Anonymous wrote:Co-sleeping is not necessarily bed-sharing. It can be sleeping in the same room

Yes, but the parents and child in question are not co-sleeping if the parents are in their bed and a different room to start, and only going into the other room to sleep on the floor as a way to get the kid to go back to sleep. Sleep training would just be easier and better for the child.

Co-sleeping is not necessarily bed-sharing. It can be sleeping in the same room

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

nannydebsays wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Just hourly. If nanny sleeps on the floor, that's her choice. No bonus for foolish decisions.

Yep, if the parents make stupid decisions, nanny just has to grit her teeth and suffer. No extra money, no nothing!

Ok Deb, it's not an ideal situation for a sitter - I get that. But I wouldn't call it a stupid decision. It's called co-sleeping and as a nanny you should support a boss's parenting choices instead of putting them down.

Sleeping on the floor beside a crib is NOT co-sleeping and it IS a dumb decision.

Says the 20-something babysitter with no kids of her own

These parents are doing what their child needs to feel safe and comforted at night. No one is being forced to take the job!

Um, no but nice try? Maybe google co sleeping since you're unclear on what it entails? Hint: not adults sleeping on the floor beside a crib.

Anonymous wrote:

nannydebsays wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Just hourly. If nanny sleeps on the floor, that's her choice. No bonus for foolish decisions.

Yep, if the parents make stupid decisions, nanny just has to grit her teeth and suffer. No extra money, no nothing!

Ok Deb, it's not an ideal situation for a sitter - I get that. But I wouldn't call it a stupid decision. It's called co-sleeping and as a nanny you should support a boss's parenting choices instead of putting them down.

Generally co-sleeping is done in a large bed, which allows the parents to sleep as well. Parents choosing to put their kid in a crib and sleep on the floor in his room, apparently without a mattress...not very bright. And I am not THEIR nanny, so I can kind of be as critical as I like.

Anonymous wrote:If you need to charge an hourly rate then do so, but do NOT send the child back to bed on his own when that is not what he is used to. That is traumatic and cruel. You are supposed to do what the parents have asked you to do, not take it into your own hands to "sleep train."

Again, ask for an hourly rate if that's what your require to do the job properly. Don't ask for a flat rate if that means going against the baby's routine and what the parents have asked of you...no matter how stupid you think it is.

It sounds like the parents just put him back to bed but stay there and sleep. I see no reason to stay there once he is asleep. Stay until he gets to sleep, then leave again. If he wakes up again, then go back. I don't see how him waking up crying with you in the room or in the other room makes a difference, if he is already awake again and crying.

Thank you everyone.

I took this job because I babysit him every so often. The parents planned a week get away. I agreed to watch him at night, take him to school etc. Than found out he still gets up. When we started talking pay. I told them I would get back to them (once I found out about his sleeping).

I talked to them today and told them I would take a flat rate (a little higher than my normal) plus hourly for any wake times (including nightwake ups).

I tried to talk to them about sleep training and they gave me tons of excuses oh his teeth, he doesn't feel well, we live in an apartment and the neighbors might complain, he needed water blah blah.
The big problem they are pregnant with #2 !

I know they are just trying to get by. Both parents work full-time by the time they get home its dinner, bath, bed. They are exhausted too. And yes its just easier to give in.

I can only give advice and hope something sticks but it's their choice and child.

If you need to charge an hourly rate then do so, but do NOT send the child back to bed on his own when that is not what he is used to. That is traumatic and cruel. You are supposed to do what the parents have asked you to do, not take it into your own hands to "sleep train."

Again, ask for an hourly rate if that's what your require to do the job properly. Don't ask for a flat rate if that means going against the baby's routine and what the parents have asked of you...no matter how stupid you think it is.

Sorry, PP here. I just saw he does this 3-4 times a night. Like another PP, I agree with having to do hourly rate all night long instead. They really need to do something about that.

Anonymous wrote:Op here

Thank you.

I took the job to help out a the family I babysit every once in a while. Not sure where nanny to this family came in?

The parents just told me they slept on the floor. No there is no guest room. I'll have the parents bed while I'm there. I could bring the child in bed with me, but I think I might sleep less.

To1535 what do you suggest I do? Let the child scream all night for a week? I am open to suggestions but again I am his babysitter I don't stay with him at night. I normally pick up from daycare and feed and bath til parents come home. If I let him scream I will be up all night and the children I do nanny during The day suffer because I'm exhausted.
Am I to sleep train him the week I am there even though his parents don't?

I wouldn't go and sleep in there. If the child wakes up, go and comfort him, and then tell him he needs to go back to sleep. Read a book, turn lights out and pat his back or something. Give him a bottle if it helps him. Then once child goes back to sleep, you go back to your room and bed.

I would charge a flat rate for the night BUT let parents know that the hours the child wakes up and makes you get up and then have to fall back asleep again will be added on extra at an hourly rate. Maybe that might give them the incentive to sleep train their child (it will only get worse and harder the older he gets, with the needing someone part, though he will gradually learn to not wake up).

If you think that your sleep might suffer and then you will not be at full energy for your actual nanny position the next day, then you need to consider if doing the overnights is worth it to you. It's a different story when the overnight is for the family you regularly nanny for, you and child can have a more lazy day if you both didn't sleep well.

If their child is such a pain to deal with a night, then having you (and perhaps others) turn down the overnights with them because of this MIGHT also get the parents to realize that they need a better working solution to their child's sleep habits and not just go and sleep next to them to make sure they don't cry. It is their job to do it (train them), not yours, but they might need to come to this realization when they can't find someone else that wants to do that sort of thing with their child.

Anonymous wrote:

nannydebsays wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Just hourly. If nanny sleeps on the floor, that's her choice. No bonus for foolish decisions.

Yep, if the parents make stupid decisions, nanny just has to grit her teeth and suffer. No extra money, no nothing!

Ok Deb, it's not an ideal situation for a sitter - I get that. But I wouldn't call it a stupid decision. It's called co-sleeping and as a nanny you should support a boss's parenting choices instead of putting them down.

No, co-sleeping is having your child sleep in your bed with you, or having their bed next to yours. It does not mean that when the child wakes up in the middle of the night that you go and sleep on the floor (whether on an air mattress or not) next to their crib. That is just crazy and stupid parenting.

OP, since this child is not going to sleep soundly all night, then by all means I would charge the regular hourly rate. You will be going to work every day sleep deprived if this child keeps you awake at night which sounds highly likely since also young children do not sleep well when the parents are not around.

If they parents balk, then so be it. Stick to your guns.

Bring him in the bed with you or see if you can side-car the crib. Or drag a matress into his room to sleep on

why not half you rate when you are sleeping and regular rate when he is awake but it in 30 minute time periods.


Don't sleep on the floor. I have had many in the bed with me… Id rather be kicked than lay on the floor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be sleeping and the baby will be sleeping so I think a flat rate is reasonable. A slightly higher flat rate than usual since it will require different sleeping arrangements.

Ummm, she will be sleeping on the floor, with a 2 year old she says isn't sleep trained and wakes up during the night. I doubt she will be sleeping much, or well. More than a "slightly higher" flat rate is needed, or an hourly amount that is fair.

I assumed there would be a matress on the floor.

From what I saw there is no mattress. He can get up three or more times during the night.