It really, really stinks, OP, but I agree with PPs that you need to pay her. We had a really bad experience with the first nanny we ever hired--also came with stellar references, great interview, did really well during a couple of brief trial runs. And then was really, really flaky and unprofessional. I wished for a long time that there was some sort of recourse we could take (aside from just giving an honest but terrible reference if ever called on), and ultimately, there hasn't been. I chalked it up as a learning experience and felt lucky that she left us before any damage was done to our kids. I hope your next nanny is wonderful (ours has been!)

Anonymous wrote:OP is not cut out to be an employer. Daycare is her better option.

OP here. I've been a nanny employer for 7 years and it's worked just fine, thanks. Great long term nannies, staying with us anywhere from 15 months - 4.5 years, the shorter term ones leaving because of relocation or marriage and still in touch. Our 4.5 year nanny left to go back to school, and only quit when her shill schedule was incompatible with ours. This new nanny has just utterly shocked me with her unprofessionalism and dishonesty.

I appreciate the helpful feedback of some of the other PPs. I do intend to pay her and don't intend at all to send her nothing. I was thinking primarily about the time she spent taking my kids to do her own business, plus the fact that the negotiated rate included certain tasks. Without those tasks it would be a different rate.

I don't usually get too upset about things but this woman was just outrageous. If I had behaves the way she did, I would slink away in shame and never make a peep about getting paid because I would know I had failed to do my job. I guess that's one of many ways in which she and I are different.

OP is not cut out to be an employer. Daycare is her better option.

Anonymous wrote:OP i doubt you'll get in any legal trouble if you don't pay her. Unless the nanny was super duper determined and went down to small claims, etc but many, after the anger fades, just forget about being dupped a few bucks.

Not saying its right just that i doubt you'll get in any legal trouble. Not impossible but unlikely.

Yep, that's a great reason not to do the right thing. I hope you're better than this OP. that nanny will reap what she sows, don't get wrapped up in her bad karma.

OP i doubt you'll get in any legal trouble if you don't pay her. Unless the nanny was super duper determined and went down to small claims, etc but many, after the anger fades, just forget about being dupped a few bucks.

Not saying its right just that i doubt you'll get in any legal trouble. Not impossible but unlikely.

Even though you were not happy overall w/her work performance OP, I would just go ahead and pay her what you owe her and be done w/her. If you withhold pay from her, you will only be asking for more and more problems. I would just count my losses and move on.

How did you get this woman, OP?

What a loser, you definitely dodged a bullet. Easier to just pay her and never see her again. She should never ever work as a nanny as she seems like a complete unprofessional dumbass.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would pay her. I would also call her professional references (assuming that they were not fakes, like her counsins paying former MBs) and tell them how horribly unprofessional this person was.

If I am providing a reference for somebody, for sure I would like to know if that person behaved like that, since I would not want to spend my name for such a person

This would be skirting some serious ethical and maybe legal lines. If you don't want to employ someone that is one issue, to sabotage their chances of future employment is just wrong. If a nanny has good references, they must have done something to earn them and an isolated incident is not a valid reason to jeopardize the rest of their career. Grow up.

skirting ethical lines? are you kidding me? if two people told me that the nanny is a very responsible and reliable person, why would it be unethical to let them know how she behaved? based on OP account (and assuming it was true), the nanny took the job and bailed out after four days, one hour and a half into a work day, lied, took the kids to her house without permission to run her own errands during work hours, and while she was paid, did not perform her duties. people can have problems and emergencies, but the way this nanny behaved shows that she is dishonest and unreliable. if I was a person who gave a reference for her, I would feel embarrassed.

skirting legal lines? sure, the nanny can sue you of you lie. but if you state the truth, I do not really see why it would be illegal.

Just pay her. Even if you paid her less than owed, it wouldn't save you much and could lead to a bigger headache. I might not pay for that last 1.5 hours on Wednesday, though.

Unfortunately, OP, you have to pay her for her hours, even though she would have ranked as "Needs Improvement" or even "Unacceptable" in a formal review. Hope your next nanny is a MASSIVE improvement.