Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here I think this post has taken a different tune. I am not upset about how I am much I am paying her to work. I am upset about how she handled the situation. If she had come to me and said, " I really need a little but more money to pay me bills. Can we please work something out? " I would not even blink and eye. I would have paid her because I do think she is doing a good job and it is not a lot of money in the long run.
I am just taken back by her ultimatium. I am planning on talking to her about it directly. But, I was just wondering how others would handle it. I would like her to be happy, but at the same time I don't want to be a push over.

MB here who leads a large team of people at her job. I am yet to see a perfect employee. I mean a person who is always happy and enthusiasitic, never late on anything, always two steps ahead of me, etc. And I can sincerely say that the folks on my team are great. They are humans however. Once in a while almost everyone might have an attitude. A person could be stressed out, tired, had a bad day, whatever... Personally, I would think twice before letting go of someone who is doing a great job and has shown an attitude once. Great people are hard to find. Perhaps, it makes sense to talk to her and see if the situation can still be worked out?

But the nanny isn't great!
Let's look at the nanny's "Great" qualities:
*poor attitude
*can't do basic math (difference between 40 and 50 hours)
*won't admit when she's confused about a new situation (50 vs 40 hours, again)
*doesn't drive
*doesn't speak English well.

....this is a no brainer OP. Drop her. You can find a better nanny, who your child will love, easily.

I don't know how she presented it to you but that would make a difference in how I handled it.

If she said she hadn't fully considered how the drop in income would affect her and she needed $50 a week more and here are three options (pay it, start a new share, let her find another position) I would pay it if I liked her and wanted to keep her.

If she said it was so unfair and you need to fix this or she's quitting, I'd let her quit and find a new nanny.

Anonymous wrote:Op here I think this post has taken a different tune. I am not upset about how I am much I am paying her to work. I am upset about how she handled the situation. If she had come to me and said, " I really need a little but more money to pay me bills. Can we please work something out? " I would not even blink and eye. I would have paid her because I do think she is doing a good job and it is not a lot of money in the long run.
I am just taken back by her ultimatium. I am planning on talking to her about it directly. But, I was just wondering how others would handle it. I would like her to be happy, but at the same time I don't want to be a push over.

MB here who leads a large team of people at her job. I am yet to see a perfect employee. I mean a person who is always happy and enthusiasitic, never late on anything, always two steps ahead of me, etc. And I can sincerely say that the folks on my team are great. They are humans however. Once in a while almost everyone might have an attitude. A person could be stressed out, tired, had a bad day, whatever... Personally, I would think twice before letting go of someone who is doing a great job and has shown an attitude once. Great people are hard to find. Perhaps, it makes sense to talk to her and see if the situation can still be worked out?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We did pay her a lower rate in our share due to the language barrier and that she cannot drive.

OP you are overpaying BIGTIME for a nanny that doesn't drive and can't speak english. Nannies with these deficiencies can barely find jobs offering $10-$12. $17 is unheard of for a nanny who lacks basic communication and driving skills.

PP - I do not think you are correct. I pay our nanny $17 for one kid. She does not speak English at all and does not drive. My child is growing speaking two languages. I can communicate with the nanny because I speak her language as well. This nanny takes care of my DS really well and he loves her. She also goes above her agreed upon duties and cleans our house during nap times. She is never hesitant to help us out. I remember a post on here with a nanny complaining about being asked to clean out a car she is driving her charges in. Our nanny saw how messy my car once and offered to clean it for me. Why would not I pay $17 per hour?

And I'm sure you took her up on it? Why would you allow or expect your nanny to clean after you? That's ridiculous. So just because your nanny uses the car that is also driven by you and your kids when she's off means she is expected to clean it? Oh and I'm sure you leave your dinner dishes overnight for her to do the next morning? And stick your dirty clothes in the kids laundry pile too?

Why are you so bitter and angry?

Sounds to me like she's been burned more than once and is now learning healthy boundaries. It's great when parents don't take advantage of kind-hearted nannies, but that isn't the norm in the real world. The more educated parents better understand that the nanny's thoughtfulness doesn't constitute their adding additional expectations to her job description.

Too many parents make that grave mistake.

I would find her attitude and approach quite problematic OP. You were upfront and clear with her and she did not handle it well.

Your comfort level with her and a good working relationship going forward is as important as your child(s) relationship with her. Her behavior would seriously damage the relationship with me.

And, as others have said, for the money you are paying you could probably find many, many candidates who drive, are fluent in English, would do light housework etc...

I'm not saying you shouldn't keep her if you want to, but you absolutely shouldn't feel like you don't have plenty of options.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We did pay her a lower rate in our share due to the language barrier and that she cannot drive.

OP you are overpaying BIGTIME for a nanny that doesn't drive and can't speak english. Nannies with these deficiencies can barely find jobs offering $10-$12. $17 is unheard of for a nanny who lacks basic communication and driving skills.

PP - I do not think you are correct. I pay our nanny $17 for one kid. She does not speak English at all and does not drive. My child is growing speaking two languages. I can communicate with the nanny because I speak her language as well. This nanny takes care of my DS really well and he loves her. She also goes above her agreed upon duties and cleans our house during nap times. She is never hesitant to help us out. I remember a post on here with a nanny complaining about being asked to clean out a car she is driving her charges in. Our nanny saw how messy my car once and offered to clean it for me. Why would not I pay $17 per hour?

And I'm sure you took her up on it? Why would you allow or expect your nanny to clean after you? That's ridiculous. So just because your nanny uses the car that is also driven by you and your kids when she's off means she is expected to clean it? Oh and I'm sure you leave your dinner dishes overnight for her to do the next morning? And stick your dirty clothes in the kids laundry pile too?

Why are you so bitter and angry?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We did pay her a lower rate in our share due to the language barrier and that she cannot drive.

OP you are overpaying BIGTIME for a nanny that doesn't drive and can't speak english. Nannies with these deficiencies can barely find jobs offering $10-$12. $17 is unheard of for a nanny who lacks basic communication and driving skills.

PP - I do not think you are correct. I pay our nanny $17 for one kid. She does not speak English at all and does not drive. My child is growing speaking two languages. I can communicate with the nanny because I speak her language as well. This nanny takes care of my DS really well and he loves her. She also goes above her agreed upon duties and cleans our house during nap times. She is never hesitant to help us out. I remember a post on here with a nanny complaining about being asked to clean out a car she is driving her charges in. Our nanny saw how messy my car once and offered to clean it for me. Why would not I pay $17 per hour?

And I'm sure you took her up on it? Why would you allow or expect your nanny to clean after you? That's ridiculous. So just because your nanny uses the car that is also driven by you and your kids when she's off means she is expected to clean it? Oh and I'm sure you leave your dinner dishes overnight for her to do the next morning? And stick your dirty clothes in the kids laundry pile too?

You got it all wrong. She never cleaned my car. She was carrying enough to offer to do it. We also tidy our house up every night so when she shows up in the morning she comes to a nice place. I walk into a nice house every night after work and make sure she walks into a nice house every morning. My whole point was about how great and helpful our non-driving and non-English speaking nanny is. I feel it makes perfect sense to pay her what we do. I also wonder about your reading comprehension. My nanny does not obviously use the car driven by me. As I stated in my post, she does not drive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We did pay her a lower rate in our share due to the language barrier and that she cannot drive.

OP you are overpaying BIGTIME for a nanny that doesn't drive and can't speak english. Nannies with these deficiencies can barely find jobs offering $10-$12. $17 is unheard of for a nanny who lacks basic communication and driving skills.

PP - I do not think you are correct. I pay our nanny $17 for one kid. She does not speak English at all and does not drive. My child is growing speaking two languages. I can communicate with the nanny because I speak her language as well. This nanny takes care of my DS really well and he loves her. She also goes above her agreed upon duties and cleans our house during nap times. She is never hesitant to help us out. I remember a post on here with a nanny complaining about being asked to clean out a car she is driving her charges in. Our nanny saw how messy my car once and offered to clean it for me. Why would not I pay $17 per hour?

And I'm sure you took her up on it? Why would you allow or expect your nanny to clean after you? That's ridiculous. So just because your nanny uses the car that is also driven by you and your kids when she's off means she is expected to clean it? Oh and I'm sure you leave your dinner dishes overnight for her to do the next morning? And stick your dirty clothes in the kids laundry pile too?

Op here I think this post has taken a different tune. I am not upset about how I am much I am paying her to work. I am upset about how she handled the situation. If she had come to me and said, " I really need a little but more money to pay me bills. Can we please work something out? " I would not even blink and eye. I would have paid her because I do think she is doing a good job and it is not a lot of money in the long run.
I am just taken back by her ultimatium. I am planning on talking to her about it directly. But, I was just wondering how others would handle it. I would like her to be happy, but at the same time I don't want to be a push over.

Sorry, I can't believe people who hire a "nanny" with imperfect English skills. It seems irresponsible to me.

Any correlation with the current explosion of speech therapy?

As your child gets older, you are more likely to need someone who drives and speaks English. For that pay, you can afford someone with both of these skills. Why drag out with someone who doesn't fit your (most likely)future needs, who is resentful of your pay, who may nickle and dime you whenever possible, who seems immature, etc.

OP, I'd find another nanny. I don't like the way your nanny has handled this, or her tone (as least as how you've framed it). The rate you are paying is MORE than fair for one child in this market, and significantly higher than I would expect to pay for someone who can't drive, doesn't do light housework, etc...

Our nanny is legal, mature, reliable, has her own minivan, does all the kids' laundry, meals, and some very light cleaning of kitchen, and we adore her and completely trust her. We have twin toddlers (she's been with us since their infancy) and we pay less than you. Montgomery County just outside DC.

You can do better in rate, attitude, service and stress. At least she gave you time to work it through, though you shouldn't need that long to replace her.

Good luck!

If you have lots of discretionary money then throwing away an extra $13,000-$18,000 by paying a $10-$12 nanny, $17 an hour, more power to you.

IMO, $10-$12 is high or even hard to find for someone who can't communicate and can't drive. Now, the OP knows that in addition to this her nanny has an unprofessional attitude and is manipulative. Demanding an extra $2600 when you are already being paid thousands more than you could find in another job is pretty ballsy. The nanny is playing off her perception that the OP will just give in. Let her walk and get a better nanny.

Anonymous wrote:OP cares about her child and the established relationship with the nanny. Sometimes that's really the most important thing.

OP, few nannies can afford a pay reduction without somehow making it up. I suspect she's worried about making ends meet.

What is her current pay?

Anonymous wrote:I'd get someone new, because she's stupid. She was too stupid to multiply her hourly rate you were offering by the number of hours of work you needed and look at the answer and not realize she'd wind up earning less money because it's fewer hours.

You sound lovely and tolerant. I just amazed how you can label a person as stupid based on just a few paragraphs about them you read on an anonymous forum