Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 16:06     Subject: Nanny using our car to visit her house with the baby during the day
But then she has the right to know she is being watched and controlled!
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 15:54     Subject: Nanny using our car to visit her house with the baby during the day
many of the professional MB/DB that hire nannies work in offices with security cameras in all areas, security passes as you go in and out of the building, colleagues and bosses nearby and regular meetings to check on your work progress and what you are up to. It is simply a function of working life that if someone pays you to do a job they expect you to be accountable for pretty much most of that time.

It astounds me that some vocal nannies feel that this is somehow an invasion of their privacy. It is not your private time, you are actually working and therefore should be prepared to be accountable for what you are doing. Someone who starts regularly disappearing for an unexplained hour at a time will get called out in almost all professions. Not sure there should be a special exception for nannies.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 15:41     Subject: Nanny using our car to visit her house with the baby during the day
Well how do you know without a car and stuff where your nanny is all the time?
Are you following her around? If yes, you have too much time
and don't need a nanny!!!
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 13:32     Subject: Nanny using our car to visit her house with the baby during the day
Anonymous wrote:Yeah right!!!
Go ahead and install a gps in her underwear next!


no need for that. the one in the car was sufficient.

a parent has the right to know where a nanny takes the child, especially if the nanny is not forthcoming about it. there is no violation of privacy here (nice try thoug). the fact that the nanny did not put the trips home in teh log is telling that she knew it was not something she was supposed to do
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 13:28     Subject: Nanny using our car to visit her house with the baby during the day
Anonymous wrote:Seriously?
Installing a gps advice in your car?
Welcome to the usa! Not just is the goverment spying on entire Europe also do we spy on our nannies.
Great! Thank you very much!!!!


very much warranted in the case at issue, since baby could not talk and GPS showed that nanny was taking trips home with her MB's car during work hours without telling the family and living the "detail" out of the log
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 13:20     Subject: Nanny using our car to visit her house with the baby during the day
Yeah right!!!
Go ahead and install a gps in her underwear next!
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 12:59     Subject: Nanny using our car to visit her house with the baby during the day
Uh - it is OP's car so her business where it goes. Moreover if nanny were doing only what she should then she would not be worried about GPS tracking v
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 12:52     Subject: Nanny using our car to visit her house with the baby during the day
Seriously?
Installing a gps advice in your car?
Welcome to the usa! Not just is the goverment spying on entire Europe also do we spy on our nannies.
Great! Thank you very much!!!!
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 11:50     Subject: Nanny using our car to visit her house with the baby during the day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:the fact that she takes your baby to her house for some time almost every day, and without telling you, would not be OK with me at all. you talk about gas and mileage and use of the car, but to me that issue is the safety of your baby. I would never ever allow my child, especially a baby, to go to some stranger's house. what if the nanny has a crazy DH or son who abuses your child? what if she has an older child who smacks your child too hard because the child is crying? what if she has a dog who can bite? what if the DH has a gun left around, or cleans the gun with the child around? I know I may sound paranoid, but these are all examples of real tragedies that happened in the DC areas, with kids injured or killed while in the care of a "good" nanny who had somebody around who waws not that good. when you let a nanny care for your child, you obviously need to trust her, but to me she should stay at my home or go to teh playground, to the zoo, take a walk. she would definitely not be allowed to go to somebody's house, including her own, without my knowledge and permission. I could not care less about the car, I would care about the child in her care


I personally do not think this is being paranoid at all. Accidents and other unfortunate events happen all the time and we cannot control everything. In my view if something happens to my child in a situation that I knew about and approved and the nanny was taking normal care and diligence in keepiong my child safe then I would not hold the nanny accountable for that unfortunate event. if on the other hand my child was injured in any way on an outing or in the presence of people I have not approved my child spending time with i would find it hard not to blame the nanny for the event. particularly if my child is being secretly taken somewhere. the fact that she does not put this in her log is very telling that she knows this is not ok. If she is popping home to do her own chores etc. with your child in tow I would be very annoyed unless she had pre-arranged it.

My first nanny years ago took my baby to a play date without telling me and came home and complained that the father of the child was home the entire time and smoking in front of the babies. Obviously not ideal. She has also arranged a play date with another nanny at our home without telling me with a much older toddler. My baby was 5 months old and our home was not yet fully child proofed. the toddler pulled over and smashed a lamp that was a wedding gift. he could have been hurt and thankfully was not but the family did not respond to request to talk about the incident, would not give their name or phone number to my nanny so we could chat about it and then their nanny stopped being in contact with mine, quickly.

We quickly agreed a policy that my child goes nowhere and no other child comes to my home without my knowlegde and preferrably me having a quick chat with the parents so that i can assess who is around, smoking, pets and otherwise and ages of kids. It felt over the top at the time but it was how i wanted to deal with the safety of my baby and the liability in our own home. two very important issues. that are so personal that no nanny should feel put out my a MB wanting to decide these for themselves, their family. This included everywhere my child went. my kids are older now and i still very much want to know where they are.


+1. This isn't necessarily an "I don't trust my nanny" or "I am controlling" thing - it is also a liability thing. I don't need to know every step my nanny takes with my kids, hardly. I do need to know generally what they do during the day, most particularly in the beginning and I need to trust her judgment. The fact that you've only had this nanny for three months and she never asked you if she could pop by her house, and is staying there for up to an hour, multiple times a week (and especially that you've asked her to keep a log and she conveniently leaves this out) tells me she lacks the judgment needed, particularly with an infant that can't yet talk.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 11:01     Subject: Nanny using our car to visit her house with the baby during the day
Anonymous wrote:the fact that she takes your baby to her house for some time almost every day, and without telling you, would not be OK with me at all. you talk about gas and mileage and use of the car, but to me that issue is the safety of your baby. I would never ever allow my child, especially a baby, to go to some stranger's house. what if the nanny has a crazy DH or son who abuses your child? what if she has an older child who smacks your child too hard because the child is crying? what if she has a dog who can bite? what if the DH has a gun left around, or cleans the gun with the child around? I know I may sound paranoid, but these are all examples of real tragedies that happened in the DC areas, with kids injured or killed while in the care of a "good" nanny who had somebody around who waws not that good. when you let a nanny care for your child, you obviously need to trust her, but to me she should stay at my home or go to teh playground, to the zoo, take a walk. she would definitely not be allowed to go to somebody's house, including her own, without my knowledge and permission. I could not care less about the car, I would care about the child in her care


I personally do not think this is being paranoid at all. Accidents and other unfortunate events happen all the time and we cannot control everything. In my view if something happens to my child in a situation that I knew about and approved and the nanny was taking normal care and diligence in keepiong my child safe then I would not hold the nanny accountable for that unfortunate event. if on the other hand my child was injured in any way on an outing or in the presence of people I have not approved my child spending time with i would find it hard not to blame the nanny for the event. particularly if my child is being secretly taken somewhere. the fact that she does not put this in her log is very telling that she knows this is not ok. If she is popping home to do her own chores etc. with your child in tow I would be very annoyed unless she had pre-arranged it.

My first nanny years ago took my baby to a play date without telling me and came home and complained that the father of the child was home the entire time and smoking in front of the babies. Obviously not ideal. She has also arranged a play date with another nanny at our home without telling me with a much older toddler. My baby was 5 months old and our home was not yet fully child proofed. the toddler pulled over and smashed a lamp that was a wedding gift. he could have been hurt and thankfully was not but the family did not respond to request to talk about the incident, would not give their name or phone number to my nanny so we could chat about it and then their nanny stopped being in contact with mine, quickly.

We quickly agreed a policy that my child goes nowhere and no other child comes to my home without my knowlegde and preferrably me having a quick chat with the parents so that i can assess who is around, smoking, pets and otherwise and ages of kids. It felt over the top at the time but it was how i wanted to deal with the safety of my baby and the liability in our own home. two very important issues. that are so personal that no nanny should feel put out my a MB wanting to decide these for themselves, their family. This included everywhere my child went. my kids are older now and i still very much want to know where they are.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 10:08     Subject: Nanny using our car to visit her house with the baby during the day
No I did not. She never asks were I go. I don't write a log. Sometimes ill mention we went to the park or the library. But I don't tell her everything everyday.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 09:31     Subject: Nanny using our car to visit her house with the baby during the day
Anonymous wrote:I consider myself a good nanny and I have taken my charge to my house on 2 separate occasions over the last year. He is 18 months. I use my own car however and my house is a 15 min drive. Why did I do this ? He and I were bored I guess something different to do. My house has lots of new toys for him to play with. We were probably only there each time about 30 min. If she is doing this say weekly I would think its a problem. Once in a blue moon however might just be something to keep the child occupied like me.



Did you ask your MB or at least mention it?
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 09:31     Subject: Nanny using our car to visit her house with the baby during the day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You say she runs errands. I'm assuming she does this with the baby in tow. Have you ever, even once, said she could pick up something she needed while she was out running errands for you?


Why is this relevant? How would that make it ok to sneakily go to her house multiple times - enough that OP noticed the extra mileage?


BEcause if OP said, "pick up anything you need while you're out running errands for us", her nanny could have misunderstood.


I'm not trying to be argumentative, but I still don't see why if OP said "please feel free to pick up something you need while you're at the grocery store for me" that could in any way excuse someone from then taking that to mean "please feel free to take my baby to your house for up to an hour every day."
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 09:29     Subject: Nanny using our car to visit her house with the baby during the day
I consider myself a good nanny and I have taken my charge to my house on 2 separate occasions over the last year. He is 18 months. I use my own car however and my house is a 15 min drive. Why did I do this ? He and I were bored I guess something different to do. My house has lots of new toys for him to play with. We were probably only there each time about 30 min. If she is doing this say weekly I would think its a problem. Once in a blue moon however might just be something to keep the child occupied like me.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 08:45     Subject: Nanny using our car to visit her house with the baby during the day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You say she runs errands. I'm assuming she does this with the baby in tow. Have you ever, even once, said she could pick up something she needed while she was out running errands for you?


Why is this relevant? How would that make it ok to sneakily go to her house multiple times - enough that OP noticed the extra mileage?


BEcause if OP said, "pick up anything you need while you're out running errands for us", her nanny could have misunderstood.