It's great reading posts from these clean, organized nannies. I had a nanny who constantly had to be asked to clean up and would be quite defiant and rude when she was asked to do routine tasks like dishes and laundry. Clearly a bad hire in my part BUT she cheerfully agreed that these were absolutely tasks she always did and expected to do and only 1 of her 5 references noted she was not the cleanest nanny they had. Sometimes the job / employee is just not the right fit and it is best that everyone's expectations are understood. We ultimately parted ways with that nanny within a few months. I was prepared to work with her and give her the benefit of stepping up but the reality is she was not completely truthful in her interview about what she could handle and was prepared to do.
When you have had a good experience and a good fit you will wonder why you struggled through the the not good relationship for so long.

OP here. Thanks everyone for the feedback. I talked to the nanny and we are going to extend her time by 15 mins so she can finish any cleaning up that wasn't done.

The suggestions for making nap time earlier are good, the issue is that my older one is in preschool in the morning so by the time they get home and she makes lunch it's close to 2. Also the younger one usually ends up taking a short nap in the car to or from school so isn't ready to take a longer nap until close to 2.

I do think she's a great nanny and it wasn't a laziness issue, just a time issue.

Is there any way the children could go down earlier? Mist of my little ones have been done by 1pm.
I think she just needs to get a proper routine going. She needs to incorporate tidy up time before they have lunch. She should be able to tidy the pots etc as she goes so it just leaves their dishes etc. The kids can help clean up the kitchen or read books while nanny does so. Then follow the rule of only one toy at a time, tidy it away before nap. That way theres nothing to tidy when the kids are put down

it seems like the kids are going down late, I've never kids that go down past 12/1. But at any rate, I usually have the lunch dished done before putting the kids down...it shouldn't take more than a minute or two at the most. The toys should be picked up throughout the day. Is she letting dump out tins of different things at once? If so, tell her they need to pick up the blocks before they get the puzzles out. Just ask her to have toys picked up throughout the day so when lunch rolls around it will only take a minute to pick up which she can do while they're eating, or they can help her do before lunch, then I would ask her to have the lunch plates washed before putting then down. Then the bedtime routine should be streamlined to take ten min max.

You have 3 options:
1. Ask her to clean up before she puts the boys to bed. the boys can play on their own for 15 minutes
2. Move naptime to 2:15 so she has 15 minutes after they are down to clean up
3. Tell her the new time isn't working and can you readjust by 15 minutes so she stays until 2:45.

Your nanny should leave the house as clean or cleaner than she arrived. This is pretty basic.

as a neat freak MB I would love love love to hand over a spotless house to my nanny each morning and agree it would set the right tone and expectations. I unfortunately live with a husband that is on the "less detail oriented/willful blindness" side of the cleaning and organizational spectrum and kids who are at an age where every single game or thing they have is "special" and important AND needs to carry on for more than one hour, day, night ("please can I leave it I will start the game again tomorrow").
I also work long hours and often have to prioritize work in my evenings at home over chores. My home is far from the ideal I strive for in my mind.
I am trying to accept this is a phase in our current lives. So i am absolutely grateful when our nanny cleans up all the mess that happens during the day and tackles an item or two of mess she walked into as she came through the door. Is it perfect and spotless - no way.

Sometimes you just need to let the little things go and accept that the spotless house is not the priority if everyone is happy and life is mostly sort of under control.
The OP may have a nanny who is slacking off a bit but if she has the conversation with her hopefully she gets to bottom of that, she is also at a point where she needs help and maybe trying to get it from someone else in addition to the nanny (if you can organize it) would be useful too. And maybe trying not to let it get to you and letting go of the frsutration and anger would be good too - try to enjoy the ends of your pregnancy before the next baby comes.

Your nanny should be cleaning up her mess. That's really nice of you to have the house clean before she gets there. When I get to work in the morning it usually looks like a tornado hit every room in the house. I spend at least 2 hrs a day cleaning. I feel bad for the kids but in order for me to hand over a decent looking house it's what I have to do.

The nanny is making up excuses. A good nanny knows how to clean up while the kids are around and to get the kids to help her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you even asked your nanny why she had to move her end time back? Maybe her children's bus comes earlier. Maybe her childcare provider couldn't continue working. There are so many reasons why she may have changed the time. In your post you say "I think" she had to change the time because her children are out of school. Perhaps she has has a hardship occur in her life that requires she be with her children earlier. Before you jump to conclusions and get in a tizzy, ask her.

None of that should matter. She was hired to do a job, which she is not doing, at specific times, which she is not adhering to. How many other jobs would hire you for a 9-5 shift and then just suddenly be ok with you leaving at 4:30 without finishing your work? Her personal life is her personal life, and just because it happens to include kids shouldn't be a reason for OP to bend over backwards to accommodate her.

The nanny sure was accommodating to OP when she agreed to come in at a different time. It's a 2 way street.
If I had a boss who wouldn't return my kindness, I sure wouldn't want to do her any favors.
I would be very interested in hearing the nanny's side.
Something isn't adding up.

Read the original post, OP stated that it was agreed upon hiring the nanny that her hours would change when school started.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. PP, I almost put something in my first post to answer your questions because I knew people would ask, and rightly so. It's a good question. I actually am a really neat/clean person, I can't stand a mess or clutter so I always leave the house really neat in the morning. The kids are usually up for an hour at least before the nanny comes so I give them breakfast and then clean up from breakfast including wiping the table off and cleaning up any food on the floor. It's not easy for me to do those things but I don't feel that it's the nanny's job to clean up from a mess they made when she wasn't there. But conversely, that's why I get so irritated when I come home and have to clean up. I leave it neat and clean for her and think she should do the same for me.

So what about all of us who asked if you'd explicitly said she should have the kids play by themselves for 15 minutes while she cleans up? Have you done that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you even asked your nanny why she had to move her end time back? Maybe her children's bus comes earlier. Maybe her childcare provider couldn't continue working. There are so many reasons why she may have changed the time. In your post you say "I think" she had to change the time because her children are out of school. Perhaps she has has a hardship occur in her life that requires she be with her children earlier. Before you jump to conclusions and get in a tizzy, ask her.

None of that should matter. She was hired to do a job, which she is not doing, at specific times, which she is not adhering to. How many other jobs would hire you for a 9-5 shift and then just suddenly be ok with you leaving at 4:30 without finishing your work? Her personal life is her personal life, and just because it happens to include kids shouldn't be a reason for OP to bend over backwards to accommodate her.

The nanny sure was accommodating to OP when she agreed to come in at a different time. It's a 2 way street.
If I had a boss who wouldn't return my kindness, I sure wouldn't want to do her any favors.
I would be very interested in hearing the nanny's side.
Something isn't adding up.

Anonymous wrote:Have you even asked your nanny why she had to move her end time back? Maybe her children's bus comes earlier. Maybe her childcare provider couldn't continue working. There are so many reasons why she may have changed the time. In your post you say "I think" she had to change the time because her children are out of school. Perhaps she has has a hardship occur in her life that requires she be with her children earlier. Before you jump to conclusions and get in a tizzy, ask her.

None of that should matter. She was hired to do a job, which she is not doing, at specific times, which she is not adhering to. How many other jobs would hire you for a 9-5 shift and then just suddenly be ok with you leaving at 4:30 without finishing your work? Her personal life is her personal life, and just because it happens to include kids shouldn't be a reason for OP to bend over backwards to accommodate her.

Have you even asked your nanny why she had to move her end time back? Maybe her children's bus comes earlier. Maybe her childcare provider couldn't continue working. There are so many reasons why she may have changed the time. In your post you say "I think" she had to change the time because her children are out of school. Perhaps she has has a hardship occur in her life that requires she be with her children earlier. Before you jump to conclusions and get in a tizzy, ask her.

I should also add that the same goes for toys and things like that. As soon as the children go to sleep at night DH and I clean up the house. Sometimes in the hour before the nanny comes the children will pull out some toys and I do my best the get them to put things away as they are done with them so there isn't a big mess when she comes. Sometimes that involves me crawling around the floor hurriedly putting blocks away before the nanny comes and sometimes there are still some toys out but for the most part I try to have the house really neat when she comes. I even run around and make all the beds before she comes.

In regards to your post, I also think it would be totally understandable that if the children are awake when I come home there is going to be some mess that can't be helped and that's ok. My issue is that if the children are asleep the house should look like it did when I left.

I guess my 2 main issues are that:
1. I think she should be able to clean up the dishes from lunch.
2. I purposely wanted to make her end time at least 30 mins after the children go to sleep so she'd have time to clean up. She didn't want that so now the choices are, she stays 15 mins late or I clean up.

The dishes issue I think is easy enough to talk to her about but the other issue I'm not sure what to do about it. I will say, she's excellent with the children and aside from the cleaning up I think she's great. Also, on January when her hours increase I don't think this will be as much of an issue. On the few occasions when I've told her to put the children asleep early for their naps she does clean up because then she has time.