Anonymous wrote:

It's tiring because if we play on the floor together for 2 hrs I don't think it's too much to get him to play alone for 20 mins while I make a snack, drink water or go to pee.

I don't understand this. How does it take 20 minutes to get a glass of water or make a quick snack?

OP here. If you spend 2-3 hrs on the floor going from activity to activity (playing on floor, running around outside, climbing trees, doing paintings), I think I should be able to take TWENTY minutes to get up and do things that are not completely surrounding the kid. I sometimes get up, use the restroom, get a snack for the both of us, maybe check my phone (MB texts ALOT), I think I earn that.

Anonymous wrote:

It's tiring because if we play on the floor together for 2 hrs I don't think it's too much to get him to play alone for 20 mins while I make a snack, drink water or go to pee.

I don't understand this. How does it take 20 minutes to get a glass of water or make a quick snack?

Good. Let's all just be as literal as possible. I'm sure it's helpful to the OP.

Anonymous wrote:

It's tiring because if we play on the floor together for 2 hrs I don't think it's too much to get him to play alone for 20 mins while I make a snack, drink water or go to pee.

I don't understand this. How does it take 20 minutes to get a glass of water or make a quick snack?

13:29, what's your point?

It's tiring because if we play on the floor together for 2 hrs I don't think it's too much to get him to play alone for 20 mins while I make a snack, drink water or go to pee.

I don't understand this. How does it take 20 minutes to get a glass of water or make a quick snack?

Ok... I'm the op and I have no problem with interacting with te child. I don't do hw or surf the Internet (unless it's to find an activity or something I bookmarked for later to do with charge) so that is not the issue. The issue is that even if I want to get a drink of water or go to the bathroom he follows me and immediately wants me to continue playing with him. It's tiring because if we play on the floor together for 2 hrs I don't think it's too much to get him to play alone for 20 mins while I make a snack, drink water or go to pee.

^^pp from above. I wanted to add if he did have some type of delay or special needs his school would have recognized it early on and requested he be evaluated. If after evaluation it was found he was then they would set up an IP plan to him help through all his schooling.

For some sick reason their are many parents out there that see having a child on the spectrum as some sort of social status thing.. "Your kid has apergers ? Oh mind does too! Live is so hard, we are dong out best blah blah"


From what you described he sounds like a 7yr old who associates you more as a friend rather than an adult so heis treating you like you are.

Undiagnosed autism? My brother was Diagnosised at 3yrs old with aspergers and my family friend is an early intervention specialist who can tell is a child is special needs after 2-3visits. Sounds like the mom is nuts, if she really thought her son had it then she should be seeking the help of multiple specialists and getting second opinions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to say it OP, but some kids just like having the nanny there to play with. Is he an only child? I noticed the kids that are only children want a lot more interaction from you. It's part of your job whether you like it or not.

That being said, my charge the other day asked if I wanted to play "kitties", basically, pretend to be a cat. It's cute, but I felt ridiculous crawling around on the floor pretending to be a cat.

This is a side-note, but I'm just reading a book on play and raising kids. Your being willing to crawl around on the floor and imagine with your charge is HUGE in your charge's development, even if you feel ridiculous. Do it.

So true. I can still remember from 20+ years ago the babysitters that would really get down and play with me. I don't remember the others at all.

Anonymous wrote:I hate to say it OP, but some kids just like having the nanny there to play with. Is he an only child? I noticed the kids that are only children want a lot more interaction from you. It's part of your job whether you like it or not.

That being said, my charge the other day asked if I wanted to play "kitties", basically, pretend to be a cat. It's cute, but I felt ridiculous crawling around on the floor pretending to be a cat.

This is a side-note, but I'm just reading a book on play and raising kids. Your being willing to crawl around on the floor and imagine with your charge is HUGE in your charge's development, even if you feel ridiculous. Do it.

OP there are plenty of parents who are fine with independent play and don't expect the PT nanny to engage the kid every second. This doesn't mean though that they are OK paying their part time time to do her homework or surf the web while their kid is having independent play. These families usually include housekeeping or cooking since they know that their kid can have some independent play while the nanny is doing these tasks.

Helicopter parent wants a helicopter nanny. Don't they know that actually causes mental illness in a child?

The point of them hiring a nanny was to engage their child one-on-one given they feel he has special needs. You just want to provide little supervision to keep the kid safe so you can do your school work, be on the computer, etc. Perhaps its time for a new line of work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Is it normal for parents to need their kids engaged every waking min? I feel like at his age he should be able to do activities alone (supervised but without my involvement).

Normal? Yes.
Healthy? No. I think this kind of care-taking makes kids incredibly narcissistic.

But they are paying you, so you do need to do what they want, within reason.

I agree (assuming the kid is generally healthy/normal) that kids should be able to play on their own. But these parents are being quite clear about their expectations and what they're paying you to do - so you need to do it. This particular job is about keeping the kid entertained and engaged all the time. So be it.

My four year old does this (no special needs) and it drives me nuts. But he's 4. I force him to play by himself a lot and he also has a sister which helps. I think the mom may also not feel whatever your rate is is worth you supervising a child why you do your own thing. So maybe offer to do small things around the house if you want to encourage him to have independent time and re-assure the mom that you're not "slacking." I prefer cleaning to crawling around the floor any day. Of course like PPs have said, she may also just feel he needs the extra attention so if that's your job, it's your job.

Anonymous wrote: Is it normal for parents to need their kids engaged every waking min? I feel like at his age he should be able to do activities alone (supervised but without my involvement).

Normal? Yes.
Healthy? No. I think this kind of care-taking makes kids incredibly narcissistic.

But they are paying you, so you do need to do what they want, within reason.