Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dumb dumb dumb.

1) Your kids don't give a crap if your nanny is gay or straight or bi or trans or short or tall or dark or fair or fat or thin or Christian or atheist. They will only care if you TEACH them to care, to label people and think of them differently. So don't do that. They should be thrilled to be a part of their beloved nanny's big day, they don't care if it's a "gay" wedding or not (I mean really, "a 'gay' wedding"??).

2) You're pissed that she only "just" told you? Since when is your employee's personal life any of your business? Particularly when the revelation of that personal life might turn you against her? I never told my employers I am an ardent atheist when I lived in the south - do you think they'd have been offended if I invited them to my secular wedding because GASP HOW COULD I NOT HAVE TOLD THEM SOONER? Maybe. Doesn't make it wrong for me to keep it private, though, just like your nanny has every right to decide how much to disclose to you.

This woman needs to get over herself.

+3

That mom in this situation is not "fairly liberal", she's just using that as a facade. Anyone who would not approve of their child viewing a same-sex marriage is a bigot.

Anonymous wrote:Dumb dumb dumb.

1) Your kids don't give a crap if your nanny is gay or straight or bi or trans or short or tall or dark or fair or fat or thin or Christian or atheist. They will only care if you TEACH them to care, to label people and think of them differently. So don't do that. They should be thrilled to be a part of their beloved nanny's big day, they don't care if it's a "gay" wedding or not (I mean really, "a 'gay' wedding"??).

2) You're pissed that she only "just" told you? Since when is your employee's personal life any of your business? Particularly when the revelation of that personal life might turn you against her? I never told my employers I am an ardent atheist when I lived in the south - do you think they'd have been offended if I invited them to my secular wedding because GASP HOW COULD I NOT HAVE TOLD THEM SOONER? Maybe. Doesn't make it wrong for me to keep it private, though, just like your nanny has every right to decide how much to disclose to you.

This woman needs to get over herself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The boys are 5-17 and they may be uncomfortable at a gay wedding even if the parents have never said anything negative about being gay. We live in an internationally diverse area and I've been pretty shocked at how how many families openly tell their kids that being gay is unacceptable. Even though we live in a highly educated, liberal area my kids are unique in thinking same sex couples are normal while their friends openly make comments about how it is unacceptable.

If this hasn't been a regular topic of discussion then the kids may have formed other opinions. If this is the case, its not appropriate to make them be in the wedding.

+1

And I don't blame the mom for being shocked if she never had an inclanation her nanny was gay. Anyways, if she doesn't want her kids in the wedding, that's her right and the nanny shouldn't feel offended.

You're not allowed to say whether someone should or shouldn't feel offended. We're all entitled to our feelings, even when they aren't rational (although in this case, the nanny's offense would be completely rational).

You would be offended if your boss didn't want her kids in your wedding? A little oversensitive here aren't we? Yes, it would be offensive if the boss objected to the marriage, but she can choose or not to choose to have her kids in a wedding if she feels

You are just...

I didn't say I would be offended, I said in THIS case THIS nanny's offense would be justified because the MB would be refusing to allow her boys to participate in the wedding either because 1) it is a "gay" wedding (whatever she means by that) or 2) she felt entitled to know about her nanny's sexual preferences earlier than she did and is pissy about it. Either reason for declining an invitation to a wedding is offensive, but especially so when one of the brides IS YOUR CHILDREN'S NANNY who clearly loves them. I would not describe her nanny as oversensitive for being offended by this MB's reaction.

I do have some choice words I'd use to describe you, though...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The boys are 5-17 and they may be uncomfortable at a gay wedding even if the parents have never said anything negative about being gay. We live in an internationally diverse area and I've been pretty shocked at how how many families openly tell their kids that being gay is unacceptable. Even though we live in a highly educated, liberal area my kids are unique in thinking same sex couples are normal while their friends openly make comments about how it is unacceptable.

If this hasn't been a regular topic of discussion then the kids may have formed other opinions. If this is the case, its not appropriate to make them be in the wedding.

+1

And I don't blame the mom for being shocked if she never had an inclanation her nanny was gay. Anyways, if she doesn't want her kids in the wedding, that's her right and the nanny shouldn't feel offended.

You're not allowed to say whether someone should or shouldn't feel offended. We're all entitled to our feelings, even when they aren't rational (although in this case, the nanny's offense would be completely rational).

You would be offended if your boss didn't want her kids in your wedding? A little oversensitive here aren't we? Yes, it would be offensive if the boss objected to the marriage, but she can choose or not to choose to have her kids in a wedding if she feels

Anonymous wrote:I agree, of course a nanny would never be required to share their personal life with their employer. This said, nannying is a very personal job and many nannies, including myself, become very close with their charges and MB/DB. After being with a family for years, I would love to share special events in my life with my nanny family. If, after sharing the invite with my nanny family, I found out they would not be comfortable with their children being involved in my personal life and wedding just because it was a same sex wedding, I would leave my position as their nanny because I would feel their family is no longer a good fit for me. I would not feel comfortable hiding a huge milestone in my life, such as my wedding, with my charges that are old enough to understand that love is love. I would want to be with a family who holds the same values I do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The boys are 5-17 and they may be uncomfortable at a gay wedding even if the parents have never said anything negative about being gay. We live in an internationally diverse area and I've been pretty shocked at how how many families openly tell their kids that being gay is unacceptable. Even though we live in a highly educated, liberal area my kids are unique in thinking same sex couples are normal while their friends openly make comments about how it is unacceptable.

If this hasn't been a regular topic of discussion then the kids may have formed other opinions. If this is the case, its not appropriate to make them be in the wedding.

+1

And I don't blame the mom for being shocked if she never had an inclanation her nanny was gay. Anyways, if she doesn't want her kids in the wedding, that's her right and the nanny shouldn't feel offended.

You're not allowed to say whether someone should or shouldn't feel offended. We're all entitled to our feelings, even when they aren't rational (although in this case, the nanny's offense would be completely rational).

Anonymous wrote:Yes, the mother is being very disrespectful to her nanny. If she truly cared about her, this should make no difference at all. She should be happy to have someone who cares about her children so much she would want them involved in her wedding. Teach you children to love! Her nanny obviously loves them!