Anonymous wrote:Perfect example- this morning before I left for work, my nanny was outside playing with the kids on the patio. There were some leaves and dirt in the corner near her- and instead of just sitting and watching the kids play, she got the broom and dustpan and swept up the leaves. I know it was not in her job description, but her small act of thoughtfulness will make all our lives a little more pleasant. That is one of the reasons she has been with us for more than 3 years and I hope for much longer.

Sure, but I'd be playing with the kids. I do focus on them and play with them all day (I'm pt). When it's quiet time I model by reading quietly on the couch also. I don't have housework to do though, it's not in my job description nor would the parents particularly want me doing it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no guarantee that a family will keep you long term, no matter how much you do for them. Our position is easily replaceable and money speaks louder than loyalty. I went above and beyond ten fold in my last position and they still sacked me to put their kid in daycare because it was cheaper. And I by no means am above market rate. So your reasoning is slightly flawed. you can make things easier but you should stay within your job description. don't fool yourself, there is no advancement in the nanny industry, just more work so slightly more pay if your lucky. There is definitely no job security.

Your mindset is flawed. You don't get it. Yes, there will be cheap or ignorant employers just like theres entitled, arrogant nannies with fragile egos. The ones who expect there employers to kiss their bottom just because they take care of their children are the ones who will never be regarded as a 'amazing nanny'.. Also, every nanny on this board would like to think they are professional and 'amazing' at what they do but your opinion of yourself is very different then how people view you.

I guess I'm one of those "amazing" nannies you're talking about. Why? Well let's see. One of my first billionaire MB's (she's the daughter of one of America's most wealthy families) had this to say to me when I resigned:

"Because you are irreplaceable, I will take care of (child) until he's old enough for preschool."

Don't know what I did to deserve that distinction, but that's how she felt.

Anonymous wrote:There is no guarantee that a family will keep you long term, no matter how much you do for them. Our position is easily replaceable and money speaks louder than loyalty. I went above and beyond ten fold in my last position and they still sacked me to put their kid in daycare because it was cheaper. And I by no means am above market rate. So your reasoning is slightly flawed. you can make things easier but you should stay within your job description. don't fool yourself, there is no advancement in the nanny industry, just more work so slightly more pay if your lucky. There is definitely no job security.

Your mindset is flawed. You don't get it. Yes, there will be cheap or ignorant employers just like theres entitled, arrogant nannies with fragile egos. The ones who expect there employers to kiss their bottom just because they take care of their children are the ones who will never be regarded as a 'amazing nanny'.. Also, every nanny on this board would like to think they are professional and 'amazing' at what they do but your opinion of yourself is very different then how people view you.

I agree.

However, I think most nannies realize this need upfront and they in turn work hard to achieve this goal w/their families. Otherwise what would be their use?

How is not going above and beyond considered entitled PP?

Lots of families go through several nannies every year. They don't have a clue how that damages their child. They'll even say it's good for their child to "get used to" lots of different people. Some of these parents are "highly educated". Amazing. I guess they bypassed the parenting classes.

I if I were asked about five years ago about my first nanny position, I would have said that they overworked me (true), didn't value my time (also true), and expected me to do things out of my contract (very true). Looking back today, I know that I held resentment toward them because of the way I handled those situations. Yes, they expected a lot from me but I never told them it was bothering me.
I honestly have difficulty believing that anyone would hire someone and intentionally over work them, who wants multiple nannies to fire and rehire over and over again? Nine times out of ten, these bad employers are around because the employee doesn't say how they feel.
Usually what happens is the employer expects over and over again and the employee does whatever is expected while holding a grudge. The employer has no idea something is wrong because the employee doesn't say anything - and the circle continues. Both parties are responsible not just one.

I agree with the OP's post, but I will say that knowing the true purpose of a nanny (to provide incredible care in a way that improves quality of life for the entire family) is only half of what makes a great nanny. The other half is knowing how to find/attract families that will allow you as a nanny to live up to this. It is your responsibility to manage your finances in such a way that you can draw appropriate boundaries with a new family and be prepared to walk away if need be. It is your job to question potential employers as thoroughly as they question you and to really know your own mind and what you need to be successful.

I agree with PP. As a nanny for a number of years I have experienced both sides of the coin. I have families that have consistently went above and beyond for me, and I for them, sometimes to the point that I have to decline their offers of kindness politely as to maintain a professional relationship and not give the idea that I would take advantage of them. But I have also had families who asked/expected a lot from me beyond the job description. I have never hesitated to help out, and if I find it even mildly reasonable I am happy to comply. But, unfortunately, I have been taken advantaged of a number of times. I do my best to keep open lines of communication as to not sour any relationship with parents. And as a result I have never been fired, nor quit a position, and have only moved to a new job after children start school, move, or some unforeseen change.

The nanny's job by definition is not to make the family's life easier per se. Though as a consequence they do. There are many things outside the realm of a typical nanny position that could make a family's life easier. However, that does not mean the nanny should perform all of these. That being said, any kind and considerate human being would and should help when they notice that help is needed or would be appreciated, so I fully support the nanny helping out by say letting the dog out, tidying up the family room, clean small messes that may have been forgotten/overlooked by the family. Nannies who are afraid of being walked over need to sharpen their social skills and learn to recognize the families that innocently need help from the malicious ones. Stop overgeneralizing. All families are not out there to nickle and dime you. Try to pick up on this in the interview, and throughout your first weeks or months, and if something happens down the line, don't get pissed that you have to wipe a juice spill from the night before. Simple acts of kindness can go a long way. If the boundaries of employment start getting blurry, ask to have a short sit-down chat, and express your concerns honestly and professionally. You will come to find that it may not have been as serious as you thought, or you may learn that you are not the right fit. Either way is better than secretive contempt or outright protesting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perfect example- this morning before I left for work, my nanny was outside playing with the kids on the patio. There were some leaves and dirt in the corner near her- and instead of just sitting and watching the kids play, she got the broom and dustpan and swept up the leaves. I know it was not in her job description, but her small act of thoughtfulness will make all our lives a little more pleasant. That is one of the reasons she has been with us for more than 3 years and I hope for much longer.

That's wonderful that you and your nanny have such a great working relationship. The issue a lot of nannies have had, myself included, is when it doesn't matter how far above and beyond you go some employers don't notice or are never satisfied. An employer has a role to play in the equation (which it sounds like you do!) where they acknowledge a nanny's efforts and show their appreciation. I just left a job where I bent over backwards for nearly a year to please my boss, while they were constantly late, inconsiderate, and missed payroll 6 times. Our contract didn't lay out requirements for giving notice, so I gave 3 weeks and did a lot to give them a head start in finding someone new and training her. I've received no thanks, but have received a daily berating. In a lot of nanny jobs, this is what going above and beyond gets you. SQUAT

Not the quoted PP, but I'm sorry you've had this experience. Those of us who as MBs give our nannies regular thanks, bonuses, raises, and other rewards are discouraged when the attitude on here is that families are always out to get you no matter what. Some of us aren't.

I recognize that, and applauded you and the PP MB for your attitude. It also doesn't do us any good to pretend that all families have your attitude. As another PP said, what we should all be looking for is a relationship of mutual respect. The idea that the responsibility to be flexible, understanding, and considerate lies solely on the nanny is a problem attitude that a lot, not all but far too many, employers have. The best way to have and keep a nanny who goes the extra mile for you is to meet her halfway there.

+1 it does need to work both ways, although I see many entitled nannies on here.

Anonymous wrote:I'm OP, I oftentimes see rants and posts about how MB was five minutes late or that you had to fold her laundry because she left them in the dryer. In the grand scheme of things, is it really worth it to get that upset about completing a five minute task?
My bosses go above and beyond to ensure that I am happy. They provide me with my favorite snacks, coffee, and always shower me with thanks and gifts. I appreciate them as much as they appreciate me.

What you illustrate is mutual respect.

It needs to work *both* ways, doesn't it?

I'm OP, I oftentimes see rants and posts about how MB was five minutes late or that you had to fold her laundry because she left them in the dryer. In the grand scheme of things, is it really worth it to get that upset about completing a five minute task?
My bosses go above and beyond to ensure that I am happy. They provide me with my favorite snacks, coffee, and always shower me with thanks and gifts. I appreciate them as much as they appreciate me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perfect example- this morning before I left for work, my nanny was outside playing with the kids on the patio. There were some leaves and dirt in the corner near her- and instead of just sitting and watching the kids play, she got the broom and dustpan and swept up the leaves. I know it was not in her job description, but her small act of thoughtfulness will make all our lives a little more pleasant. That is one of the reasons she has been with us for more than 3 years and I hope for much longer.

That's wonderful that you and your nanny have such a great working relationship. The issue a lot of nannies have had, myself included, is when it doesn't matter how far above and beyond you go some employers don't notice or are never satisfied. An employer has a role to play in the equation (which it sounds like you do!) where they acknowledge a nanny's efforts and show their appreciation. I just left a job where I bent over backwards for nearly a year to please my boss, while they were constantly late, inconsiderate, and missed payroll 6 times. Our contract didn't lay out requirements for giving notice, so I gave 3 weeks and did a lot to give them a head start in finding someone new and training her. I've received no thanks, but have received a daily berating. In a lot of nanny jobs, this is what going above and beyond gets you. SQUAT

Unfortunately, this nanny's experience is more the norm, than not. Maybe the appreciative parents should distinguish themselves in their job descriptions by saying:

"We are eager to show our appreciation for a job well done."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perfect example- this morning before I left for work, my nanny was outside playing with the kids on the patio. There were some leaves and dirt in the corner near her- and instead of just sitting and watching the kids play, she got the broom and dustpan and swept up the leaves. I know it was not in her job description, but her small act of thoughtfulness will make all our lives a little more pleasant. That is one of the reasons she has been with us for more than 3 years and I hope for much longer.

That's wonderful that you and your nanny have such a great working relationship. The issue a lot of nannies have had, myself included, is when it doesn't matter how far above and beyond you go some employers don't notice or are never satisfied. An employer has a role to play in the equation (which it sounds like you do!) where they acknowledge a nanny's efforts and show their appreciation. I just left a job where I bent over backwards for nearly a year to please my boss, while they were constantly late, inconsiderate, and missed payroll 6 times. Our contract didn't lay out requirements for giving notice, so I gave 3 weeks and did a lot to give them a head start in finding someone new and training her. I've received no thanks, but have received a daily berating. In a lot of nanny jobs, this is what going above and beyond gets you. SQUAT

Not the quoted PP, but I'm sorry you've had this experience. Those of us who as MBs give our nannies regular thanks, bonuses, raises, and other rewards are discouraged when the attitude on here is that families are always out to get you no matter what. Some of us aren't.