Anonymous
03/14/2013 17:22
Subject: What are the questions you WISH you asked during the interview
Anonymous wrote:PP, you chose the role of working mother. Unless it is mutually agreed upon, why would it be your nanny's responsibility to do your chores?
Were you responding to me (the one who talked about my nanny getting more breaks than me)? If so, then I didn't mean to imply it was her responsibility at all. I wrote her job description to include no housekeeping other than cleaning up after her and my DC's daily activities. I was simply pointing out that the occasional assumption on here that MBs ask nannies to go far and above what they ask of themselves is hardly a universal fact. Some of us think that our children's nannies are there to do childcare during their assigned hours and prefer to run our own households. So when all the nannies complain about lazy MBs and all the loads of chores piled on them, those of us who aren't lazy MBs might feel a little unfairly skewered. I work darned hard to keep my house running as well as to keep my nanny happy.
Anonymous
03/14/2013 17:22
Subject: Re:What are the questions you WISH you asked during the interview
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:PP, you chose the role of working mother. Unless it is mutually agreed upon, why would it be your nanny's responsibility to do your chores?
As an employer I get to choose who I hire and I get to choose the job description. I also had no problem finding nannies perfectly willing to do light housekeeping. These nannies had better childcare qualifications than the few who came off as "nap time is my time types".
I would never hire someone so entitled and lazy whose attitude is nap time is my time. What a terrible work ethic! I can't think of any of other profession where someone brags about doing nothing for 4 out of an 8 or 9 hour work day. You are simply an embarrassment to better nannies.
I'm not the PP you're replying to, just for the record.
I do light housekeeping for my employers very happily. I also do it very quickly and efficiently and end up still getting to enjoy a good stretch of downtime during most days. If the toddler naps for 3 hours and I get everything done in 45 minutes, I do enjoy that extra time to rest, call Comcast (which is becoming a weekly event at our house), clean up my inbox, and so on. If the only acceptable alternative for my MB is to add odd jobs to my list or to do my assigned tasks more slowly so no one feels "cheated," I'll move on to a different position.
However, to be fair, I experienced the same issue when I worked in an office setting - I got things done quickly and correctly and then had free time, and only after several weeks of my supervisor stepping in to ask to see my reports (and finding them flawless) did they stop assuming I was being lazy and recognized I was performing quite well and simply required less time to get my jobs done. (I don't like moving slowly simply so it looks like I'm busier than I really am...) The difference is that in that setting I was able to achieve promotions (added responsibilities AND increased pay) because of my time management skills. If my MB offered me the same, I'd happily accept. I would not accept an increased workload for the same pay simply because I am good at what I do.
Nicely said! This is what I've been trying to get across, and failing. I happily do the things I agreed to do when I signed up. If that means extra laundry, dishes, cooking whatever, no problem as it is reflected in my pay. I do not, however, fill idle time with my boss' daily whims. I'm not going to suddenly start scrubbing toilets, or bathing your dog or whatever you don't feel like doing when you're home just because I've finished my work and have extra time. Would you prefer I just worked slower? Jeez
Anonymous
03/14/2013 16:57
Subject: Re:What are the questions you WISH you asked during the interview
Anonymous wrote:PP, you chose the role of working mother. Unless it is mutually agreed upon, why would it be your nanny's responsibility to do your chores?
As an employer I get to choose who I hire and I get to choose the job description. I also had no problem finding nannies perfectly willing to do light housekeeping. These nannies had better childcare qualifications than the few who came off as "nap time is my time types".
I would never hire someone so entitled and lazy whose attitude is nap time is my time. What a terrible work ethic! I can't think of any of other profession where someone brags about doing nothing for 4 out of an 8 or 9 hour work day. You are simply an embarrassment to better nannies.
How did you get that from this quote?
Anonymous
03/14/2013 16:55
Subject: Re:What are the questions you WISH you asked during the interview
Anonymous wrote:PP, you chose the role of working mother. Unless it is mutually agreed upon, why would it be your nanny's responsibility to do your chores?
As an employer I get to choose who I hire and I get to choose the job description. I also had no problem finding nannies perfectly willing to do light housekeeping. These nannies had better childcare qualifications than the few who came off as "nap time is my time types".
I would never hire someone so entitled and lazy whose attitude is nap time is my time. What a terrible work ethic! I can't think of any of other profession where someone brags about doing nothing for 4 out of an 8 or 9 hour work day. You are simply an embarrassment to better nannies.
I'm not the PP you're replying to, just for the record.
I do light housekeeping for my employers very happily. I also do it very quickly and efficiently and end up still getting to enjoy a good stretch of downtime during most days. If the toddler naps for 3 hours and I get everything done in 45 minutes, I do enjoy that extra time to rest, call Comcast (which is becoming a weekly event at our house), clean up my inbox, and so on. If the only acceptable alternative for my MB is to add odd jobs to my list or to do my assigned tasks more slowly so no one feels "cheated," I'll move on to a different position.
However, to be fair, I experienced the same issue when I worked in an office setting - I got things done quickly and correctly and then had free time, and only after several weeks of my supervisor stepping in to ask to see my reports (and finding them flawless) did they stop assuming I was being lazy and recognized I was performing quite well and simply required less time to get my jobs done. (I don't like moving slowly simply so it looks like I'm busier than I really am...) The difference is that in that setting I was able to achieve promotions (added responsibilities AND increased pay) because of my time management skills. If my MB offered me the same, I'd happily accept. I would not accept an increased workload for the same pay simply because I am good at what I do.
Anonymous
03/14/2013 16:43
Subject: Re:What are the questions you WISH you asked during the interview
PP, you chose the role of working mother. Unless it is mutually agreed upon, why would it be your nanny's responsibility to do your chores?
As an employer I get to choose who I hire and I get to choose the job description. I also had no problem finding nannies perfectly willing to do light housekeeping. These nannies had better childcare qualifications than the few who came off as "nap time is my time types".
I would never hire someone so entitled and lazy whose attitude is nap time is my time. What a terrible work ethic! I can't think of any of other profession where someone brags about doing nothing for 4 out of an 8 or 9 hour work day. You are simply an embarrassment to better nannies.
Anonymous
03/14/2013 16:36
Subject: What are the questions you WISH you asked during the interview
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Honest question to the MB's: how many of you take a break for one hour or less while you spend all day with your kids? This is including time you take to text, talk on the phone, check your email, or do anything not kid related.
I'm sure if you thought about it, you take nap time and some to recharge your body, take care of your own needs (bathroom, eating, etc), and to not think for a moment. Being with children all day is physically and mentally draining.
MB here who only has a PT nanny.
During DC's morning nap, I maybe check my e-mail for 5 min, then race to quickly unload the dishwasher, get any morning dishes cleaned up, then hop into the shower. So I guess the morning nap includes at least 20 minutes of "me" time.
During DC's afternoon nap it varies. On a day when DC has slept well at night I will spend all of it but another 5 or so minutes doing chores - our nanny doesn't do any housecleaning (some days she doesn't even get DC's bottles in the dishwasher...) - and we have no other hired help so on days I'm home I am doing the stay-at-home-mom routine.
Break time really occurs after DC is in bed for the day. It's after DH and I have cleaned up from making dinner, lunches are packed, toys are put away for the night, and the next day is prepped for. Then I get some time to e-mail friends, read a book, etc.
So dang yes my nanny, who only cleans up after her daily activities with DC, gets way more break time in a day than I do.
While I agree with PP that you chose the role of working mom, and as such signed on for basically no breaks ever (parenthood is exhausting!), your nanny is failing at her job if she can't even put bottles in the dishwasher.
Anonymous
03/14/2013 16:33
Subject: What are the questions you WISH you asked during the interview
Hubby said to wife: "Well, honey, the nanny seems to be doing just about everything around the house, everything except having sex with me, so far."
How easy it is for the nanny to become "the wife".
Beware, MBs, what you ask for, from the nanny.
How easy it is for the nanny to become "the wife".
Beware, MBs, what you ask for, from the nanny.
Anonymous
03/14/2013 15:58
Subject: What are the questions you WISH you asked during the interview
PP, you chose the role of working mother. Unless it is mutually agreed upon, why would it be your nanny's responsibility to do your chores?
Anonymous
03/14/2013 15:49
Subject: What are the questions you WISH you asked during the interview
Anonymous wrote:Honest question to the MB's: how many of you take a break for one hour or less while you spend all day with your kids? This is including time you take to text, talk on the phone, check your email, or do anything not kid related.
I'm sure if you thought about it, you take nap time and some to recharge your body, take care of your own needs (bathroom, eating, etc), and to not think for a moment. Being with children all day is physically and mentally draining.
MB here who only has a PT nanny.
During DC's morning nap, I maybe check my e-mail for 5 min, then race to quickly unload the dishwasher, get any morning dishes cleaned up, then hop into the shower. So I guess the morning nap includes at least 20 minutes of "me" time.
During DC's afternoon nap it varies. On a day when DC has slept well at night I will spend all of it but another 5 or so minutes doing chores - our nanny doesn't do any housecleaning (some days she doesn't even get DC's bottles in the dishwasher...) - and we have no other hired help so on days I'm home I am doing the stay-at-home-mom routine.
Break time really occurs after DC is in bed for the day. It's after DH and I have cleaned up from making dinner, lunches are packed, toys are put away for the night, and the next day is prepped for. Then I get some time to e-mail friends, read a book, etc.
So dang yes my nanny, who only cleans up after her daily activities with DC, gets way more break time in a day than I do.
Anonymous
03/14/2013 15:25
Subject: What are the questions you WISH you asked during the interview
Honest question to the MB's: how many of you take a break for one hour or less while you spend all day with your kids? This is including time you take to text, talk on the phone, check your email, or do anything not kid related.
I'm sure if you thought about it, you take nap time and some to recharge your body, take care of your own needs (bathroom, eating, etc), and to not think for a moment. Being with children all day is physically and mentally draining.
I'm sure if you thought about it, you take nap time and some to recharge your body, take care of your own needs (bathroom, eating, etc), and to not think for a moment. Being with children all day is physically and mentally draining.
Anonymous
03/14/2013 15:20
Subject: What are the questions you WISH you asked during the interview
You people crack me up. Sure you can ask her to do whatever you tell yourself you'd do if you were home, but you should be prepared to pay damn well for it. To do the entire stay at home mommy routine (cleaning everything, buying everything, organizing everything, cooking everything, and meeting everyone's needs) I would charge quite a bit more than the average rate for a position. I do however find that most parents who have this expectation that nanny fill all roles and do all things because the baby sleeps, tend to also be the parents who want to pay as little as possible. Funny how that works.
New flash! Just because the baby sleeps, doesn't mean your nanny isn't working. She is there to fulfill your child's needs, one of which happens to be napping. She is still responsible for him if he wakes up, needs something while napping, or doesn't nap that day. She can't leave, and is in fact still working, even if she isn't cleaning your house! This is why you pay her even during nap time, and she shouldn't have to complete some ridiculous list of unspoken, arbitrary,not formerly agreed upon, not calculated into her wage, list of things you don't want to do.
New flash! Just because the baby sleeps, doesn't mean your nanny isn't working. She is there to fulfill your child's needs, one of which happens to be napping. She is still responsible for him if he wakes up, needs something while napping, or doesn't nap that day. She can't leave, and is in fact still working, even if she isn't cleaning your house! This is why you pay her even during nap time, and she shouldn't have to complete some ridiculous list of unspoken, arbitrary,not formerly agreed upon, not calculated into her wage, list of things you don't want to do.
Anonymous
03/14/2013 14:55
Subject: Re:What are the questions you WISH you asked during the interview
However, your overall philosophy of what the nanny's role is beyond childcare is key.
You can hire someone to just take care of your child, do the basics, and have no expectation beyond that. Or, as worked for us, you can hire someone with the expectation that their role is to support the running of your household while you are at work.
This doesn't mean they scrub toilets. This doesn't mean that you micromanage. What it does mean is that this is not someone who thinks a four hour nap is "their time." It's time when mutually agreeable, other household goals can be accomplished. Alternately, on days when your child needs more attention or care, they shouldn't be ignored so the nanny can get through a mandatory list of chores.
+!000 This is very important, especially if you think you want someone longer term. Kid's schedules change and its often hard to imagine when you're feeding a newborn every 3 hours that they will settle into a consistent and often lengthy nap schedule. Its hard to go back to work and then come home at 5 or 6 and have to decide between doing the laundry, grocery shopping, meal prep or playing with your kids. Its very frustrating to face this choice every night knowing that your nanny is doing "me" time for three to four hours while she is working.
I think you should be explicit that she gets a one break but find tasks that you would do during this time if you were home for the rest of the downtime.
nannydebsays
03/14/2013 12:01
Subject: What are the questions you WISH you asked during the interview
Another thing to consider is just how proactive you want nanny to be. Do you prefer to have someone who is more "take charge" and will do things like sort and toss toys, or sort and store outgrown clothes, or do you want be the one to either "assign" those chores, or the one to do them?
One very discouraging thing for any nanny is to be proactive and then find her work either undone or unappreciated. A former employer had a very cluttered existence, and would ask for help with sorting/tossing then follow behind me to "rescue" stuff I tossed.
One very discouraging thing for any nanny is to be proactive and then find her work either undone or unappreciated. A former employer had a very cluttered existence, and would ask for help with sorting/tossing then follow behind me to "rescue" stuff I tossed.
Anonymous
03/14/2013 11:01
Subject: What are the questions you WISH you asked during the interview
22:33 Here
I agree. The first level questions should of course be about child care styles, experience, and all the wonderful suggestion.
However, your overall philosophy of what the nanny's role is beyond childcare is key.
You can hire someone to just take care of your child, do the basics, and have no expectation beyond that. Or, as worked for us, you can hire someone with the expectation that their role is to support the running of your household while you are at work.
This doesn't mean they scrub toilets. This doesn't mean that you micromanage. What it does mean is that this is not someone who thinks a four hour nap is "their time." It's time when mutually agreeable, other household goals can be accomplished. Alternately, on days when your child needs more attention or care, they shouldn't be ignored so the nanny can get through a mandatory list of chores.
I agree. The first level questions should of course be about child care styles, experience, and all the wonderful suggestion.
However, your overall philosophy of what the nanny's role is beyond childcare is key.
You can hire someone to just take care of your child, do the basics, and have no expectation beyond that. Or, as worked for us, you can hire someone with the expectation that their role is to support the running of your household while you are at work.
This doesn't mean they scrub toilets. This doesn't mean that you micromanage. What it does mean is that this is not someone who thinks a four hour nap is "their time." It's time when mutually agreeable, other household goals can be accomplished. Alternately, on days when your child needs more attention or care, they shouldn't be ignored so the nanny can get through a mandatory list of chores.
Anonymous
03/14/2013 10:50
Subject: Re:What are the questions you WISH you asked during the interview
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
I think the most important things to discuss are expectations, communication, and parenting styles. I also wish more people (employers and nannies!) would discuss what they liked best/least about previous nanny experiences. This gives a lot of insight to what kind of arrangement people are looking to have.
This (the PP who listed all the various questions broke down some ways to discuss this). Especially if you are looking for a live-in or AP you want to make sure you have the expectations laid out up front. What kind of off time is she going to want and do you want to offer? How do you want her pitching in to clean up after herself? What kind of tasks besides childcare (if any) do you want her to do? What kind of communication problems has she run into in the past? How has she resolved them?