
PP's point was very valid OP. You sound like a gem.
No, it wasn't valid. The PP said "Letting someone go 2 weeks before the holidays because they were sick is deplorable." Nowhere did the OP say she was immediately letting the nanny go. Nannies that are posting here, you really and truly think that someone texting "I'm not feeling well today, I'm so sorry I'm not going to make it in!" an hour before your start time on your sixth day at work while you're in a trial period should make an employer feel secure in your commitment?
What do you suggest she ought to have done? You can say she should have called not texted, but in my experiences, most employers arent checking their phone hours before they have to be up. And lets just ignore the rest of what PP said that makes perfect sense and focus on what you didn't like, and proceed to call it invalid.