Anonymous wrote:Very possible. It was not our first choice and we did it as an accommodation for our nanny, who was new to the area and couldn't afford to get an apartment. We agreed to have her live in only to help her out.

You'll want to hire a live-out next time, OP. It is much easier to get along with a nanny when you don't have to live with each other. I have a nanny who is wonderful with my child but does not share our religious views, diet or social choices.

Very possible. It was not our first choice and we did it as an accommodation for our nanny, who was new to the area and couldn't afford to get an apartment. We agreed to have her live in only to help her out.

Heck, your nanny might be sleeping with random women. Regardless, it's not your business unless she is unable to arrive at work ready to do her job.

That said, you've hit on the reason I wouldn't ever be (or hire) a LI nanny. Is it possible you just aren't able to handle having a LI?

If having a LI is essential for your family, you will need to speak with your nanny, apologize for not having had the foresight to establish ground rules before she started her job, and discuss your expectations, her expectations, and then determine if your work relationship can continue.

I would predict that if you try to set boundaries now, your nanny will leave. Then you'll need to discuss your house rules during the hiring process with prospective nannies to find someone who is willing to abide by your rules.

Because I expect a young person to be able to go out on dates and come home afterward? Who am I to contradict popular view on this message board. Will be sure to discuss with future candidates when we hire to ensure we have a common set of values and image of what it means to be a role model for our daughter.

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely want and expect her to pursue a personal life. Since when does that equate with spending the night with random guys (BTW, she does not have a boyfriend). Sorry, I do find walk of shame into a family home in the morning before work to be uncomfortable.

She has nothing to be ashamed of though. Sex feels good, women like to feel good, so women like to have sex to feel good. She's single, she's meeting her responsibilities, so there's nothing wrong with what she's doing. Personally, I am too sensitive to have sex with different guys without being in a committed relationship with them, so I never went through a phase of sleeping around. But I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with it. Nannies normally do not sign a morality clause. So it's fine.

Really OP. She tells you that she's sleeping at random guys places? Really? I somehow doubt that.

And yet another MB who shouldn't be an MB, and who certainly shouldn't have a live in nanny.

Will work on that.

Anonymous wrote:She tells me - and someone living in my home with my family and my child is indeed my business.

You have genuine control issues.

She tells me - and someone living in my home with my family and my child is indeed my business.

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely want and expect her to pursue a personal life. Since when does that equate with spending the night with random guys (BTW, she does not have a boyfriend). Sorry, I do find walk of shame into a family home in the morning before work to be uncomfortable.

The real reason finally emerges!
It sounds like a live-in nanny isn't the right choice for your family.
How do you know she is sleeping with random guys? How do you know she doesn't have a boyfriend?
Even if she doesn't...it's NONE of your business.
Worry about your own sex life.

I absolutely want and expect her to pursue a personal life. Since when does that equate with spending the night with random guys (BTW, she does not have a boyfriend). Sorry, I do find walk of shame into a family home in the morning before work to be uncomfortable.

Anonymous wrote:This the OP - When I was living with a family as a nanny (which I did when I was 19-21), I did not stay out all night when I had to work in the morning. Just didn't do it and didn't think it was appropriate.

So she should give up her personal life because "you just didn't do it and didn't think it was appropriate?"
You're not going to retain the services of a live-in nanny for long if you have a problem with her staying the night with her boyfriend.
Do you honestly feel that Your nanny shouldn't pursue a personal life because you're uncomfortable with it?

This the OP - When I was living with a family as a nanny (which I did when I was 19-21), I did not stay out all night when I had to work in the morning. Just didn't do it and didn't think it was appropriate.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, everyone. As for question 4 postings up, don't really stay out all night and then go to work. I'm pretty committed to work, so not really my thing.

So when you were younger you never slept at a friend's or bf's house? There is no indictation she us partying all night. More likely she is trying to be respectful and either not bring her boyfriend to your house or chance waking people up. But please, assume it means that she isnt committed to her job (even though her performance hasnt been impacted at all) and see how far it gets you.

Signed an mb who doesnt care what her nanny does in her off hours as long as it isnt illegal or impacts her care of my kids.