Wow, this is a tough one. I like the APs to feel connected, but, at the same time, I am just appalled when I observe an AP, nanny, or parent so wedded to the phone that they have no clue on what is up with their charges, wandering off, teetering dangerously on a slide, etc. We had four APs who were great and knew how to toggle between their electronics and kids' care. Then we had one who was so absolutely horrible that I became very strict about phone/iPad/etc usage. Current AP is fabulous and very disciplined. She can be on her iPad while kids have playdates in nearby room - always has her pulse on situation.

If the AP is mature and able to handle electronics, I will be more amenable. If they can't, and still can't after a warning, then I will take them into rematch. That one horrible AP made me realize that I will never permit that in our home again.

OP - we have hosted two Au Pairs. With our first, our daughter was an infant and slept a majority of the day, so we allowed our AP to use her computer/text while the baby was napping. It worked our fine, as she was very responsive and good with our child generally. She also had a very active social life (i.e., she made the best of her time in the U.S. and had lots of friends who she spent time with frequently and her life didn't revolve around FB). She was not an addict.

With our second, we established rules that allowed her to Skype/Text/FB/etc. while our daughter napped. She's respected our wishes and followed our rules...for the most part. However, we have caught her on FB and Skype during work hours on a few occasions (addressed the issue immediately), and have had to ask her repeatedly to keep her phone off the dinner table/put it away during meal time, etc. It took months, but she finally got the message that we weren't playing around. Problem with AP #2 is that she really didn't make any friends outside of FB, didn't go out much, and spent a majority of her free time on her phone/computer, and she was not at all independent (wanted to spend an unhealthy amount of time sitting in our living room/at the kitchen island texting/on FB rather than go out and see the city). Later in the year, she starting meeting men on-line and eventually did go out on occasion...but that's another issue. Long story short, if she weren't a fantastic AP otherwise, we would have likely taken the phone (that we pay close to $100 per month for) away.

Bottom line, with next AP - the rules will change. No cell phone/no FB/Skype/Etc. during work hours unless calling me or absolute emergency. I used to worry about being to strict, or being inflexible, but the safety of my child is paramount and I now know that setting the rules up front makes it much easier to navigate the issue going forward. We will make sure that the AP that joins us understands these rules. If he/she doesn't like them, she can match with another family.

Good luck with this one!!!! I hope you're paying her a lot.

Anonymous wrote:You sound jealous that your aupair has a iPhone and is independent by not using yours lol get a life!

Are you serious? What are you? twelve?

You sound jealous that your aupair has a iPhone and is independent by not using yours lol get a life!

Host mom here. I agree no texting/phone calls unless it's with us or to set-up a play date during working hours UNLESS our DS is napping. It's a basic AP guideline with all agencies.

Do I think AP does this more than I would like? Yes. Do I think that she is careful about it? Yes.

Anonymous wrote:when you were younger and a nanny, in those ancient times there wasn't iphones and 24/7 electronic needs like their are now.

"24/7 electronic needs"?

ROTFMAO

Anonymous wrote:op, your responses are pathetic. get off your high horse.

+1

when you were younger and a nanny, in those ancient times there wasn't iphones and 24/7 electronic needs like their are now.

op, your responses are pathetic. get off your high horse.

Anonymous wrote:

I think you're underestimating the need these girls have to feel connected while they're living in a new, challenging environment.

Tough luck, buttercup. Being an AP is a job. When she is working, I want her working, not "connecting". And it is not a "need" all day, it's a "want".

Does she need to connect and make friends? Yes. She can connect all she wants when she is off duty. If there is a need to reach my AP urgently, I've told her to give friend's our land line # to call when she is on duty, but I expect it to be used infrequently and briefly. I feel entirely justified in my rule, having been a nanny both home and abroad when was younger. i never felt entitled to make personal phone calls all day when on the job. I might get the rare call asking if I was free after work, or if i could pick up something from the store on my way home, but mostly I made plans before or after work. And those phone calls took no more than one minute from my day on the rare day I got them.

Well, good luck with hiring your new "property" then. God you people are awful. How do you justify your actions?!