I can understand why its hard to understand my desire to work things out after reviewing the final draft of the contract and the new wording, which basically says I am to stare at the wall should I actually complete the impossible list of task, I've decided I've done all that I could do. I sent the contract back full of strike-outs and comments and made it clear if we couldnt agree on the final wording that the email would serve as my two weeks notice. I feel really badly for the family who joined the share last week. They really like the developmental stuff that I do with the kids and seem to be happy with the arrangement. I am considering composing an email letting them know that I would like to continue working for them but that seems sort of underhanded. What do you guys think. I really appreciate the advice because this whole situation was/is really stressing me out. I'm an island girl at heart and work from the assumption that if I do the right thing everything will just sort of fall into place. Not always the case. Again thanks hope everyone is enjoying their three day weekend.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think they expect the list to be completed they just want me to occupy every working moment performing a task. The father seems to be spearheading this whole busy work list but I expect the wife to back him up. She and I are close and I perform tons of personal tasks that make her plate less full so more so I am upset that those things mean nothing as far as the way I am being treated. I am proactive and want to be of service to the people who employ me but if I wanted to be a housekeeper that is what I would have signed up for. This was to be my last nanny position and I would hate for a ten year career to end on such a sour note. I did request that the "unreasonable" family be sure to keep the new family in the loop about this additional task list so we will see how the final contract plays out.

You're kidding yourself. Finding a new job is daunting, yes - satisfying these people is going to be impossible. Better to start on the challenging-but-possible task (finding a new position) immediately than wasting time at something that will inevitably end in failure (as this job will).

I don't think they expect the list to be completed they just want me to occupy every working moment performing a task. The father seems to be spearheading this whole busy work list but I expect the wife to back him up. She and I are close and I perform tons of personal tasks that make her plate less full so more so I am upset that those things mean nothing as far as the way I am being treated. I am proactive and want to be of service to the people who employ me but if I wanted to be a housekeeper that is what I would have signed up for. This was to be my last nanny position and I would hate for a ten year career to end on such a sour note. I did request that the "unreasonable" family be sure to keep the new family in the loop about this additional task list so we will see how the final contract plays out.

I am not generally someone to say "QUIT!" at every little thing, but this is extreme. The list is not punitive? Right.... You can key the other family into how much housekeeping you are supposed to be doing and hopefully they will speak up. It isn't fair to them and it isn't fair to the children. In an infant share it can take a while to get the babies on the same schedule and even once they are there will sometimes be days where one child just won't sleep great or at the time that they are supposed to. There is no way that all of this work would not take away from the children.

Even if the other family does speak up, you are still left with bitter and resentful parents who are likely to do or request something inappropriate in the future. First, with the unpaid lunch break (which NO ONE does) and now with the hours worth of housekeeping every day. These are obviously not good people to work for and I would strongly recommend getting out now. If you wait to quit then you are stringing along this other family and that isn't fair to them.

Good luck!

Does the other family know about this chore list? A nanny share already means split attention; I would expect the nanny to only do baby-related housekeeping in addition. Otherwise, how will she have time for the babies?

IMO it's time to find a new job. The host family is essentially turning you into a housekeeper. I hope the two families are not splitting costs evenly b/c the host family is clearly using up more of your time.

With two infants and only 8.5 hours each day how on earth are you completing that ridiculously long list of daily chores? If you're unhappy about the list of tasks you need to speak up and renegotiate what you feel is more reasonable. I realize that's easier said than done, but looking at that list tells me that you might be on the fast track for burnout if something doesn't change.

OP, this sounds insane! I know you love the kids, but these people sound horrible. I would NEVER have my nanny be my housekeeper as well.

Finding a new job is daunting. The share contract is still being finalized hoping that the other family will speak up or I can find a better way to advocate for myself without being so emotionally charged about it. I also love my charges but I know if I am required to do all those things my energy will wane when the children are actually awake and I will start dreading coming in every day. Not sure if this is a good time to start looking for work either. I appreciate all the advice and the helpful nature of everyone here!

Find a new job. You shouldn't be doing all of that for one family in a share. If nothing else, you can easily find someone who won't feel like they are doing you a favor by paying you for the whole time you are in their home working, or the need to punish you with a long list of additional tasks.

I am the beginning poster. Thought I would update again. They have decided to stop taking your 30 min lunch break but everything else will remain the same. The father kept mentioning that the additional tasks aren't punative (his wording) but I am 100% sure it is. There reasoning is they dont want to pay for hours where I am not doing a task. Here is the task list.

Daily:

o Sweep and vacuum all areas where children play to include:
o Kitchen Floor
o Kitchen Rug (this would be a good area for babyproofing)
o Dining Room Floor (the children don't play in the dining room)
o Welcome Rug
o Living Room (the children play minimally in the living room this is also where Miyako works throughout the day I would be amendable to dry mopping for dust bunnies once per week)
o Nursery
o Basement Floor (another area to consider for babyproofing before I am in charge of cleaning it daily)
o Basement Rug
o Under Furniture such as coffee tables, couches, kitchen island, bottom of refrigerator, crib, dressers, etc.
o Wash, Dry, and put away all of the children’s dishes to include:
o Spoons
o Containers
o Bottles
o Ice Trays
o Freezer Bags
o Bibs
o Breast Pump parts (Machine parts and storage bottles
o Dishes utilized to cook or create baby food (i.e. food processors, knives, spatulas, cutting boards, and the like)
o Surfaces where baby food is made
o Sanitize and put away all of the children’s toys when they are not in use to include but not limited to anything the children have or may put in their mouths:
o Toys
o Books
o Flash cards
o Instruments
o Baby proof corners of coffee table
o Stuffed animals
o Wipe down, vacuum, and sanitize any and all places where children spend time to include but not limited to:
o High chairs
o High chair tables
o Entertainment Centers (Piano table, activity chairs, block tower)
o Bouncy Chair
o Couches
o Nursing chair
o Make sure Baby supplies are reset
o Diapers in Nursery
o Diapers in basement
o Wipes Warmer
o Make sure Diaper Genie is not full (daily)

Other Tasks:

o Children’s Laundry – Weekly and as needed
o Change of bed linens – Weekly and as needed
o Dusting of all areas where children spend time – weekly (This isn't considered light housekeeping)
o Dining Room(children don't spend time here at all)
o Living Room
o Basement (children spend minimally time here)
o Nursery
o Clean baby’s tub – 2xweekly
o Bath toys
o Clean up all Dust Bunnies anywhere children might find them - weekly (this isn't considered light housekeeping.


In addition to that I make all the baby food. Give one child a bath and do other misc stuff that isn't on the list. When it was just there child and I had downtime I was careful to not take advantage and essentially became the mothers personal assistant. I researched crop shares, made appointments, ran errands, got quoted for work that needed to be done in the house allll proactive without complaint without needing to be led by the hand. Super disappointed that I agree to a nanny share to help them save money and this is the end result.

Anonymous wrote:I know things can turn hostile in these threads pretty quickly but I was wondering if I could politely ask in advance for this thread to stay sugary sweet I don't want to deter anyone from providing their reasoning or have anyone sidetracked by thinking they need to argue a point. Anyway I want to broach these issues with respect and not from a place of entitlement. I've been a nanny for 10+ years and my contracts have been pretty much the same so to me its a "This is just how its done" kinda thing. Obviously that isn't a professional way to address a contract issue so I'm hoping to receive a different "voice".

Do you guarantee your nanny a set number of hours or weeks of pay? Why? Why not?

If you take a day off here or there is your nanny still paid. What is the benefit in doing this?

If your nanny works 8.5 hours do you subtract the .5 to account for a lunch break. The lunch break doesn't allow for nanny to leave the home.

How many federal holidays are PTO.

Thank you for your help

i'm an ER physician. we guarantee a total number of hours per week at minimum (but always stipulate we may ask for more and the nanny may say no as she wishes)
nanny paid if we cancel a planned working day
we do not subtract lunch breaks
no sick days (one of our long-term nannies said she had never heard of that for nannies and thought it was unnecessary)
2 weeks vacation - one week at the same time as us, another 5 days at her will
i only give 3 federal holiday, b/c i generally only get off 3 fed holidays per year. i simply can't pay someone to be off and then afford to hire a second nanny (and keep a second nanny on holiday back-up) for that day.

So weird about the lunch break thing. Mystifies me that they do not acknowledge you are working then. Have you asked them if they stop paying the babysitter once she puts the kids down for the night.
MB here and we guarantee 50 hours, normally use 40 but are in a share and need access to the extra 10 just in case so we pay for them. Give federal holidays off. Of course we pay all hrs she is at the house.

My quarterly review didnt go well. They were pleased with my performance but at a standstill about the unpaid lunch. We are planning to have another discussion tonight. I hate stressful working environments which is why I enjoy the line of work that I'm in. I think another thing that is making this so difficult is I work harder for them than I've done any other family and so far I have no one of the other perks that I had with previous families.

Do you guarantee your nanny a set number of hours or weeks of pay? Why? Why not?

We never explicitly stated that we would but DH and I decided to do this regardless. Our nanny has bills to pay that don't stop just because something came up and we didn't ask her to come to work (ex: hurricane Sandy--we stayed home and told her to do the same and stay safe). Plus we want to do as much as we can to ensure she is happy and feels secure in employment and will not look for another position.

my first job was hourly and it was terrible stressing about whether I would make enough to cover bills because office was unexpectedly closed. I don't want my nanny to worry about that kind of stuff either.

If you take a day off here or there is your nanny still paid. What is the benefit in doing this? Absolutely. She was willing to work and it was our choosing that she not (for vacation or weather related issues etc) We also do not count this against her PTO (I have heard some families saying things like 2 weeks PTO--one week family choosing, one week nanny choice.) Our vacation is our choosing and should not count against nanny. So any random days/time off that DH or I take are in addition to the two weeks PTO that we specified at beginning of employment. Same reasons as above.

If your nanny works 8.5 hours do you subtract the .5 to account for a lunch break. The lunch break doesn't allow for nanny to leave the home.
No. Who does this?!? lunch is not really a break for a nanny. DS was very needy so early on lunch for her still involved holding him in her lap. Now he can nap on own but still--she is there and present and on duty.

How many federal holidays are PTO.
All federal holidays plus the day after Thanksgiving (which is not officially a federal holiday on OPM calendar and thus not a day off for me... but is off for most other companies and just a nice thing to do).

Do you guarantee your nanny a set number of hours or weeks of pay? Why? Why not? yes. because we know we'll need at least x number of hours.

If you take a day off here or there is your nanny still paid. What is the benefit in doing this? building loyalty. we approach paying our nanny as if she had juuuuuust enough money to get her through each week/month.

If your nanny works 8.5 hours do you subtract the .5 to account for a lunch break. The lunch break doesn't allow for nanny to leave the home. we pay assuming all hours once arriving and before leaving are working hours.

How many federal holidays are PTO. I want to say 8? My DH went through the calendar and set that up, and I don't remember.