Anonymous
Post 08/29/2013 10:37     Subject: For the Parents Who Arrive Late......
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm probably late about 10 min about 1/3 to 1/2 of the time. I apologize and I do leave at the same time each day, it's just that traffic can vary. I give my nanny a day off when random things come up, or if I have an appt and can get home and let her go early, I do. I think it more than evens out to her end and if she tells me she has something going on and must leave ON TIME I make sure I leave early. I think she's happy. And frankly, she's better off letting it slide. I will be grateful and happy and make it up to her in other ways. If she needs a day off or has to go out of town I'm going to try my best to accomodate her (with pay, she has guaranteed hours) because she accomodates us.


Do you honestly believe that this is okay, or that there is truly nothing you could do better? The random time off here and there *may* make up for the actual time you owe her, but what about plans she's had to cancel or change, consequences of her not knowing when she will be off, the hesitancy to make plans after work because who knows if MB will get here on time, the inability to schedule work in the evenings because YOU are unreliable. Consider first, whether you would be happy with someone regularly disrespecting your time in this manner, and regularly being late to appointments with you, then stop assuming your nanny is happy about it and talk to her, and also apologize for this bad habit you've developed. Geez


I agree that the PP you quoted should just adjust the nannies end time by 10 mins but don't you think you are overreacting a little bit? She said she's 10 mins late and while that's annoying it doesn't make it so she has to cancel plans or not take other jobs in the evening. It's 10 mins and the nanny is paid for the extra 10 mins.


Do you live in the DC area? If not perhaps you don't understand the difference 10 minutes can make for a commute. A nanny leaving at 5 may run into moderate traffic, while leaving 10-15 minutes could have heavy bumper to bumper traffic, an accident, or whatever to contend with. If our bosses ran into traffic leaving much earlier than us, do you think its suddenly better for us or maybe much much worse?? Also if the PP is walking in 10 minutes late, her nanny is probably leaving 15-20 minutes late. I don't think I'm overreacting at all. If you can't predict when you'll be leaving you can't really accept other jobs now can you? Lots of plans have hard start times (movies, dinner reservations, even casually meeting up with friends can become an issue if you're constantly late because of your boss, picking up your kids from daycare, etc) Lets not be so nonchalant about disrespecting the time of others huh?
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2013 10:34     Subject: For the Parents Who Arrive Late......
Ten minutes late three getting home. Plus ten minutes debriefing adds up to an extra hour every week if PP is late half the time. If I were a nanny, I would add this as OT. I would also be looking for another job with a MB who was not thoughtless and inconsiderate.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2013 10:34     Subject: For the Parents Who Arrive Late......
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm probably late about 10 min about 1/3 to 1/2 of the time. I apologize and I do leave at the same time each day, it's just that traffic can vary. I give my nanny a day off when random things come up, or if I have an appt and can get home and let her go early, I do. I think it more than evens out to her end and if she tells me she has something going on and must leave ON TIME I make sure I leave early. I think she's happy. And frankly, she's better off letting it slide. I will be grateful and happy and make it up to her in other ways. If she needs a day off or has to go out of town I'm going to try my best to accomodate her (with pay, she has guaranteed hours) because she accomodates us.


Do you honestly believe that this is okay, or that there is truly nothing you could do better? The random time off here and there *may* make up for the actual time you owe her, but what about plans she's had to cancel or change, consequences of her not knowing when she will be off, the hesitancy to make plans after work because who knows if MB will get here on time, the inability to schedule work in the evenings because YOU are unreliable. Consider first, whether you would be happy with someone regularly disrespecting your time in this manner, and regularly being late to appointments with you, then stop assuming your nanny is happy about it and talk to her, and also apologize for this bad habit you've developed. Geez


I agree that the PP you quoted should just adjust the nannies end time by 10 mins but don't you think you are overreacting a little bit? She said she's 10 mins late and while that's annoying it doesn't make it so she has to cancel plans or not take other jobs in the evening. It's 10 mins and the nanny is paid for the extra 10 mins.


No where did it say she was paid the extra 10 minutes, and most likely, she is not. Were you a nanny, you would also know that MB getting home 10 minutes late in reality means that the nanny is leaving 20-25 minutes late with time for a rundown of the day and MB to settle in. I don't know about you, but if I was cheated out of over an hours pay every week, or conversely, I was late by a total of an hour every week, it would be a HUGE deal. Finally, in a big city where traffic or public transportation have to be factored in, 10 minutes could mean the difference in being able to make it to another job/class/plans with friends on time, or having to cancel all together.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2013 10:25     Subject: For the Parents Who Arrive Late......
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm probably late about 10 min about 1/3 to 1/2 of the time. I apologize and I do leave at the same time each day, it's just that traffic can vary. I give my nanny a day off when random things come up, or if I have an appt and can get home and let her go early, I do. I think it more than evens out to her end and if she tells me she has something going on and must leave ON TIME I make sure I leave early. I think she's happy. And frankly, she's better off letting it slide. I will be grateful and happy and make it up to her in other ways. If she needs a day off or has to go out of town I'm going to try my best to accomodate her (with pay, she has guaranteed hours) because she accomodates us.


Do you honestly believe that this is okay, or that there is truly nothing you could do better? The random time off here and there *may* make up for the actual time you owe her, but what about plans she's had to cancel or change, consequences of her not knowing when she will be off, the hesitancy to make plans after work because who knows if MB will get here on time, the inability to schedule work in the evenings because YOU are unreliable. Consider first, whether you would be happy with someone regularly disrespecting your time in this manner, and regularly being late to appointments with you, then stop assuming your nanny is happy about it and talk to her, and also apologize for this bad habit you've developed. Geez


I agree that the PP you quoted should just adjust the nannies end time by 10 mins but don't you think you are overreacting a little bit? She said she's 10 mins late and while that's annoying it doesn't make it so she has to cancel plans or not take other jobs in the evening. It's 10 mins and the nanny is paid for the extra 10 mins.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2013 10:03     Subject: For the Parents Who Arrive Late......
Anonymous wrote:I'm probably late about 10 min about 1/3 to 1/2 of the time. I apologize and I do leave at the same time each day, it's just that traffic can vary. I give my nanny a day off when random things come up, or if I have an appt and can get home and let her go early, I do. I think it more than evens out to her end and if she tells me she has something going on and must leave ON TIME I make sure I leave early. I think she's happy. And frankly, she's better off letting it slide. I will be grateful and happy and make it up to her in other ways. If she needs a day off or has to go out of town I'm going to try my best to accomodate her (with pay, she has guaranteed hours) because she accomodates us.


Do you honestly believe that this is okay, or that there is truly nothing you could do better? The random time off here and there *may* make up for the actual time you owe her, but what about plans she's had to cancel or change, consequences of her not knowing when she will be off, the hesitancy to make plans after work because who knows if MB will get here on time, the inability to schedule work in the evenings because YOU are unreliable. Consider first, whether you would be happy with someone regularly disrespecting your time in this manner, and regularly being late to appointments with you, then stop assuming your nanny is happy about it and talk to her, and also apologize for this bad habit you've developed. Geez
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2013 09:36     Subject: For the Parents Who Arrive Late......
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm probably late about 10 min about 1/3 to 1/2 of the time. I apologize and I do leave at the same time each day, it's just that traffic can vary. I give my nanny a day off when random things come up, or if I have an appt and can get home and let her go early, I do. I think it more than evens out to her end and if she tells me she has something going on and must leave ON TIME I make sure I leave early. I think she's happy. And frankly, she's better off letting it slide. I will be grateful and happy and make it up to her in other ways. If she needs a day off or has to go out of town I'm going to try my best to accomodate her (with pay, she has guaranteed hours) because she accomodates us.


If you're late up to half of the time, why don't you move the end time 15 mins later?


Why would she change the schedule when her nanny is "better off letting it slide". PP, just a thought, there is probably a lot of resentment building up as your nanny feels obligated to tolerate your lateness in exchange for you accommodating her (probably reasonable) requests for a few days off. Switch her end time and pay the woman for 2.5 more hours a week. Stop taking advantage of her kindness or your will find yourself in need of a new nanny.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2013 09:27     Subject: For the Parents Who Arrive Late......
To the regular late parents, its a crummy way to end a long day not having any control or knowing when you'll be off. Text or call us as soon as you can guess how late you'll be, that way we can let your children know and adjust our own plans accordingly. We are all waiting for you to come home, so please be considerate and let us know when you'll be home.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2013 09:10     Subject: For the Parents Who Arrive Late......
Anonymous wrote:I'm probably late about 10 min about 1/3 to 1/2 of the time. I apologize and I do leave at the same time each day, it's just that traffic can vary. I give my nanny a day off when random things come up, or if I have an appt and can get home and let her go early, I do. I think it more than evens out to her end and if she tells me she has something going on and must leave ON TIME I make sure I leave early. I think she's happy. And frankly, she's better off letting it slide. I will be grateful and happy and make it up to her in other ways. If she needs a day off or has to go out of town I'm going to try my best to accomodate her (with pay, she has guaranteed hours) because she accomodates us.


If you're late up to half of the time, why don't you move the end time 15 mins later?
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2013 09:05     Subject: For the Parents Who Arrive Late......
Anonymous wrote:I'm probably late about 10 min about 1/3 to 1/2 of the time. I apologize and I do leave at the same time each day, it's just that traffic can vary. I give my nanny a day off when random things come up, or if I have an appt and can get home and let her go early, I do. I think it more than evens out to her end and if she tells me she has something going on and must leave ON TIME I make sure I leave early. I think she's happy. And frankly, she's better off letting it slide. I will be grateful and happy and make it up to her in other ways. If she needs a day off or has to go out of town I'm going to try my best to accomodate her (with pay, she has guaranteed hours) because she accomodates us.


It sounds like you have a very give and take relationship with your nanny, so it works for you all. Although I personally think being late as often as you are says you likely need to leave earlier/schedule her to leave later. Being late half the time is really just unacceptable. That being said, you show your appreciation for that flexibility, while so many families who do this are the ungrateful using and abusing type families. There will be no extra days off, bonuses, etc. and if nanny complains or gives notice she is then branded as inflexible in her reference. Someone who isn't okay with you being late half the time is someone with a backbone, not inflexible.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2013 09:03     Subject: Re:For the Parents Who Arrive Late......
I think there is a difference between a nanny and a babysitter. I'm a former nanny and now do some babysitting on the side. I've had to long-term nanny bosses and they had a similar set up to PP. My day ended about 30 min after the "time it would take them to get home on a good day". Most days they were early and I left early, and the few days that they were running behind I got a call or text saying about how long they thought they were running behind.

For babysitting, I'm much more flexible. I understand how sometimes they get caught up in date night or dinner takes longer, etc etc. I pretty much only do weekend babysitting, and at 28 I'm comfortable with getting myself home at 1 in the morning. I haven't had anyone abuse my flexibility, and when they've arrived home late (past 1am) I have been compensated very well.

For both nannying and babysitting, I've had a 15 min. rule regarding compensation.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2013 08:53     Subject: For the Parents Who Arrive Late......
I'm probably late about 10 min about 1/3 to 1/2 of the time. I apologize and I do leave at the same time each day, it's just that traffic can vary. I give my nanny a day off when random things come up, or if I have an appt and can get home and let her go early, I do. I think it more than evens out to her end and if she tells me she has something going on and must leave ON TIME I make sure I leave early. I think she's happy. And frankly, she's better off letting it slide. I will be grateful and happy and make it up to her in other ways. If she needs a day off or has to go out of town I'm going to try my best to accomodate her (with pay, she has guaranteed hours) because she accomodates us.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2013 01:55     Subject: For the Parents Who Arrive Late......
Anonymous wrote:I think you should learn how to use parenthesis.

We live in the city and rely on cabs and public transportation. Sometimes there are delays. Sometimes it's hard to get a cab. People who live in a city understand that and roll with it. Nobody's getting stressed out by 10 minutes here. So we tell our nanny/babysitter that we'll be home around midnight, and that means anywhere between 11:30 p.m. and 12:30 a.m. If we got home at 12:45 then we'd tip extra for being 15 minutes late.


I disagree. I live in a city and that doesn't give you an automatic accepted excuse for just being late. If you say you will be home around midnight, then it should at least be around midnight that you are TRYING to get home (not 12:30am). If you say you will be home by 11pm, and are not making it in time due to bad traffic, waiting for a late bus, a cab that refuses to show after being called for 3 times, etc then you TEXT the sitter and let them know you are on your way but might be a bit late. If you say 11pm and get home at 10pm instead, you pay for that extra hour since she had planned on it and it might have affected her decision of choosing to go with you that night over another family.

Also, if the parents have plenty of time to get back by 6pm (as in I can take the bus with the kid, transferring once and get home before the mom and him do when she is driving) but are just not paying attention to the time, then I will not roll with it. If it happens so often that they get home past 6pm, then they need to look at that as not giving themselves enough time to get back home including traffic etc, and change the schedule to go until 6:15-6:30pm instead.
Anonymous
Post 08/28/2013 23:57     Subject: For the Parents Who Arrive Late......
Daycares are very strict about pick-up times. If a parent is stuck in traffic or whatever, they could care less. The parent gets charged and if no one can pick up the child, CPS gets called. Yet nannies are expected to just sit around and around, etc. These same nannies would be in the unemployment line if they were ten minutes late a few times a month, thus making the parents late for work.

Seems nannies are the ones who usually get the short end of the stick it seems.
Anonymous
Post 08/28/2013 13:39     Subject: For the Parents Who Arrive Late......
Anonymous wrote:I am an MB and I am never late. I get off at 5pm, and it takes me 30 minutes to get home. But since I know things come up and traffic varies, I have my nanny on (and pay her) until 6pm. Then when I get home at 5:30pm or 5:45pm, I have a few minutes to change by myself and then hear about the day before she leaves. And there has been a time or two that I've gotten home right at 6pm, and then I'm not stressed that I'm late. That's what I do.

If you're an MB who needs a little flexibility, I don't see why you wouldn't do it that way (really, it can't be that much to pay an extra half hour each day, can it?). Alternatively, you could say the nanny's end time was between 5pm and 6pm and that she will be paid in 15 minute round increments depending on actual departure time. That seems annoying to track though.

If I were a nanny and my bosses were repeatedly late (like more than once or twice a month), I would say something - "My end time is 6pm, and you have been home at 6:20pm five times this month. I make plans for after work assuming I'll be leaving at 6pm, and when you are late, it means I'm late for my afterwork plans. Additionally, it means that I am in your home for about an additional half hour for which I am not getting paid. Can we discuss some options for how to address this issue?" But then you also better be sure not to be late yourself after that conversation!


Agree with everything you've said. In addition I'd like to point out that any good nanny understands that there is a hand-over period when working with children and that punctuality is extremely important in our line of work. Most of us arrive 10-15 minutes early each day, add in an extra 10-15 minutes at the end of the day, we have a problem.
Anonymous
Post 08/28/2013 13:31     Subject: For the Parents Who Arrive Late......
I have to agree some people are miss using the word flexibility. Yes you have a nanny so you don't have to worry about the day care closing at 6:30 and you're speeding to dash thru the doors before than.

If your nannys end time is 6:30 it's 6:30, not whenever you want it to be.

Now the occasional lateness happens. Be respectful and call/text nanny hey huge traffic mess haven't moved an inch in 10 mins maybe late sorry. Don't just assume that because you have a nanny you CAN be late.

I'm in southern California and my MB occasionally has to drive a few hours north for her job. It's happened where an accident is on the freeway and she gets stuck in traffic. Sometimes thats the only road in and out of that area. She'll call and say if you can't stay so and so can come over.

Op if it's all the time - perhaps your end time can be moved to later?