2-3 weeks is adequate notice OP!! Really. Don't let them sucker you into giving any more no matter what you agreed to. So you agreed to more time? What will they do to you? Take you to court? Throw the book at you? Highly unlikely they would get a cent anyway and it wouldn't even be worth their time.

I would give my notice NOW and take the other job.
One caveat:
It is highly likely this family will either a). Fire you on the spot now or b). Make your next few weeks unbearable.

So be prepared.
I agree with your advice.

Go with your gut.

She's trying to guilt you into staying. Ignore it. If you let her know she's getting to you she'll keep doing it...just like a child who's found the right button to push.

Just keep repeating, "My final day is X. I was presented with an opportunity I couldn't turn down." That's all you say whenever she brings it up. Eventually she'll get the hint and realize that trying to get you to stay is futile. And if she doesn't, who cares. You'll be on vacation next week and only working one more day for her when you return.

And make sure she doesn't get ahold of your new employer's contact information.

She keeps bringing up the contract! And honouring my word to her family. I honestly can't seem to politely shut her down
I have presented her with options for a new nanny and have even wrote to a few about her family. People are available to start now. She says the kids will be hurt and won't have a smooth transition period( I don't agree. Her kids don't even like me! As long as they have someone that plays with them they will be okay!)

Anonymous wrote:Well she is really trying to make me hold to my "word" and she wants to speak with my new employer.
Things seemed to be good as she had asked me to stay but I said I could not. I have been going thru nanny ads to try to find someone. I guess she has too!
I honestly just want to be completely done.. But I will go back next week and the day after I get home. I know she will guilt me more in person and I will have to be strong. I am a total people pleaser.. This is very hard! Any advice

Whatever you do make sure you DO NOT give your new employer's contact information to the employer you are leaving. That is a recipe for disaster in this situation. Your current employer will likely end up costing you the new job as the new employer will not want to deal with crazy ex-MB drama.

Stand firm in your decision. "As I've stated before, my last day will be X. I'm sorry I'm unable to give you more notice, but I couldn't pass up this opportunity."

Good luck.

Don't let her drag your new employer into this mess.

Well she is really trying to make me hold to my "word" and she wants to speak with my new employer.
Things seemed to be good as she had asked me to stay but I said I could not. I have been going thru nanny ads to try to find someone. I guess she has too!
I honestly just want to be completely done.. But I will go back next week and the day after I get home. I know she will guilt me more in person and I will have to be strong. I am a total people pleaser.. This is very hard! Any advice

You might have a partial refund given in most cases, but not a full refund. Also, vacation pay is legally hers and she could sue for that.

Anonymous wrote:Lot of bad advice on this thread.

2-3 weeks is adequate notice.

Yes, of course you return the money you did not rightfully earn! How crazy to think its yours to keep for not working or as severance- you are QUITTING not losing your job. Don't end up in court over this. Seriously. Plus, in the nanny world news travels fast and families Ted to be interconnected more than you think. Maybe not an issue for THIS job but don't be naive enough to think karma will never bite you in the ass. It will. Many of my bosses have ended up linked to each other in some way. Some had worked together previously, some knew the other by lving in same neighborhood, etc. Keeping the money is immoral, unethical, and possibly illegal. Be smart.

And for the same reasons- do not tell a family you don't like their kids or your new job is more lucrative. Keep it short, simple, thank them for the opportunity to work for them and share in their lives. If you must give a reason than be careful what reason you give and how you say it.

At some point your reputation truly will precede you- what would you want a future dream job to hear about you? Be conscientious, think ahead, and don't burn bridges.

As a PP that mentioned not returning money, she said that she would be working through the end of the month (with the 2-3 weeks notice). Her vacation was pre-planned and already ok'd. It would be paid time off that she has already earned. Legally, that is HERS. If the parents decided to fire her when she gives notice, then it would be really rude to ask for the money back that she had earned (her vacation time) and what she was saying she was available to do still (the time after vacation until the end of the month). Also, I am not too sure that the courts would make the nanny give the money back if the parents were going and prepaying for her services at the beginning of each month. They were paying to have her keep her schedule clear which she did, and to ask for money back IF they FIRED HER (which is what would be happening if she didn't finish out the month, it would not be her just quitting anymore) then that shows what kind of people they are.

Also a great reason why you should never prepay for services. In most cases it is usually a retainer or a non-refundable deposit, holding her time and requesting services and you might owe the person more money still but you don't take the money back from them. You wouldn't hire a nanny for an extended overnight situation for a week, state you will pay her x amount and give it to her in advance, then show back up at home 2 days later and expect her to give you the rest of the money back because you decided to come home early even though she was still able to be there for the full 7 days. You don't pay in advance for a week long vacation at Disneyland for a specific price and then have a child get sick so you come home early and expect Disney to refund your money because you decided to cut your vacation short. Do all airlines give you full refunds when you can't make your flight? So why should the nanny who is ABLE to fulfill her obligations of the rest of the month have to give money back?

Don't return the vacation pay, its yours.

Anonymous wrote:So I am paid thru to the end of the month. I am available to work next week. So I will. Then I should pay back the following week? Then go back for the first day of Septemer? Then be done

You should tell her ASAP, offer to work any dates that you can between vacation and your start date, and return the money for any days that she does not have you work. The vacation is a grey area, but if I were you, I would return the vacation pay as well, so that you can walk away with a clear conscience.

So I am paid thru to the end of the month. I am available to work next week. So I will. Then I should pay back the following week? Then go back for the first day of Septemer? Then be done

Lot of bad advice on this thread.

2-3 weeks is adequate notice.

Yes, of course you return the money you did not rightfully earn! How crazy to think its yours to keep for not working or as severance- you are QUITTING not losing your job. Don't end up in court over this. Seriously. Plus, in the nanny world news travels fast and families Ted to be interconnected more than you think. Maybe not an issue for THIS job but don't be naive enough to think karma will never bite you in the ass. It will. Many of my bosses have ended up linked to each other in some way. Some had worked together previously, some knew the other by lving in same neighborhood, etc. Keeping the money is immoral, unethical, and possibly illegal. Be smart.

And for the same reasons- do not tell a family you don't like their kids or your new job is more lucrative. Keep it short, simple, thank them for the opportunity to work for them and share in their lives. If you must give a reason than be careful what reason you give and how you say it.

At some point your reputation truly will precede you- what would you want a future dream job to hear about you? Be conscientious, think ahead, and don't burn bridges.

Anonymous wrote:Op again!
I'm not sure the best way to submit my notice... I've been prepaid for the month... Is that her loss or mine? Do I need to pay her back? How does this work with my vacation hours? I had them booked and my vacation is planned so I'm mt able to get out of it. Do I just go back for the 2 days next week? Or pay her back?
I'm still thinking the best way to do this...

No one prepays for services that have not been used yet, that is just crazy. If someone does this, it is basically saying that you have guaranteed hours and get paid whether you work them or not. If you plan on working the next 2 weeks (well, the week after your vacation which would normally be paid for), then I see no problem in letting them know that you are not available as of Sept 1st. You will be working the week you normally would be, having your vacation which was going to be paid for anyways, and if they were to drop you as soon as you gave notice, I would consider that last 2-3 weeks pay as your severance pay then.

move on and don't look back

Thanks PP!
Do I have to pay for the vacation time too? Just wondering what the general though in that is