Anonymous wrote:New question -- how does this work if the nanny has her own suite that includes a full kitchen? Do you still provide a stipend or buy her groceries, or just bump up her salary a bit?

You could still do a stipend, but I think most would just lump it in with salary. The difference is that a stipend is meant to allow the nanny to supplement some basic staples that the family keeps on hand, whereas with a kitchen, you would be more likely to expect that he nanny not be eating ANY of the family's food, but would instead be wholy responsible for her meals.

New question -- how does this work if the nanny has her own suite that includes a full kitchen? Do you still provide a stipend or buy her groceries, or just bump up her salary a bit?

My employers buy all the basic staple items: bread, rice, potatoes, pasta, milk ect as part of my contract. I buy all all the rest of the stuff I eat. They offer me foods they have cooked often and I am encouraged to feel free to eat what ever I cook the toddler.

This works really well for us because they are a carb heavy family and I don't eat a ton of carbs. They also eat things often that I am not keen on and for this reason as well it works out. They also buy some of the things I eat because when they go a grocery store run (especially in the middle of the week) they always ask if there is anything I want.


This works really well for us. I also knew how it was going to work when I was offered the job. I would not have accepted this set up if the salary was on the lower side. For example the last family I worked for paid less - but all food was included as part of my live in package.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You tell her to put on the shopping list what she needs. Can we please grow up a little?

I did this with my current nanny and she went overboard with her list. There should be limits.

You need to limit her grocery list, but you leave your kid with her?? Are you nuts??

Don't pull that guilt trip. You nannies are gluttons and lazy. I wouldn't give you anything to eat with that entitled attitude.

And you MBs are uptight and frugal. See? I can generalize, too. Why do you have a nanny if you think so poorly of them?

Oh, it's the "entitled nanny" troll.

For someone who isn't a nanny, and doesn't have a nanny you sure are on here a lot.

Who are you? A mb bitch?

This is actually quite common. Most families don't allow almost everything the nanny wants to be bought. There are things like the basics above that are provided, and then anything else that the family buys on a regular basis already. If there is something else the nanny usually likes, then I have always worked it out with the MB and decide what will get bought (like I prefer a different brand of yogurt, or I like my vitamin water etc). But they will not go and buy me just anything I want, if I want cookies or an expensive vegetable, ice cream that they don't have, a $5 pack of tortelloni, then I buy that stuff myself. I wouldn't expect them to buy a $7 can of mixed nuts just for me to eat, but they might buy that if others in the household like it as well and we all share it.

This is more reasonable. Groceries can get very expensive if the nanny can buy anything, isn't reasonable, and doesn't have any responsibility to pay. If she's reasonable, this works out fine.

PP do you actually spend $75 a week on groceries in addition to eating with the family and anything in the house? It doesn't sound possible for one person to be eating this much. I would guess that you have a good amount of the $75 stipend leftover as just extra cash.

Our nanny is live out and eats lunch/snacks here. We spend about $125 a week total on groceries for 2 adults, 2 kids and nanny;s lunch/snacks. We buy plenty of produce and meat so its not cheap food. We don't spend much on junk food or lots of pre-made expensive foods.

So op should have an unlimited grocery budget for the nanny? Whatever.

OP, I am a live in and get a $75/wk stipend for groceries and I can eat whatever I want from my employers' kitchen.

This sounds like a reasonable solution.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You tell her to put on the shopping list what she needs. Can we please grow up a little?

I did this with my current nanny and she went overboard with her list. There should be limits.

You need to limit her grocery list, but you leave your kid with her?? Are you nuts??

This is actually quite common. Most families don't allow almost everything the nanny wants to be bought. There are things like the basics above that are provided, and then anything else that the family buys on a regular basis already. If there is something else the nanny usually likes, then I have always worked it out with the MB and decide what will get bought (like I prefer a different brand of yogurt, or I like my vitamin water etc). But they will not go and buy me just anything I want, if I want cookies or an expensive vegetable, ice cream that they don't have, a $5 pack of tortelloni, then I buy that stuff myself. I wouldn't expect them to buy a $7 can of mixed nuts just for me to eat, but they might buy that if others in the household like it as well and we all share it.

OP, your only obligation here is to do what works for you and your family and make your food rules known to the nanny during the hiring process so she can decide whether the economics and boundaries work for her. Be careful, however, about trying to impose a reasonableness standard after telling her she can help herself to everything or add to your grocery list. Eating habits are personal and reasonableness is subjective. If you aren't comfortable with giving her free reign over the kitchen or grocery list and paying for whatever that costs, you may be better off providing a food stipend or paying her a higher salary and letting her buy all her own groceries and either keep them in a designated place or mark them with her initials the way most of us did in college roommate situations. It can be hard to find a middle ground without constant misunderstandings or resentments.

I was a live in nanny for several years and never understood the families who imposed limits on their food. I had almost always done the grocery shopping was told to help myself to anything, but never took advantage of the priviledge.

That was until my last job. We had 4 nannies working rotating 24 shifts and tere was one nanny who could literally eat her weight in food during a shift. She would also eat the last thing or finish off leftovers without ever asking if it was okay. She was really thin so it was amazing to me how much food she was able to eat.

After working with her I realized why some employers have had issues with thier nannies eating everything in the fridge with no consideration for what it's purpose might be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You tell her to put on the shopping list what she needs. Can we please grow up a little?

I did this with my current nanny and she went overboard with her list. There should be limits.

You need to limit her grocery list, but you leave your kid with her?? Are you nuts??

Don't pull that guilt trip. You nannies are gluttons and lazy. I wouldn't give you anything to eat with that entitled attitude.

And you MBs are uptight and frugal. See? I can generalize, too. Why do you have a nanny if you think so poorly of them?

Oh, it's the "entitled nanny" troll.

For someone who isn't a nanny, and doesn't have a nanny you sure are on here a lot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You tell her to put on the shopping list what she needs. Can we please grow up a little?

I did this with my current nanny and she went overboard with her list. There should be limits.

You need to limit her grocery list, but you leave your kid with her?? Are you nuts??

Don't pull that guilt trip. You nannies are gluttons and lazy. I wouldn't give you anything to eat with that entitled attitude.

And you MBs are uptight and frugal. See? I can generalize, too. Why do you have a nanny if you think so poorly of them?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You tell her to put on the shopping list what she needs. Can we please grow up a little?

I did this with my current nanny and she went overboard with her list. There should be limits.

You need to limit her grocery list, but you leave your kid with her?? Are you nuts??

Don't pull that guilt trip. You nannies are gluttons and lazy. I wouldn't give you anything to eat with that entitled attitude.