Anonymous
Post 04/25/2013 03:58     Subject: Ughh. Kid making innapropriate sexually charged comments.
Lots of kids make references to "pee and poop," but his references about private parts is not appropriate at all. I know kids are growing up much quicker these days and that is all good, but he needs to learn NOW that this is not an acceptable manner to address an adult, esp. an authority figure.

Plus, I would worry about any sexual accusations later on. Suppose he twists the truth and tells his friends that he touched your "privates"?? Then just suppose one of his friend's parents tells the authorities. You of course can defend yourself, but the whole thing can get pretty ugly since most authorities tend to believe children on stuff like this.

I would leave.
Too risky to stay.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2013 22:46     Subject: Ughh. Kid making innapropriate sexually charged comments.
Yeah I'm not going to jump to conclusions and assume he's been sexually molested (as terrible as that would be). I have spoken to the parents and am taking it day by day with correction, time outs, and some positive reinforcement. At the end of the day it's really his parents responsibility to have those lessons with him as I can only do *so* much.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2013 19:35     Subject: Ughh. Kid making innapropriate sexually charged comments.
Anonymous wrote:I am a former nanny turned Social Worker who has worked extensively with sexually abused children.

In my opinion, this is one of those situations where it could be normal and could be a sign of something else going on. I would talk to the parents and get their input. Does he behave the same way with his parents, or only with you? Also, get information from the school and anywhere else he spends frequent time at. Usually (but not always) problem behavior is exhibited in more than one environment. Is there anyone at school (counselor, social worker, etc) that you could speak to about your concerns? They may also have some suggestions on how to react that might be more effective.

Please remember, that not all children who are exhibiting sexually aggressive or concerning behaviors have been sexually abused themselves. I hate when I see people automatically start pointing fingers at people in these situations, because it is not always the case. It means that they have been exposed to sexual material in some way and haven't been taught proper boundaries.

+1 This is almost exactly what I was going to say.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2013 16:54     Subject: Ughh. Kid making innapropriate sexually charged comments.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What you have is early manifestations of rage. They need a good family therapist with your involvement. This is dangerous behavior unfolding and can no longer be ignored by the "parents". Ask them if they want to start getting recommendations, or do they want you to start the work.

Do you know how many nannies the boy has had so far?



I agree that this is not normal behavior and they should seek professional help. I think it's possible it could be rage. But I also think it is possible that the child has been sexually assaulted. Either way it sounds like a pretty desperate situation.

+1. Totally inappropriate and scary. I think you have an obligation to talk to the parents and let them know your concern. The little girl would be my major concern, as she could be risk for molestation, but it's highly probable that the boy has also been victimized. The parents need to step in and take charge of this, but it is your duty to report.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2013 16:23     Subject: Ughh. Kid making innapropriate sexually charged comments.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a former nanny turned Social Worker who has worked extensively with sexually abused children.

In my opinion, this is one of those situations where it could be normal and could be a sign of something else going on. I would talk to the parents and get their input. Does he behave the same way with his parents, or only with you? Also, get information from the school and anywhere else he spends frequent time at. Usually (but not always) problem behavior is exhibited in more than one environment. Is there anyone at school (counselor, social worker, etc) that you could speak to about your concerns? They may also have some suggestions on how to react that might be more effective.

Please remember, that not all children who are exhibiting sexually aggressive or concerning behaviors have been sexually abused themselves. I hate when I see people automatically start pointing fingers at people in these situations, because it is not always the case. It means that they have been exposed to sexual material in some way and haven't been taught proper boundaries.

It's astounding that a professional could think that this child's behavior might be normal, based on what the nanny has reported.


PP said may or MAY NOT be normal. It's astounding how quick posters on this board are to push their own agenda. Try reading the whole post before feeling compelled to comment.

Did read the whole post. My agenda is to encourage the nanny to get some good professional help for a situation that is obviously not normal.

I was referring to the poster who was commenting that you thought the behavior was normal. I completely agree with your original comments.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2013 16:19     Subject: Ughh. Kid making innapropriate sexually charged comments.
The parents may consider their son's behavior to be normal, just as some posters here.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2013 16:05     Subject: Ughh. Kid making innapropriate sexually charged comments.
Anonymous wrote:I am a former nanny turned Social Worker who has worked extensively with sexually abused children.

In my opinion, this is one of those situations where it could be normal and could be a sign of something else going on. I would talk to the parents and get their input. Does he behave the same way with his parents, or only with you? Also, get information from the school and anywhere else he spends frequent time at. Usually (but not always) problem behavior is exhibited in more than one environment. Is there anyone at school (counselor, social worker, etc) that you could speak to about your concerns? They may also have some suggestions on how to react that might be more effective.

Please remember, that not all children who are exhibiting sexually aggressive or concerning behaviors have been sexually abused themselves. I hate when I see people automatically start pointing fingers at people in these situations, because it is not always the case. It means that they have been exposed to sexual material in some way and haven't been taught proper boundaries.


+10000000

Anonymous
Post 04/23/2013 15:33     Subject: Ughh. Kid making innapropriate sexually charged comments.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a former nanny turned Social Worker who has worked extensively with sexually abused children.

In my opinion, this is one of those situations where it could be normal and could be a sign of something else going on. I would talk to the parents and get their input. Does he behave the same way with his parents, or only with you? Also, get information from the school and anywhere else he spends frequent time at. Usually (but not always) problem behavior is exhibited in more than one environment. Is there anyone at school (counselor, social worker, etc) that you could speak to about your concerns? They may also have some suggestions on how to react that might be more effective.

Please remember, that not all children who are exhibiting sexually aggressive or concerning behaviors have been sexually abused themselves. I hate when I see people automatically start pointing fingers at people in these situations, because it is not always the case. It means that they have been exposed to sexual material in some way and haven't been taught proper boundaries.

It's astounding that a professional could think that this child's behavior might be normal, based on what the nanny has reported.


PP said may or MAY NOT be normal. It's astounding how quick posters on this board are to push their own agenda. Try reading the whole post before feeling compelled to comment.

Did read the whole post. My agenda is to encourage the nanny to get some good professional help for a situation that is obviously not normal.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2013 15:25     Subject: Ughh. Kid making innapropriate sexually charged comments.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a former nanny turned Social Worker who has worked extensively with sexually abused children.

In my opinion, this is one of those situations where it could be normal and could be a sign of something else going on. I would talk to the parents and get their input. Does he behave the same way with his parents, or only with you? Also, get information from the school and anywhere else he spends frequent time at. Usually (but not always) problem behavior is exhibited in more than one environment. Is there anyone at school (counselor, social worker, etc) that you could speak to about your concerns? They may also have some suggestions on how to react that might be more effective.

Please remember, that not all children who are exhibiting sexually aggressive or concerning behaviors have been sexually abused themselves. I hate when I see people automatically start pointing fingers at people in these situations, because it is not always the case. It means that they have been exposed to sexual material in some way and haven't been taught proper boundaries.

It's astounding that a professional could think that this child's behavior might be normal, based on what the nanny has reported.


PP said may or MAY NOT be normal. It's astounding how quick posters on this board are to push their own agenda. Try reading the whole post before feeling compelled to comment.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2013 14:59     Subject: Ughh. Kid making innapropriate sexually charged comments.
Anonymous wrote:I am a former nanny turned Social Worker who has worked extensively with sexually abused children.

In my opinion, this is one of those situations where it could be normal and could be a sign of something else going on. I would talk to the parents and get their input. Does he behave the same way with his parents, or only with you? Also, get information from the school and anywhere else he spends frequent time at. Usually (but not always) problem behavior is exhibited in more than one environment. Is there anyone at school (counselor, social worker, etc) that you could speak to about your concerns? They may also have some suggestions on how to react that might be more effective.

Please remember, that not all children who are exhibiting sexually aggressive or concerning behaviors have been sexually abused themselves. I hate when I see people automatically start pointing fingers at people in these situations, because it is not always the case. It means that they have been exposed to sexual material in some way and haven't been taught proper boundaries.

It's astounding that a professional could think that this child's behavior might be normal, based on what the nanny has reported.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2013 14:28     Subject: Ughh. Kid making innapropriate sexually charged comments.
I am a former nanny turned Social Worker who has worked extensively with sexually abused children.

In my opinion, this is one of those situations where it could be normal and could be a sign of something else going on. I would talk to the parents and get their input. Does he behave the same way with his parents, or only with you? Also, get information from the school and anywhere else he spends frequent time at. Usually (but not always) problem behavior is exhibited in more than one environment. Is there anyone at school (counselor, social worker, etc) that you could speak to about your concerns? They may also have some suggestions on how to react that might be more effective.

Please remember, that not all children who are exhibiting sexually aggressive or concerning behaviors have been sexually abused themselves. I hate when I see people automatically start pointing fingers at people in these situations, because it is not always the case. It means that they have been exposed to sexual material in some way and haven't been taught proper boundaries.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2013 13:57     Subject: Ughh. Kid making innapropriate sexually charged comments.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What you have is early manifestations of rage. They need a good family therapist with your involvement. This is dangerous behavior unfolding and can no longer be ignored by the "parents". Ask them if they want to start getting recommendations, or do they want you to start the work.

Do you know how many nannies the boy has had so far?



I agree that this is not normal behavior and they should seek professional help. I think it's possible it could be rage. But I also think it is possible that the child has been sexually assaulted. Either way it sounds like a pretty desperate situation.


Or he could turn in a psychopath and a serial killer. This NEEDS to be addressed now before it is too late. Does he also wet the bed?
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2013 10:44     Subject: Ughh. Kid making innapropriate sexually charged comments.
Does he do this at school? I would have a talk with his teacher about the behavior to see if there could be a link. I'd also ask him in a nonjudgemental way where he is hearing this stuff and if anyone has been hurting him. I'd bring up the possible exposure issue to his parents and straight up say your concerned he's being exposed to sexual content or sexually abused. Tell them they need to at least have this issue evaluated by a professional because its not normal for 9yr olds.

If you quit, id inform the teacher of this behavior that way some other adult is looking out incase it is abuse.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2013 10:24     Subject: Ughh. Kid making innapropriate sexually charged comments.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What you have is early manifestations of rage. They need a good family therapist with your involvement. This is dangerous behavior unfolding and can no longer be ignored by the "parents". Ask them if they want to start getting recommendations, or do they want you to start the work.

Do you know how many nannies the boy has had so far?



I agree that this is not normal behavior and they should seek professional help. I think it's possible it could be rage. But I also think it is possible that the child has been sexually assaulted. Either way it sounds like a pretty desperate situation.

I can see how an abused or neglected child would have rage.

If they don't allow you to get a professional involved very soon, you may want to get out of there, so you are not held liable for not reporting signs of suspected abuse.

Anonymous
Post 04/23/2013 10:12     Subject: Ughh. Kid making innapropriate sexually charged comments.
Sorry for the typos, I'm not very adept with an ipad keyboard!