Anonymous
08/26/2013 11:25
Subject: Nanny dilemma
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think consistency is important but she sounds awful and for the price you are paying her she should be Mary Poppins
Some of you would hate a Mary Poppins, lol. You'd have to step in line. Imagine that.
Mary Poppins quits without notice, so yeah, she wouldn't get a second chance. Not so fabulous after all.
Anonymous
08/26/2013 10:12
Subject: Nanny dilemma
One of the deficiencies you mention would be understandable, but together your list sounds problematic. Some are not a really big deal (maybe it hasn't occured to her that you'd want her to make a snack for the older kid - if it's important to you, maybe that needs to be spelled out). Saturdays are a bigger deal, but if you are paying north of $20 and offering time and half for the Saturday date, you'd have no problem finding a great babysitter! The housework - I can see how she might not get everything done in 8/9 hrs a week (I am an inefficient housekeeper, I admit), so I guess it would depend to me on whether she was doing something during schools hours, or just seeing the time as an extended break. Neglecting to speak in Spanish would be a much bigger deal to me.
So all told, it may be time to consider whether your current nanny is the correct fit.
I assume that you consider her "great" because the kids like her and she plays with them well. If you like her enough that you want her to stay on, it might be time to discuss the items on your list and state that some of them are requirements. Speaking Spanish, for example, if something that is well within her abilities to do, and important to you, but for some reason she just chooses not to. So I wonder: if she understands that her continuing in the job depends on speaking in Spanish, perhaps she'll agree to do it. (Since she has more facility in Spanish, I wonder why she doesn't actually jump at the chance to stay in Spanish most of the time.)
I would not worry about her "not liking her job" just because you gave her a performance appraisal with some negative points. It could happen -- but her job involves getting such appraisals and being responsive to your needs. If she doesn't handle this with a good attitude, or is very reluctant, then she really isn't a good match.
Basically, you are paying very, very well, and for that, you should have a nanny who is responsive to your requests.
So all told, it may be time to consider whether your current nanny is the correct fit.
I assume that you consider her "great" because the kids like her and she plays with them well. If you like her enough that you want her to stay on, it might be time to discuss the items on your list and state that some of them are requirements. Speaking Spanish, for example, if something that is well within her abilities to do, and important to you, but for some reason she just chooses not to. So I wonder: if she understands that her continuing in the job depends on speaking in Spanish, perhaps she'll agree to do it. (Since she has more facility in Spanish, I wonder why she doesn't actually jump at the chance to stay in Spanish most of the time.)
I would not worry about her "not liking her job" just because you gave her a performance appraisal with some negative points. It could happen -- but her job involves getting such appraisals and being responsive to your needs. If she doesn't handle this with a good attitude, or is very reluctant, then she really isn't a good match.
Basically, you are paying very, very well, and for that, you should have a nanny who is responsive to your requests.
Anonymous
08/25/2013 23:53
Subject: Nanny dilemma
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think consistency is important but she sounds awful and for the price you are paying her she should be Mary Poppins
Some of you would hate a Mary Poppins, lol. You'd have to step in line. Imagine that.
No, they'd have to step in TIME..
Anonymous
08/25/2013 23:41
Subject: Nanny dilemma
Get an au pair and hire a housekeeper once a week.
Anonymous
08/25/2013 23:33
Subject: Re:Nanny dilemma
OP I think you may want to look at a few things if you have had similar experiences paying over market and getting a nanny that isn't very good.
1. You need to ask references what the nanny did during her down time, did she show initiative and take on things that she wasn't asked to do, did she ever make questionable requests (loans, asking for raises after only being there a few months, etc). You want to hire the nanny that an employer quickly talks about taking on new things, coming up with new ideas, and not wanting to sit around doing nothing.
2. Dont overpay in the beginning. I honestly think this is a signal to some nannies that you can pushed farther and farther. Its better to start out with a normal, market rate and then be generous with bonus and raises but always upfront to manage expectations.
3. Be very direct and responsive the first times your nanny crosses boundaries or does not perform her job. A good nanny will appreciate feedback because she wants to do a good job. You are attracting nannies who are testing you to see how much they can get away with and when you let something go you've lost completely.
4. If you are seeking a Spanish speaking nanny, do you also speak Spanish? If you don't I would recommend finding someone with better english so your nanny can't pretend not to understand you when you expect her to do work..I'm sure she understands you perfectly if you communicate something she wants to hear.
1. You need to ask references what the nanny did during her down time, did she show initiative and take on things that she wasn't asked to do, did she ever make questionable requests (loans, asking for raises after only being there a few months, etc). You want to hire the nanny that an employer quickly talks about taking on new things, coming up with new ideas, and not wanting to sit around doing nothing.
2. Dont overpay in the beginning. I honestly think this is a signal to some nannies that you can pushed farther and farther. Its better to start out with a normal, market rate and then be generous with bonus and raises but always upfront to manage expectations.
3. Be very direct and responsive the first times your nanny crosses boundaries or does not perform her job. A good nanny will appreciate feedback because she wants to do a good job. You are attracting nannies who are testing you to see how much they can get away with and when you let something go you've lost completely.
4. If you are seeking a Spanish speaking nanny, do you also speak Spanish? If you don't I would recommend finding someone with better english so your nanny can't pretend not to understand you when you expect her to do work..I'm sure she understands you perfectly if you communicate something she wants to hear.
Anonymous
08/25/2013 22:28
Subject: Nanny dilemma
Anonymous wrote:No one has called you a troll, OP.
You are overpaying for a nanny who simply isn't worth it and is not fabulous. Your concern about consistency is misplaced. Children adjust to new caregivers all the time. Agreeing to the demands of a substandard nanny for the sake of consistency is selling your children short. Your nanny will not be in the children's lives forever. They deserve the best care you can give them, not the services of a lazy nanny who makes your life more difficult.
This.
Get a new nanny. (And I agree w/ pp - don't give loans.)
You're going overboard and making it easy for people to take advantage.
Good luck w/ the search.
Anonymous
08/25/2013 22:06
Subject: Nanny dilemma
OP, stop giving loans to employees. Period. Do not ever do this again.
Anonymous
08/25/2013 22:05
Subject: Nanny dilemma
OP here. I assure you that this is a very real dilemma and I am quite upset about it too. Please don't belittle this to a troll accusation. As a matter of fact I hav given a lot if identifying information here. Anyone reading this who knows me will know exactly who I am.
The nanny works between 45 and 50 hours (a particularly busy week at work) a week.
As I said, all my nannies have been Spanish speaking from poor families in Latin America. The first one only need a car loan which we provided. The second one was the only working member of a large family and she needed a few loans for family related emergencies.
The loans themselves are not the issue. We never mind providing them. I only raised them to show that we try to make our nannies as comfortable as possible and yet there's always an issue. My point is no one is perfect so is there any point starting again? I do want my twins to have consistent child care with someone with whom they develop a strong comforting bond.
Maybe this is your problem OP. I understand wanting a Spanish speaking nanny, but maybe you need to look for someone more educated and experienced? You may have trouble with the full housekeeping requirement though.
Anonymous
08/25/2013 21:06
Subject: Nanny dilemma
Anonymous wrote:Thanks for all the feedback. I am leaning towards letting her go but she is so very good when she's doing what she wants to. I do think you are all right though. Now to start the search again- agh!!
Good luck to you, OP. Hope it works out.
Anonymous
08/25/2013 21:04
Subject: Nanny dilemma
Anonymous wrote:I think consistency is important but she sounds awful and for the price you are paying her she should be Mary Poppins
Some of you would hate a Mary Poppins, lol. You'd have to step in line. Imagine that.
Anonymous
08/25/2013 21:03
Subject: Nanny dilemma
Thanks for all the feedback. I am leaning towards letting her go but she is so very good when she's doing what she wants to. I do think you are all right though. Now to start the search again- agh!!
Anonymous
08/25/2013 20:51
Subject: Nanny dilemma
I think consistency is important but she sounds awful and for the price you are paying her she should be Mary Poppins
Anonymous
08/25/2013 19:20
Subject: Re:Nanny dilemma
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I understand OP's dilemma. At some point, you have to say, "enough is enough". How many nannies do we want our child to have, throughout the first years of life? Three, five, ten? What are the longterm consequences of instability?
Ah..its the queen of the nanny con artists. She sounds like the OP's nanny. This is utter bull shit and only something a bad nanny who hopes to prey on naive moms would believe. OP you should not continue to employ this person who is taking advantage of you and do everything you can to not hire another one like this.
Your kids will not miss this nanny AT ALL. Reality is that kids transition really well between nannies. We had a nanny move away. We really liked her and vice versa but the kids were perfectly fine with the new nanny.
And what do you know of "attatchment", Einstein?
At least OP has some awareness...
Anonymous
08/25/2013 19:19
Subject: Nanny dilemma
No one has called you a troll, OP.
You are overpaying for a nanny who simply isn't worth it and is not fabulous. Your concern about consistency is misplaced. Children adjust to new caregivers all the time. Agreeing to the demands of a substandard nanny for the sake of consistency is selling your children short. Your nanny will not be in the children's lives forever. They deserve the best care you can give them, not the services of a lazy nanny who makes your life more difficult.
You are overpaying for a nanny who simply isn't worth it and is not fabulous. Your concern about consistency is misplaced. Children adjust to new caregivers all the time. Agreeing to the demands of a substandard nanny for the sake of consistency is selling your children short. Your nanny will not be in the children's lives forever. They deserve the best care you can give them, not the services of a lazy nanny who makes your life more difficult.
Anonymous
08/25/2013 18:33
Subject: Nanny dilemma
Anonymous wrote:OP, there has to be more to the story.
How many hours (excluding the Saturdays) does the nanny work each day/each week?
Even if she works 50 hours a week, to net $1000 per week she's probably making more than $22 per hour.
I don't know where you are finding these nannies but my gosh, you can do better!
You're offering:
more than $22/hr
nearly 9 hours of free time each week (some of which needs to be spent cleaning, but unless you live in a mansion it should only take 2-3 hours)
4 weeks paid vacation
1 week paid sick
health insurance
loans? Why the heck does she need loans?
This can't be real. Unless you and your husband are an absolute nightmare and your kids are little hellions, there is no way you shouldn't be able to find a dozen people better.
OP here. I assure you that this is a very real dilemma and I am quite upset about it too. Please don't belittle this to a troll accusation. As a matter of fact I hav given a lot if identifying information here. Anyone reading this who knows me will know exactly who I am.
The nanny works between 45 and 50 hours (a particularly busy week at work) a week.
As I said, all my nannies have been Spanish speaking from poor families in Latin America. The first one only need a car loan which we provided. The second one was the only working member of a large family and she needed a few loans for family related emergencies.
The loans themselves are not the issue. We never mind providing them. I only raised them to show that we try to make our nannies as comfortable as possible and yet there's always an issue. My point is no one is perfect so is there any point starting again? I do want my twins to have consistent child care with someone with whom they develop a strong comforting bond.