I used to watch a 5 year old who was so into his video games he wouldn't pause and go to the bathroom. You better believe if he didn't make it he cleaned himself up. I can ask him to go more frequently, but that doesn't mean he'll go.

Anonymous wrote:And I really don't think the OP was neglectful or malicious by "making the kid clean up after himself". Um, don't you want to teach your kids that important life lesson?
I'm pretty sure if the OP knew the kid just left his shitty clothes everywhere she would've picked them up/ reminded him to put them in laundry.

It's her job to care for him, not send him off to deal with it alone.

And I really don't think the OP was neglectful or malicious by "making the kid clean up after himself". Um, don't you want to teach your kids that important life lesson?
I'm pretty sure if the OP knew the kid just left his shitty clothes everywhere she would've picked them up/ reminded him to put them in laundry.

A child vomiting on himself when he's sick is different than a 5 year old shitting his pants.

Anonymous wrote:^^ Let me guess, your kid still sh*ts his pants and you discuss his feelings about that in a process group? It's people like you who are ruining the next generation.

No. My daughter didn't have those issues.

I have been a nanny for 10 years and have taken the time to learn about child development.

^^ Let me guess, your kid still sh*ts his pants and you discuss his feelings about that in a process group? It's people like you who are ruining the next generation.

Anonymous wrote:The 5 year old I WATCHED went through a phase of pooping in her pants, so I made her clean it up. She stopped.

I fixed that for you.

The 5 year old I care for went through a phase of pooping in her pants, so I made her clean it up. She stopped.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless he is special needs then he should know better. Put him in pull ups if he keeps doing it and maybe he will get the point. Stop coddling kids if there is not an a special needs issue. This is one of the reasons whywe have kids these days who can't so anything for themselves or take responsibly for their actions.

This is a dangerously incorrect series of assumptions and I sincerely hope you are not responsible for children.

There are many kids (and adults) who "know better" but have other physical/emotional complications and are not fully in control of their bladders and/or bowels. Shaming them and suggesting they are being allowed to be helpless is cold, cruel, and dangerously incorrect.

You are incorrect in your thinking. If there is a problem then the parents need to fix the problem instead of keeping allowing it to happen. You know when you have to poop by urges and he should at the very least know this by now.

"keeping allowing"?

You are in the wrong wrong but obviously determined not to listen to reason, so whatever. Obviously yes, the parents need to be doing something - but perhaps they already are/have. The only mistake I've seen them make is not telling their nanny upfront about this issue. Otherwise, you know NOTHING about this boy, his parents, or the physical/emotional reasons behind his BMs and are being wildly judgmental by assuming you do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless he is special needs then he should know better. Put him in pull ups if he keeps doing it and maybe he will get the point. Stop coddling kids if there is not an a special needs issue. This is one of the reasons whywe have kids these days who can't so anything for themselves or take responsibly for their actions.

This is a dangerously incorrect series of assumptions and I sincerely hope you are not responsible for children.

There are many kids (and adults) who "know better" but have other physical/emotional complications and are not fully in control of their bladders and/or bowels. Shaming them and suggesting they are being allowed to be helpless is cold, cruel, and dangerously incorrect.

You are incorrect in your thinking. If there is a problem then the parents need to fix the problem instead of keeping allowing it to happen. You know when you have to poop by urges and he should at the very least know this by now.

+1. I think its mean to leave a 5 yr old to clean himself and his clothes off by himself.

My just turned 7 yr old has an easy gag reflex and throws up regularly when he has a bad cold/cough. When this happens he is upset and would not do a good job of cleaning himself or his clothes. If my nanny told him to go clean up everything and just left him I would fire her!

Anonymous wrote:Unless he is special needs then he should know better. Put him in pull ups if he keeps doing it and maybe he will get the point. Stop coddling kids if there is not an a special needs issue. This is one of the reasons whywe have kids these days who can't so anything for themselves or take responsibly for their actions.

This is a dangerously incorrect series of assumptions and I sincerely hope you are not responsible for children.

There are many kids (and adults) who "know better" but have other physical/emotional complications and are not fully in control of their bladders and/or bowels. Shaming them and suggesting they are being allowed to be helpless is cold, cruel, and dangerously incorrect.

Unless he is special needs then he should know better. Put him in pull ups if he keeps doing it and maybe he will get the point. Stop coddling kids if there is not an a special needs issue. This is one of the reasons whywe have kids these days who can't so anything for themselves or take responsibly for their actions.

You left a 5 year old to undress and clean up a big mess by himself?

Your attitude isn't going to help this child. Time to find another job if you can't perform basic care.

OP, I am the PP that wrote the post saying I agree with you and clarified what you meant.
I agree, it's gross. It's annoying. It's confusing.

Is it a special needs issue? A physical issue? Mental? Who knows. Age 5 is kind of on the fence between he-should-know-better-than-to-leave-his-nasty-clothes-on-floor and forgets-basic-things (such as "oh maybe someone doesn't want to step on poopy clothing items"). The ages between 4-7 is a big transition and sometimes what FRUSTRATES us to no end (what do you mean you can't remember what you ate for lunch? it was an hour ago!) (how the hell did you poop your pants when youre only a foot away from the bathroom?), isn't even on their radar.
It's not malicious or even on purpose, but there's definitely a fine line for a while where it can be tough to decide how to proceed.
It sounds like it happens often enough where there is definitely an issue, whether severe (sphincter issues?) or easily fixed (consistent gentle bathroom reminders). I would discuss it with the MB and decide how to proceed- but be on the same page with her.