Mom needs to learn to manage her own kids. Be a parent!

Tbe ptoblem is that OP's MB is showing her complete lack ofrespect for OP. money is not everything and OP has a right to enjoy the holifay with her family. Her MB put her in a terrible podition and every damn one of you know that it is not as easy as just saying no.

OP, I hope you do not mess up your holiday by helping this lazy, thoughtless bitch. Happy Thanksgiving to you and I hope het's is an unmitigatef disaster.

I don't get why this caused so much cattiness.

MB - "Hey nanny, we realized we'd love some extra help on Thursday morning for a few hours since I realized how much I'll have to cook. Would you be able to come in for a few hours?"

Nanny - "Hmmm I'd love to help out, but I was planning on doing my own cooking that morning and we have to be at my aunt's house at 1pm. I'm sorry!" OR "Actually we were planning to just be sitting around in the morning, but I do have to go to my aunt's at 1pm - would 9-12pm be helpful? My holiday rate is X."

Why is this so difficult? If your MB asks you last minute to work on Thanksgiving and then gives you crap if you say no, then obviously you need to find a new job. No reasonable person would do that to someone. And wanting additional help for preparing a Thanksgiving meal doesn't make you an entitled snob. Jeez.

"As a nanny, I see both sides of this. I absolutely have the ability to turn down hours, but. I WANT to say yes and please my boss where I can, so I sometimes agree to something then regret it later when I am worn out and exhausted.

I think phrasing makes a big difference:
"We were going to hire a sitter from X-Y on Z day, unless you'd like the hours"
Vs.
"Are you free from X-Y on Z day?"

The first sounds lets me know that saying no won't ruin your plans. The second feels like I have to justify turning you down by claiming to be busier than I am."

Spot on. Asking if she can work - very bad. Offering her first refusal while making clear your plan was to find someone else to hire - that's fine. - MB
OP - tell her you have family plans. It is a holiday for cripe's sake.

00:19, you invited all these guests, have them help you or have it cateted. You are lazy.

As a nanny, I see both sides of this. I absolutely have the ability to turn down hours, but. I WANT to say yes and please my boss where I can, so I sometimes agree to something then regret it later when I am worn out and exhausted.

I think phrasing makes a big difference:
"We were going to hire a sitter from X-Y on Z day, unless you'd like the hours"
Vs.
"Are you free from X-Y on Z day?"

The first sounds lets me know that saying no won't ruin your plans. The second feels like I have to justify turning you down by claiming to be busier than I am.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't that different than a nanny trying to change her schedule, or change the terms of her contract. You all act like that is something unforgivable and a firing offense. Don't "ask" your nanny to work a holiday, unless you are one hundred percent sure she would jump at the money, or that she has the cajones to tell you no.

To the MB who said she is cooking for 40 people and "needs" the extra help, ask yourself how poor people manage it, and let your nanny have her day off.

I work hard to make sure I don't HAVE to live like a poor person.

Lots of people work hard and are still poor. How about working hard to be kind and considerate. Your desire for extra hands on a family holiday should not trump your nanny's right to be with her family. The fact that you think it does, says you should work harder at being a good person.

Instead of working so hard, why don't you learn to take care of your own kids? Sounds like your a snob and your kids will follow in your footsteps, which is sad.

Taking care of four small children (two of whom are in diapers) while also prepping for a slew of guests is a lot. I am not sure why you think I'm a snob for admitting when I need help and pursuing it, or why you think my kids will wind up snobs.

Anonymous wrote:I asked my nanny to work too. So what? I have almost 40 people coming over, and 4 children to mind while getting the house ready. An extra set of hands will be very useful. If she had said she couldn't do it, I'd just have asked if she had any nanny friends who were looking for some extra money leading up to the holiday season. I wouldn't be angry at her if she said she couldn't because she already has plans. No need to get all riled up on either side.

Here give your unruly, non well behaved, can't entertain themself children this and call it a day

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/345847.page

Oh and that was to the mb who thinks her shit don't stink not the last quoted poster.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't that different than a nanny trying to change her schedule, or change the terms of her contract. You all act like that is something unforgivable and a firing offense. Don't "ask" your nanny to work a holiday, unless you are one hundred percent sure she would jump at the money, or that she has the cajones to tell you no.

To the MB who said she is cooking for 40 people and "needs" the extra help, ask yourself how poor people manage it, and let your nanny have her day off.

I work hard to make sure I don't HAVE to live like a poor person.

Lots of people work hard and are still poor. How about working hard to be kind and considerate. Your desire for extra hands on a family holiday should not trump your nanny's right to be with her family. The fact that you think it does, says you should work harder at being a good person.

Instead of working so hard, why don't you learn to take care of your own kids? Sounds like your a snob and your kids will follow in your footsteps, which is sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't that different than a nanny trying to change her schedule, or change the terms of her contract. You all act like that is something unforgivable and a firing offense. Don't "ask" your nanny to work a holiday, unless you are one hundred percent sure she would jump at the money, or that she has the cajones to tell you no.

To the MB who said she is cooking for 40 people and "needs" the extra help, ask yourself how poor people manage it, and let your nanny have her day off.

I work hard to make sure I don't HAVE to live like a poor person.

Lots of people work hard and are still poor. How about working hard to be kind and considerate. Your desire for extra hands on a family holiday should not trump your nanny's right to be with her family. The fact that you think it does, says you should work harder at being a good person.

Settle down. My desire for extra hands is simply because ... I could use an extra set of hands. The nanny has four days in a row off; and I am asking if she wants to work half of one before festivities begin. People need to grow some balls and have both confidence and backbone. If she doesn't want to work, just say that. It's that simple.

Are you paying her well for the day???
My MB pays me the holiday (8 hours) than the hours I worked at double. So really for those 4/5 hours I could get triple the pay.
But I don't work thanksgiving or xmas. All other holidays sure but ya gotta pay up.

The only thing that would bother me as a nanny was if I wasn't being paid extra. I've had nanny jobs in the past were I was never paid extra over 40 hrs even if I worked 70 hrs. I had to be at there beck and call. That job I left of course but someone else out there has it. My old MB did not understand why I was upset when I was told were going out Friday and Saturday night and oh ya on Sunday can you work 10-4. With no extra pay ever

I'm a nanny, and I don't see the big deal about being asked if I can work on a day off. It's up to you to say yes or no. Employers are not responsible if you feel bad about saying no.

I take it as a compliment when my employers miss me when I'm not there. And I probably would not want to work for people who would be offended if I took off the days I'm entitled to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't that different than a nanny trying to change her schedule, or change the terms of her contract. You all act like that is something unforgivable and a firing offense. Don't "ask" your nanny to work a holiday, unless you are one hundred percent sure she would jump at the money, or that she has the cajones to tell you no.

To the MB who said she is cooking for 40 people and "needs" the extra help, ask yourself how poor people manage it, and let your nanny have her day off.

I work hard to make sure I don't HAVE to live like a poor person.

Lots of people work hard and are still poor. How about working hard to be kind and considerate. Your desire for extra hands on a family holiday should not trump your nanny's right to be with her family. The fact that you think it does, says you should work harder at being a good person.

Settle down. My desire for extra hands is simply because ... I could use an extra set of hands. The nanny has four days in a row off; and I am asking if she wants to work half of one before festivities begin. People need to grow some balls and have both confidence and backbone. If she doesn't want to work, just say that. It's that simple.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't that different than a nanny trying to change her schedule, or change the terms of her contract. You all act like that is something unforgivable and a firing offense. Don't "ask" your nanny to work a holiday, unless you are one hundred percent sure she would jump at the money, or that she has the cajones to tell you no.

To the MB who said she is cooking for 40 people and "needs" the extra help, ask yourself how poor people manage it, and let your nanny have her day off.

I work hard to make sure I don't HAVE to live like a poor person.

Lots of people work hard and are still poor. How about working hard to be kind and considerate. Your desire for extra hands on a family holiday should not trump your nanny's right to be with her family. The fact that you think it does, says you should work harder at being a good person.