Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is none of your business. You are not the parent, of course you wouldn't be spanking

Most nannies are in fact doing the majority of the parenting work, while the bioparents sit in their downtown offices.
Sorry.

I'd want to try be best before I left this situation, so I'd gather some information for them. They are hitting out of total ignorance.

Don't speak as me.

I said, "I'd", not you, so what are you talking about?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is none of your business. You are not the parent, of course you wouldn't be spanking

Most nannies are in fact doing the majority of the parenting work, while the bioparents sit in their downtown offices.
Sorry.

I'd want to try be best before I left this situation, so I'd gather some information for them. They are hitting out of total ignorance.

Don't speak as me.

Anonymous wrote:There is a fine line between spanking and abuse.
Spanking reinforces to a child that if they continue to do as they please and not follow authority, they will feel it where it hurts. Abuse is when someone is physically assaulting a child for no logical reason....when the anger is unwarranted or out of control.

If spanking is ever outlawed, you bet this world will be full of a bunch of self-entitled brats. Wait and see. I promise.

Anyway, it is NONE of your business how anyone else raises their kids OP.
I am against certain issues myself, but I am hired to do as the parents wish and what they do when I am not there is truly none of my business.

Get over it.

Spanking is show to have negative effects on child development. It also teaches children that that violence solves problems. "Don't hit your sister", and then you spank them? It's ludicrous.

OP if it is at the point where you can no longer work for them then yes, sit down and talk to them. With that said, of course they're allowed to spank and you aren't (however much I disagree with spanking personally) and it is not something you have to "be on the same page about" so long as they also use time outs and loss of privilege and whatever else YOU use too.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm trying to understand what reality you're living in. You do not agree with how the parents are disciplining their child and you think your wishes should trump theirs?

I understand that they did not plan on spanking, but parents have the right to change their minds and do what they feel is best. They're not asking you to do anything differently (it would not only be inappropriate but also illegal for you to spank the child) so it's not really any of your concern

Untrue. In more than half the states in the US corporal punishment is perfectly legal by parents and schools. So a nanny doing it would not be illegal.

I think it is OPs concern if the parents are of the mind that they cannot effectively discipline without spanking, yet expect OP to do so. I'm not saying OP should also spank, but they are clearly no longer on the same page and are sending mixed messages to an already challenging kid. The parents have made their parenting choice and have every right to do so, no matter how ineffective or uninformed it may be, but have also shown that they are open to OPs ideas.

OP, I wouldn't give them literature about the evils of spanking, but what about researching some alternative methods for the specific discipline problems you all are facing and asking the parents what they think of you trying it? This is a great opportunity to teach them through example that a child can be effectively disciplined without force. Teachers maintain order without force, while some of their students are more than likely spanked at home. You can do this, and maybe the parents will follow your lead when they see that it works.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm trying to understand what reality you're living in. You do not agree with how the parents are disciplining their child and you think your wishes should trump theirs?

I understand that they did not plan on spanking, but parents have the right to change their minds and do what they feel is best. They're not asking you to do anything differently (it would not only be inappropriate but also illegal for you to spank the child) so it's not really any of your concern

Get off your power trip, and try to think of the child for a change. Take a cue from the OP nanny who is doing just that.

OP, I'm trying to understand what reality you're living in. You do not agree with how the parents are disciplining their child and you think your wishes should trump theirs?

I understand that they did not plan on spanking, but parents have the right to change their minds and do what they feel is best. They're not asking you to do anything differently (it would not only be inappropriate but also illegal for you to spank the child) so it's not really any of your concern

Anonymous wrote:If the parents want you to stay and are open to discussion you can suggest alternate approaches you'd like to try and see if they are willing/interested.

But giving them literature to educate them? No. Not your place, not the right attitude with which to approach it, and overstepping your role.

You're perfectly within your rights, and have been utterly upfront about your position, to leave if this isn't the right fit for you. Then the parents will have to deal with that in addition to figuring out discipline for the child.

One could argue that by the nanny not spanking it's doing just as much. The spanking debate could go on here for ever and ever. But what's important is that nanny and parents are on the same page. If you not spanking the child is causing issues then you need to start looking for new work unless you're willing to spank or they're willing to stop. But all in all it's their call, they're their kids.

*my

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is none of your business. You are not the parent, of course you wouldn't be spanking

Most nannies are in fact doing the majority of the parenting work, while the bioparents sit in their downtown offices.
Sorry.

I'd want to try be best before I left this situation, so I'd gather some information for them. They are hitting out of total ignorance.

If the parents want you to stay and are open to discussion you can suggest alternate approaches you'd like to try and see if they are willing/interested.

But giving them literature to educate them? No. Not your place, not the right attitude with which to approach it, and overstepping your role.

You're perfectly within your rights, and have been utterly upfront about your position, to leave if this isn't the right fit for you. Then the parents will have to deal with that in addition to figuring out discipline for the child.

I am completely against spanking and this is a good example of why. Clearly it isn't working and actually is making the situation worse.

Unfortunately I don't think saying anything to the parents will help though and I agree you probably need to find another job that is a better fit for you.

Anonymous wrote:This is none of your business. You are not the parent, of course you wouldn't be spanking

Most nannies are in fact doing the majority of the parenting work, while the bioparents sit in their downtown offices.
Sorry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a fine line between spanking and abuse.
Spanking reinforces to a child that if they continue to do as they please and not follow authority, they will feel it where it hurts. Abuse is when someone is physically assaulting a child for no logical reason....when the anger is unwarranted or out of control.

If spanking is ever outlawed, you bet this world will be full of a bunch of self-entitled brats. Wait and see. I promise.

Anyway, it is NONE of your business how anyone else raises their kids OP.
I am against certain issues myself, but I am hired to do as the parents wish and what they do when I am not there is truly none of my business.

Get over it.

You are spineless, otherwise known as a doormat.

It has nothing to do with being a doormat. You're hired help, not a parent. If you don't like the parents methods and it affects you this much then find employment elsewhere but don't go printing up side effects. You'd be crossing the line. Get a clue and stay professional and MYOB!

7:58, Please define your perception of a doormat.