Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no way to say "you told me three times already" in response to something your boss says that won't come off like attitude.

A professional way to approach this would be to schedule a sit-down at some neutral time (not indicator after another reminder occurs) and say "MB, I've noticed that you remind me frequently of things we've gone over many times. It makes me feel like you don't trust me. Can you please help me understanding the reason behind your regular reminders?" Have an adult conversation about it if possible.

Or perhaps instead - "oh yes, I remember we talked about that yesterday. I hope I was able to follow your instructions - was there something I could have done differently?

But also, particularly if you have concluded that it's just her personality, why take it so personally? It's not meant as any reflection on you if it's just her nature. "Ok, thanks!" Over and over and let it go.

And finally, I'm not saying this is the case with you, but with our one au pair who was really not performing well, I did find myself micromanaging because the few times I didn't up front, she was truly awful. So for me personally, I micromanage when I don't trust my caretaker's common sense and engagement on the job.

More than one mom has taken your approach to employing an inept sitter, and then they act all surprised when tragedy strikes, as if there was no warning. Please.

Anonymous wrote:When you don't "trust" your sitter's "common sense", you had best get another one. Your micromanaging does nothing to protect your child, for God's sake.

Anonymous wrote:There is no way to say "you told me three times already" in response to something your boss says that won't come off like attitude.

A professional way to approach this would be to schedule a sit-down at some neutral time (not indicator after another reminder occurs) and say "MB, I've noticed that you remind me frequently of things we've gone over many times. It makes me feel like you don't trust me. Can you please help me understanding the reason behind your regular reminders?" Have an adult conversation about it if possible.

Or perhaps instead - "oh yes, I remember we talked about that yesterday. I hope I was able to follow your instructions - was there something I could have done differently?

But also, particularly if you have concluded that it's just her personality, why take it so personally? It's not meant as any reflection on you if it's just her nature. "Ok, thanks!" Over and over and let it go.

And finally, I'm not saying this is the case with you, but with our one au pair who was really not performing well, I did find myself micromanaging because the few times I didn't up front, she was truly awful. So for me personally, I micromanage when I don't trust my caretaker's common sense and engagement on the job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see how that would be frustrating but she's probably not trying to undermine you, maybe she wants to feel like she's a part of what goes on when she's away at work. I don't think your attitude is necessary though. The "you told me 3 times already" line is pretty unprofessional and immature. It's normal to have to put up with crap from bosses but its not usual for employees to cop an attitude without getting fired.

I agree that its risky for OP to have said that, but you don't seriously think the double standard is okay, do you? Nannies take all kinds of attitude from our bosses for whatever reason, we put up with a lot of annoying behavior for whatever reason, and there is a level of informality and familiarity to our relationship with our bosses, that inevitably if you piss your nanny off you are bound to get some of it right back. Its just human nature. And depending on how OP phrases it, I don't think reminding an employer that you've said something three times, and that you've got it under control is out of line. Would you rather your nanny speak up about something you're doing that might push her to quit, or would you rather she quit seemingly out of the blue, without even the opportunity to fix things?

I agree, never talk back to your boss.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see how that would be frustrating but she's probably not trying to undermine you, maybe she wants to feel like she's a part of what goes on when she's away at work. I don't think your attitude is necessary though. The "you told me 3 times already" line is pretty unprofessional and immature. It's normal to have to put up with crap from bosses but its not usual for employees to cop an attitude without getting fired.

I agree that its risky for OP to have said that, but you don't seriously think the double standard is okay, do you? Nannies take all kinds of attitude from our bosses for whatever reason, we put up with a lot of annoying behavior for whatever reason, and there is a level of informality and familiarity to our relationship with our bosses, that inevitably if you piss your nanny off you are bound to get some of it right back. Its just human nature. And depending on how OP phrases it, I don't think reminding an employer that you've said something three times, and that you've got it under control is out of line. Would you rather your nanny speak up about something you're doing that might push her to quit, or would you rather she quit seemingly out of the blue, without even the opportunity to fix things?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see how that would be frustrating but she's probably not trying to undermine you, maybe she wants to feel like she's a part of what goes on when she's away at work. I don't think your attitude is necessary though. The "you told me 3 times already" line is pretty unprofessional and immature. It's normal to have to put up with crap from bosses but its not usual for employees to cop an attitude without getting fired.

I agree that its risky for OP to have said that, but you don't seriously think the double standard is okay, do you? Nannies take all kinds of attitude from our bosses for whatever reason, we put up with a lot of annoying behavior for whatever reason, and there is a level of informality and familiarity to our relationship with our bosses, that inevitably if you piss your nanny off you are bound to get some of it right back. Its just human nature. And depending on how OP phrases it, I don't think reminding an employer that you've said something three times, and that you've got it under control is out of line. Would you rather your nanny speak up about something you're doing that might push her to quit, or would you rather she quit seemingly out of the blue, without even the opportunity to fix things?

You contradicted yourself there.

Btw, bosses who remind aren't giving attitude but saying, in a frustrated tone like OP said, that she was already told 3 times is definitely attitude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see how that would be frustrating but she's probably not trying to undermine you, maybe she wants to feel like she's a part of what goes on when she's away at work. I don't think your attitude is necessary though. The "you told me 3 times already" line is pretty unprofessional and immature. It's normal to have to put up with crap from bosses but its not usual for employees to cop an attitude without getting fired.

I agree that its risky for OP to have said that, but you don't seriously think the double standard is okay, do you? Nannies take all kinds of attitude from our bosses for whatever reason, we put up with a lot of annoying behavior for whatever reason, and there is a level of informality and familiarity to our relationship with our bosses, that inevitably if you piss your nanny off you are bound to get some of it right back. Its just human nature. And depending on how OP phrases it, I don't think reminding an employer that you've said something three times, and that you've got it under control is out of line. Would you rather your nanny speak up about something you're doing that might push her to quit, or would you rather she quit seemingly out of the blue, without even the opportunity to fix things?