Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No the OP is part of the problem. She shouldn't be bragging that she is "all wrapped up like a package ready to go" 15 minutes before her workday is finished. OP- you will not go far with ANY employer with this attitude. No one wants a nanny who is all ready to leave and bolts out the door the minute you walk in early.

Most employers will send you home early or engage in casual conversation with you. Some may not but this doesn't mean you should start clipping your day. Its incredibly unprofessional.

OP here: First of all she is sahm, so I don't bolt the moment she enters the house. Secondly this happens every single day twice a day (lunch and dinner) since I was employed. I stand about 3 feet from her and watch her eat and interact with her infant while I stand there. Every once in a while she will ask me to get her glass of water, another slice of bread or whatever she might need. Then its back to my position of standing there. I am never invited to eat with them. Honestly I feel like a slave and cannot wait to find something better and then I will leave. In the mean time I guess I have to suck it up.

Are you explicitly not invited to sit and eat with them? Or are you waiting for an invitation? This sounds horribly uncomfortable for all involved. So twice a day you stand motionless next to the table and watch her eat and interact with the baby? How would she react if you were to sit down and chat? If you asked her if there was something you could be doing? If you asked her at the end of one of the days what she would like you to be doing rather than just standing there?

Reading your updates, it sounds like you really dislike your job and are resentful of MB being a SAHM and don't feel useful. You definitely need to move on

I'm certainly not excusing her behavior and no one should ever be yelling at another adult, but have you tried being proactive? Are you the type of employee that does only literally exactly what you are asked to do and then stands there waiting for direction? Because that would drive me crazy too.

It sounds like this relationship is pretty much over anyway, but for your next job - no, you don't get to just announce that you're leaving 15 minutes early and expect your MB to be fine with it. You could most certainly ask, and a reasonable person will be happy to let you leave early a few times a year if you need to.

But also, be proactive. Don't just stand there staring at her for 15 minutes. Ask if there's anything you can help with. At least sit and chat with her and the baby. I'm just imagining you awkwardly standing there starting at me eating obviously just dying to leave - how infuriating that would be if it happened every single day when I'm paying someone to be working.

Was there somewhere you needed to be? If so, you could have said "would you mind if I head out a few minutes early today?" Definitely should just pack up and head for the door - very presumptious. Or could ask "is there anything else I can help with today" instead of using your own judgment to conclude you're perfect and have everything done. If your hours are til 530, your hours are til 530. It's more about seeming respectful to the people paying your salary than anything - you don't get to say "I'm done, I'm outta here." And by the way, your MB doesn't get to do that at her job either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing that you leaving early waas the straw that broke the camel's back. She has probably been silently stewing about you sitting like a package for the last 15 minutes of every day. You finished your daily chores but what is to stop you from interacting with the baby, talking to the mom about the day, thinking ahead to things you can prepare or organize for the coming days? Your MB watches you sitting there looking at your watch and knows that this is what you are doing WHEN SHE IS THERE figuring you're probably not a more enthusiastic nanny when she's not.

Really? If OP does everything needed, why does she need to do even more for the last 15 min if the day? OP is not a mind reader.

She's a SAHM. She pretty much is around to see OP all of the time.

OP- she makes you get her things while she eats?? I'm sorry dear but I would look for a new job now! That's absolutely spoiled of someone. If she needs someone to fill a glass of water for her or grab a slice of bread, she can hire a Butler. That just steams my rice.

Don't walk in the house super early. Sit down the street and listen to the morning radio or play on your phone until it is time to go inside.

I had an MB like that once. She used to ask me to stay late to help her with dinner while her husband was out of town. She'd have me cook, set the table, and STAND in the dining room, running back and forth to the kitchen to fetch things for her. My mother (I was 19 at the time) went biserk when she found out. The whole slave girl bit is enough of a reason in itself for you to quit OP. Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing that you leaving early waas the straw that broke the camel's back. She has probably been silently stewing about you sitting like a package for the last 15 minutes of every day. You finished your daily chores but what is to stop you from interacting with the baby, talking to the mom about the day, thinking ahead to things you can prepare or organize for the coming days? Your MB watches you sitting there looking at your watch and knows that this is what you are doing WHEN SHE IS THERE figuring you're probably not a more enthusiastic nanny when she's not.

Really? If OP does everything needed, why does she need to do even more for the last 15 min if the day? OP is not a mind reader.

She's a SAHM. She pretty much is around to see OP all of the time.

OP- she makes you get her things while she eats?? I'm sorry dear but I would look for a new job now! That's absolutely spoiled of someone. If she needs someone to fill a glass of water for her or grab a slice of bread, she can hire a Butler. That just steams my rice.

Don't walk in the house super early. Sit down the street and listen to the morning radio or play on your phone until it is time to go inside.

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing that you leaving early waas the straw that broke the camel's back. She has probably been silently stewing about you sitting like a package for the last 15 minutes of every day. You finished your daily chores but what is to stop you from interacting with the baby, talking to the mom about the day, thinking ahead to things you can prepare or organize for the coming days? Your MB watches you sitting there looking at your watch and knows that this is what you are doing WHEN SHE IS THERE figuring you're probably not a more enthusiastic nanny when she's not.

Really? If OP does everything needed, why does she need to do even more for the last 15 min if the day? OP is not a mind reader.

I'm guessing that you leaving early waas the straw that broke the camel's back. She has probably been silently stewing about you sitting like a package for the last 15 minutes of every day. You finished your daily chores but what is to stop you from interacting with the baby, talking to the mom about the day, thinking ahead to things you can prepare or organize for the coming days? Your MB watches you sitting there looking at your watch and knows that this is what you are doing WHEN SHE IS THERE figuring you're probably not a more enthusiastic nanny when she's not.

Don't get there 20 minutes early....I don't get that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No the OP is part of the problem. She shouldn't be bragging that she is "all wrapped up like a package ready to go" 15 minutes before her workday is finished. OP- you will not go far with ANY employer with this attitude. No one wants a nanny who is all ready to leave and bolts out the door the minute you walk in early.

Most employers will send you home early or engage in casual conversation with you. Some may not but this doesn't mean you should start clipping your day. Its incredibly unprofessional.

OP here: First of all she is sahm, so I don't bolt the moment she enters the house. Secondly this happens every single day twice a day (lunch and dinner) since I was employed. I stand about 3 feet from her and watch her eat and interact with her infant while I stand there. Every once in a while she will ask me to get her glass of water, another slice of bread or whatever she might need. Then its back to my position of standing there. I am never invited to eat with them. Honestly I feel like a slave and cannot wait to find something better and then I will leave. In the mean time I guess I have to suck it up.

This whole situation sounds bizarre. She's a SAHM with one child and also has a nanny? What do you do all day? And I ask this as an MB who works part-time and has a nanny occasionally on days when I'm not working, but I have 3 children. It sounds like you definitely need to find a new situation for many reasons including the way your MB reacted when you said you were leaving. However, I will also add that as annoying as it is to be all ready to go with nothing to do, you should always ASK before you leave early. NOT just announce that you are leaving. That's true for any job, not just a nanny position. The best thing to do would be to say, "I've finished doing X,Y,Z. I know it's only 5:15 so is there anything else you'd like for me to do?" If she says no then you can ask if you can leave. Or you can say, "well if there is nothing else you'd like for me to do is it ok if I leave a few minutes early."

I always let my nanny go as soon as I get home but if I was already at home I can't imagine ignoring her while she stands by the door waiting to leave. As soon as I saw she was done I'd tell her to go home but I also can't imagine not assuming my nanny would sit down and eat lunch with us as well. I can't picture a situation where the nanny would have to ask to leave because I would know if she was done and let her go, however, if for some reason I didn't realize she was done, I would be annoyed if she just announced she was leaving early without asking.

Find a new job.

Anonymous wrote:She shouldn't have yelled at you but what makes you think you can just skip out 15 minutes early? Bored or not, you're still on duty and you're being paid to be there. It's no ones fault but your own that you unecesarily (and probably annoyingly) show up 30 mins early

OP here: I would much rather be hour hour early then 10 min late. And it is not annoying to my boss since she always has something for me to do at 8 am.

Anonymous wrote:No the OP is part of the problem. She shouldn't be bragging that she is "all wrapped up like a package ready to go" 15 minutes before her workday is finished. OP- you will not go far with ANY employer with this attitude. No one wants a nanny who is all ready to leave and bolts out the door the minute you walk in early.

Most employers will send you home early or engage in casual conversation with you. Some may not but this doesn't mean you should start clipping your day. Its incredibly unprofessional.

OP here: First of all she is sahm, so I don't bolt the moment she enters the house. Secondly this happens every single day twice a day (lunch and dinner) since I was employed. I stand about 3 feet from her and watch her eat and interact with her infant while I stand there. Every once in a while she will ask me to get her glass of water, another slice of bread or whatever she might need. Then its back to my position of standing there. I am never invited to eat with them. Honestly I feel like a slave and cannot wait to find something better and then I will leave. In the mean time I guess I have to suck it up.

Most of these responses are bonkers. What the f is the point of OP standing there like a log doing nothing for 15 minutes. I had an MB who would do this as well, like she was milking me for every second of the day she could. Most human beings would rather not be paid for 15 minutes than stand there watching you eat dinner. Yes OP should have asked, but she has probably been in this situation day after day, waiting for MB to politely excuse her, with no results. I would have said something like "well you are all set with bottles and Lilly has been changed, I'm going to take off if there is nothing else you need". I would by no means have continued to sit there and do nothing, it is infuriating and very disrespectful on MBs part, wether or not she is the one paying you. And SERIOUSLY what is wrong with you (an abstract, collective you) that you would actually want to be home with your baby, who you have not seen all day, and eating dinner with another person just standing in the room? I will never get that kind of behavior.

She shouldn't have yelled at you but what makes you think you can just skip out 15 minutes early? Bored or not, you're still on duty and you're being paid to be there. It's no ones fault but your own that you unecesarily (and probably annoyingly) show up 30 mins early