Anonymous
Post 08/04/2013 20:04     Subject: AP constantly telling us what is better about her country
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op, tell us what you eat and we will tell you if it is healthy or not. For now use this as an opportunity to overhaul your familys eating habits


It doesn't matter what we eat. If we ate McDonald's every night, it would still be rude to tell us that we and everyone else in the country she has chosen to live in for the year are disgusting and fat and everyone in her country eats healthfully all the time and would never eat the junk we eat. As it is, we're vegetarian, get and use a weekly CSA, and our children have never a single time eaten at McDonald's. Since that's the case, she could approach it as an interesting conversation about eating habits generally in her observation rather than being rude and dismissing everyone in an entire country as being the same.

I disagree. We need to pick good habits from people, not bad. It is terrible to be used to healthy food and then be made to eat unhealthy food. Just because you are vegetarian, does not mean you eat healthy.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2013 20:39     Subject: AP constantly telling us what is better about her country
Anonymous wrote:Op, tell us what you eat and we will tell you if it is healthy or not. For now use this as an opportunity to overhaul your familys eating habits


It doesn't matter what we eat. If we ate McDonald's every night, it would still be rude to tell us that we and everyone else in the country she has chosen to live in for the year are disgusting and fat and everyone in her country eats healthfully all the time and would never eat the junk we eat. As it is, we're vegetarian, get and use a weekly CSA, and our children have never a single time eaten at McDonald's. Since that's the case, she could approach it as an interesting conversation about eating habits generally in her observation rather than being rude and dismissing everyone in an entire country as being the same.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2013 18:44     Subject: AP constantly telling us what is better about her country
Op, tell us what you eat and we will tell you if it is healthy or not. For now use this as an opportunity to overhaul your familys eating habits
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2013 20:18     Subject: AP constantly telling us what is better about her country
Anonymous wrote:When I first came here I was appalled at the bread. Now I have a bread mashine and cannot do without it.

But I agree on Americans eating unhealthy. The stores sell mostly processed junk. Elsewhere the regulations on additives and colorants are more strict, and the food is generally better, so eating healthy is easier


Ok, but saying something the way you said it is fine. It's an observation that I agree is generally factual. It's saying "all Americans eat such awful food - in my country, everyone eats healthy and they would never touch this crap" that puts people on the defensive. It's saying "ugh, this bread is disgusting!" Rather than asking if there's something different. That's all.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2013 19:06     Subject: AP constantly telling us what is better about her country
When I first came here I was appalled at the bread. Now I have a bread mashine and cannot do without it.

But I agree on Americans eating unhealthy. The stores sell mostly processed junk. Elsewhere the regulations on additives and colorants are more strict, and the food is generally better, so eating healthy is easier
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2013 18:17     Subject: AP constantly telling us what is better about her country
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Having an opinion and sharing it are two different things. Anyone with a modicum of grace and social awareness knows that constantly (or even occasionally) disparaging a country where you are a guest is ill mannered.


I agree with this. The other thing that gets me is the generalizations about entire large countries (hers and ours) based purely on experiences in our one city and her one village. Our au pair is very close-minded and doesn't seem to have a world view. I've heard that my au pair can't believe how poorly American's eat, how healthy everyone in her country eats. (really? everyone? all the time?) I've heard how they don't have "this soft, sliced, tasteless" bread in her country, in her country everyone eats delicious crusty bread all the time. (would you like me to point out where we can purchase different bread at the store if you don't like the kind we keep in the house? Also, I've been to her country, albeit not to her village, and they do have the same kind of sliced bread.) In her country, hair stylists are highly regulated so everywhere you go, you can get a really great haircut for less than $10. (shocker - getting your haircut in a large American city is more expensive than getting it cut at the one place in your tiny village; but let's try something other than Hair Cuttery if you want a great cut).



Ha, I hear you about the haircuts and bread issue! It's funny that our AP who makes similar generalizations also focuses on those two issues! On the bread issue - I actually hear this from a lot of Europeans, or generally from people who come from towns where the culture/way of life is that families shop for each meal every day - stopping at the market on the way home from work to buy fresh bread, veggies, etc. each day. Yum - totally wish I could do that, but unfortunately don't have the time. We explain to our au pairs who have the fresh bread issue that we don't do this because we just don't have time to shop for each meal everyday, even though that would be tastier and involve less preservatives. So we buy sliced bread that will last us the week. Interestingly, when we have bought good fresh bread on occasion, it just goes stale - the AP doesn't eat it! (But that is also another cultural/family issue; we do not have family dinners most nights because of work schedules and kids' ages. If you have a big family dinner each night, you might finish a loaf of fresh bread with each dinner.)


The trick here is to invite the AP to bake some fresh bread each day! I happily would keep the house stocked with flour and yeast if she wants to whip some up while I'm at work and the kids at school!


You jest, but we had one AP who actually did that! On her own initiative. Yum!
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2013 16:20     Subject: AP constantly telling us what is better about her country
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Having an opinion and sharing it are two different things. Anyone with a modicum of grace and social awareness knows that constantly (or even occasionally) disparaging a country where you are a guest is ill mannered.


I agree with this. The other thing that gets me is the generalizations about entire large countries (hers and ours) based purely on experiences in our one city and her one village. Our au pair is very close-minded and doesn't seem to have a world view. I've heard that my au pair can't believe how poorly American's eat, how healthy everyone in her country eats. (really? everyone? all the time?) I've heard how they don't have "this soft, sliced, tasteless" bread in her country, in her country everyone eats delicious crusty bread all the time. (would you like me to point out where we can purchase different bread at the store if you don't like the kind we keep in the house? Also, I've been to her country, albeit not to her village, and they do have the same kind of sliced bread.) In her country, hair stylists are highly regulated so everywhere you go, you can get a really great haircut for less than $10. (shocker - getting your haircut in a large American city is more expensive than getting it cut at the one place in your tiny village; but let's try something other than Hair Cuttery if you want a great cut).



Ha, I hear you about the haircuts and bread issue! It's funny that our AP who makes similar generalizations also focuses on those two issues! On the bread issue - I actually hear this from a lot of Europeans, or generally from people who come from towns where the culture/way of life is that families shop for each meal every day - stopping at the market on the way home from work to buy fresh bread, veggies, etc. each day. Yum - totally wish I could do that, but unfortunately don't have the time. We explain to our au pairs who have the fresh bread issue that we don't do this because we just don't have time to shop for each meal everyday, even though that would be tastier and involve less preservatives. So we buy sliced bread that will last us the week. Interestingly, when we have bought good fresh bread on occasion, it just goes stale - the AP doesn't eat it! (But that is also another cultural/family issue; we do not have family dinners most nights because of work schedules and kids' ages. If you have a big family dinner each night, you might finish a loaf of fresh bread with each dinner.)


The trick here is to invite the AP to bake some fresh bread each day! I happily would keep the house stocked with flour and yeast if she wants to whip some up while I'm at work and the kids at school!
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2013 11:25     Subject: AP constantly telling us what is better about her country
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Having an opinion and sharing it are two different things. Anyone with a modicum of grace and social awareness knows that constantly (or even occasionally) disparaging a country where you are a guest is ill mannered.


I agree with this. The other thing that gets me is the generalizations about entire large countries (hers and ours) based purely on experiences in our one city and her one village. Our au pair is very close-minded and doesn't seem to have a world view. I've heard that my au pair can't believe how poorly American's eat, how healthy everyone in her country eats. (really? everyone? all the time?) I've heard how they don't have "this soft, sliced, tasteless" bread in her country, in her country everyone eats delicious crusty bread all the time. (would you like me to point out where we can purchase different bread at the store if you don't like the kind we keep in the house? Also, I've been to her country, albeit not to her village, and they do have the same kind of sliced bread.) In her country, hair stylists are highly regulated so everywhere you go, you can get a really great haircut for less than $10. (shocker - getting your haircut in a large American city is more expensive than getting it cut at the one place in your tiny village; but let's try something other than Hair Cuttery if you want a great cut).



Ha, I hear you about the haircuts and bread issue! It's funny that our AP who makes similar generalizations also focuses on those two issues! On the bread issue - I actually hear this from a lot of Europeans, or generally from people who come from towns where the culture/way of life is that families shop for each meal every day - stopping at the market on the way home from work to buy fresh bread, veggies, etc. each day. Yum - totally wish I could do that, but unfortunately don't have the time. We explain to our au pairs who have the fresh bread issue that we don't do this because we just don't have time to shop for each meal everyday, even though that would be tastier and involve less preservatives. So we buy sliced bread that will last us the week. Interestingly, when we have bought good fresh bread on occasion, it just goes stale - the AP doesn't eat it! (But that is also another cultural/family issue; we do not have family dinners most nights because of work schedules and kids' ages. If you have a big family dinner each night, you might finish a loaf of fresh bread with each dinner.)
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2013 09:19     Subject: AP constantly telling us what is better about her country
Anonymous wrote:Having an opinion and sharing it are two different things. Anyone with a modicum of grace and social awareness knows that constantly (or even occasionally) disparaging a country where you are a guest is ill mannered.


I agree with this. The other thing that gets me is the generalizations about entire large countries (hers and ours) based purely on experiences in our one city and her one village. Our au pair is very close-minded and doesn't seem to have a world view. I've heard that my au pair can't believe how poorly American's eat, how healthy everyone in her country eats. (really? everyone? all the time?) I've heard how they don't have "this soft, sliced, tasteless" bread in her country, in her country everyone eats delicious crusty bread all the time. (would you like me to point out where we can purchase different bread at the store if you don't like the kind we keep in the house? Also, I've been to her country, albeit not to her village, and they do have the same kind of sliced bread.) In her country, hair stylists are highly regulated so everywhere you go, you can get a really great haircut for less than $10. (shocker - getting your haircut in a large American city is more expensive than getting it cut at the one place in your tiny village; but let's try something other than Hair Cuttery if you want a great cut).

Anonymous
Post 07/26/2013 08:59     Subject: AP constantly telling us what is better about her country
Having an opinion and sharing it are two different things. Anyone with a modicum of grace and social awareness knows that constantly (or even occasionally) disparaging a country where you are a guest is ill mannered. I've lived in many different counties, several of which had many REALLY disagreeable characteristics, and I have kept negative opinions to myself. This has allowed me to make many friends and enjoy truly amazing hospitality in places ranging from an indigenous village in Central America to a very poor neighborhood in Damascus.

Interestingly, it has frequently been my experience that while many Americans tend to be more monolingual than Europeans, we also tend to be --- in my experience --- better at adapting to other cultures and keeping our opinions to ourselves, with the result that Americans, particularly those of us who speak several languages --- tend to be less standoffish and better able to fit in to other cultures.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2013 22:06     Subject: AP constantly telling us what is better about her country
My new au pair from Finland does this all the time and its tiring.

I hope I can make it through it / see beyond it, but it is highly irritating.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 03:12     Subject: AP constantly telling us what is better about her country
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This. Is the au pair Eastern European or German? They tend to be very ethnocentric and prejudiced against Americans as a defense mechanism to feeling inferior. Once I confronted my APs head on and assured them that I was not superior and respected their home countries, they knocked it off.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..........................oh Lord.............

I wish I could see their faces while you assure them that you are not superior.


You sound like an inferior AP or a troll. Nobody has a gun to your head to keep you in the US. In fact, we prefer you leave and take your bad attitude with you.


+1
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 03:11     Subject: AP constantly telling us what is better about her country
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This. Is the au pair Eastern European or German? They tend to be very ethnocentric and prejudiced against Americans as a defense mechanism to feeling inferior. Once I confronted my APs head on and assured them that I was not superior and respected their home countries, they knocked it off.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..........................oh Lord.............

I wish I could see their faces while you assure them that you are not superior.


I fully agree with the previous poster you quoted. Lets face it, there is over 100 countries yet most almost always have something to say about 'Americans' as if they're the only people in the world. Do you think we don't notice? I actually have come to enjoy the haters
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 18:45     Subject: AP constantly telling us what is better about her country
OP, just show some interest. It will pass
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2013 01:51     Subject: Re:AP constantly telling us what is better about her country
OP, it's called acculturation. Your AP lacks tact, but many immigrants go through stages of comparing things. I used to always tell people :"Well, in MYCOUNTRY, we do this". I talked about MYCOUNTRY because it's all I knew, but now, years after I don't compare or bring in Mycountry in every conversation. Don't take it personally.