No, pp, it's ultimately the children who are the victims of severed bonds with their established primary caregiver.

You don't sound very experienced with kids. Kids grow up with changing caregivers all the time. It's no big deal.

OP, it's nice that you're considering her commute, but don't make that a huge deal in your decision about where to live, especially since you're planning on living close to public transportation. If she can't make the commute work, she'll tell you and move on to another position and you will find another great nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

I think of it this way--if we had the kids in daycare, as we did when our older was a baby/toddler, we would definitely move to a location that allowed him to remain there if at all possible.

Good grief. OP- daycare or nanny years are behind you faster than you think. You need to look beyond your nose.

Your house is one of the biggest financial investments you will make. If you are looking at public schools, buying into a good school system will affect your children 1000X more than changing daycares or nannies once. Your choices in neighborhood, commute, matching your lifestyle (walkability, yard etc) for the next 10-15 years will affect them much more changing daycares or nannies.

Woowwwww, talk about judging.

I'm sure OP has considered all of those other factors too - she asked specifically how much weight other people thought she should give to THIS one, she didn't say it was the only factor, or even a primary factor. The fact is, OP and her DH have decided to prioritize the issue of maintaining the consistency of a caregiver. When moving this is a particularly sensible concern as even the most well-adjusted kids can be thrown for a loop, but particularly so if she knows her children are sensitive to strangers or new situations or otherwise will struggle with big changes. You know nothing about OP or her family, and her children's formative childhood years are important to her. There are worse things in life, PP, than someone being a big-picture planner.

Anonymous wrote:

I think of it this way--if we had the kids in daycare, as we did when our older was a baby/toddler, we would definitely move to a location that allowed him to remain there if at all possible.

Good grief. OP- daycare or nanny years are behind you faster than you think. You need to look beyond your nose.

Your house is one of the biggest financial investments you will make. If you are looking at public schools, buying into a good school system will affect your children 1000X more than changing daycares or nannies once. Your choices in neighborhood, commute, matching your lifestyle (walkability, yard etc) for the next 10-15 years will affect them much more changing daycares or nannies.

How many nannies have you had?

Anonymous wrote:

I think of it this way--if we had the kids in daycare, as we did when our older was a baby/toddler, we would definitely move to a location that allowed him to remain there if at all possible.

Good grief. OP- daycare or nanny years are behind you faster than you think. You need to look beyond your nose.

Your house is one of the biggest financial investments you will make. If you are looking at public schools, buying into a good school system will affect your children 1000X more than changing daycares or nannies once. Your choices in neighborhood, commute, matching your lifestyle (walkability, yard etc) for the next 10-15 years will affect them much more changing daycares or nannies.

+1

I think of it this way--if we had the kids in daycare, as we did when our older was a baby/toddler, we would definitely move to a location that allowed him to remain there if at all possible.

Good grief. OP- daycare or nanny years are behind you faster than you think. You need to look beyond your nose.

Your house is one of the biggest financial investments you will make. If you are looking at public schools, buying into a good school system will affect your children 1000X more than changing daycares or nannies once. Your choices in neighborhood, commute, matching your lifestyle (walkability, yard etc) for the next 10-15 years will affect them much more changing daycares or nannies.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like a great MB. I'm sure your nanny appreciates you taking her commute into consideration.

+1

OP, you sound like a great MB. I'm sure your nanny appreciates you taking her commute into consideration.

I am the OP...thanks for your thoughts. To be clear, I have already brought it up with her on a few occasions but she is just not the type to say, "I won't travel more than xx minutes to work for your family." I have made it clear to her that we will remain Metro-accessible and that we don't want to make our move a hardship for her. I think of it this way--if we had the kids in daycare, as we did when our older was a baby/toddler, we would definitely move to a location that allowed him to remain there if at all possible. Similarly, we want to avoid having to make a change in our child care arrangement soon after moving, for all the reasons that others have mentioned--I think it would much harder for our kids to adjust to a move if it meant losing our nanny whom we all love. (And I'm not sure I could handle the stress of buying a new home and finding a new nanny in one fell swoop either!) Anyway--in the end I think our budget is going to limit us to areas that keep her commute the same or maybe shave off some time. It was never the main consideration but we can't ignore it, either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous



i don't think you should be making housing decisions (for purchase at least, perhaps renting would be different) based on your nanny's commute. But I certainly think it would be considerate to talk about it with her so you all know what to plan for and/or what to worry about.

This is great advice.

Why are you agreeing with yourself?

Anonymous wrote:Find out from her what the maximum commute she'd be willing to make is, and/or if a change in compensation/perks would stretch it at all. Really push her to be realistic about how much she can tolerate.

Then, as you go into the process of looking at homes, you'll already know whether it would allow you to keep her or not. It won't be anything you'll need to consider or factor in consciously, it will just be one piece of data you'll be looking at along with many, many other (more important) pieces.

This is good advice. As a nanny I would appreciate this. I would never expect them to choose a house based on my commute but it would be nice for them to consider it.

Anonymous wrote:No, pp, it's ultimately the children who are the victims of severed bonds with their established primary caregiver.

Yeah...kids aren't fragile and will bounce back. I'm sure they will be fine really.