As a MB that is a manager / boss of people in the work place I still find managing the employer - employee relationship with my nanny to be a challenge as do many of the other women who are managers. I can see why the OP and others on this message board have challenges and find navigating the relationship difficult. It is a very intimate work relationship and the stakes feel extremely high.

telling an exployee to address their behavior or there will be consequences in a corporate environment seems far less fraught than having that same conversation with someone who is sitting in your home, caring for your beloved child. You simply want and need a good working relationship to have peace of mind. When things seem off its right to flag it but how those instances are addressed is very important. At the end of the day you hope to build and maintain a strong relationship with your nanny andwould never want to risk a situation where your nanny may be annoyed with you as an emplyer in a way that will impact the care for the children.

I agree that having a conversation with this nanny is important but if her attitude is off and she is prepared to exhibit this rude behavior you may have some fundamental differences that cannot be improved with a discussion, warning etc.