We pay for local personal gas such as the gym, Target, etc. APs seem to rotate trips to mall, dinner, etc. We are on our second AP and I have never felt like they were abusing local gas. It feels picky to me to have AP track personal miles and I certainly don't want to be bothered.

No. We make our au pair pay for personal gas. It is a pain with a shared car... but my experience is that many OTHER families don't pay for gas and/or don't provide a car... so if you pay for gas, your AP may end up driving herself AND ALL HER FRIENDS all over creation because the other APs have a different deal. That is the primary reason we went to a pay for gas system. We're in the burbs, so a car is important. But she has to pay for gas.

We pay gas but I don't pay for toiletries other than toilet paper and tissues.

Phone, phone plan, and local gas are perks for us. We live close to public transportation so
It's just local shopping, dinner, etc. And her friends drive too. It's never been an issue. I doubt she puts more than 20 personal miles per week...not going to track or make her pay for that...it's not like they get paid much anyway.

No, AP should pay for her gas. What concerns me that you notice anything over a mile. Mile is not a whole lot.

We live in the sticks, and to get literally anywhere you must drive. There is not reliable public transit.

We pay all of the gas for AP duties, travel to classes and cluster meetings.

We give an additional $25 per month for gas.

Our AP pays us a nominal fee every 100 miles. It's on her to keep track of the miles. Honestly, I care about neither, but our first AP lied about taking the car when/where we had said not to (after partying on NYE) then totaled the car. So, we feel like this is a small thing to ask as a way for the AP show us she can be responsible/aware when using our car. It's probably half what gas actually costs and never been more than $20/mo.
It works both ways - our last AP drove her non-driving AP friends all over. Our current one has everyone else drive her so she has more $ for designer handbags.
We try to think about what we would expect of a working, adult child in our home, and our kids would be paying for all their gas and insurance.

Yes, we pay for gas simply because it's one of the easier perks to provide. Sometimes I notice our APs have friends who pay for their own gas, and my AP ends up driving them around because it's cheaper for her friends- having a $20 cap per week for gas deters them from abusing our generosity.

So ridiculous...what a waste of time and mental energy. This is probably the family who empties their dishes from the dishwasher and the AP empties hers. I have no time for this.

I was an au pair many moons ago and had 3 kids all in different schools, They paid for all the gas for the car but I was responsible for physically filling it up.

I had a friend who had to pay for her own gas and when we went out she would literally put $3-$4 in the tank, but between her and the family they were always at the gas station putting in just enough to cover themselves. This makes no sense to me.

AP uses our cars so impossible (or at least not worth the effort) to calculate personal gas use. What...I am going to make her record what mile she stops at kids soccer practice and then subtract that she drove to Starbucks in-between soccer drop off and pick up This is how APs end up resenting HFs and start being passive aggressive in other areas. Not worth it!

We provide 1 tank per month which is MORE than enough to cover what she needs to drive in a month for work. Anything more than that is up to her. We fill it up on the 1st of the month; she is responsible to get it through til the next 1st.

Yes, but she only drives locally (gym, mall, eat out). She takes the train/bus to the city. I wouldn't want the headache of calculating a few miles per week of personal gas useage

We do but I'm starting to rethink it because now AP has a car exclusively for her personal use.

We give her unrestricted access to a third car and pay for her gas. We said if she takes a long day trip (more than 60 miles) she has to pay for it. I also had a honest talk that if she was always the one driving her friends, she needed to ask them for a little gas money. It hasn't been an issue.

We also give her an Iphone.

We have three young children and they are a lot of work. I want a happy AP and understands she wants to go out when not working Believe me, that is what I would do.