Anonymous wrote:I can understand why a nanny would want regular letters of recommendation. Lots of MBs turn bitter and nasty the second a nanny puts her notice in. Even if a nanny were on wonderful terms with the family up until she put her notice in, there are many MBs who would still not be a good reference. This is not fair and it has resulted in nannies feeling the need to get regular letters of recommendation.

I can understand having one letter of recommendation on file and asking for a new one every year. You can let the family know that it is for evening and weekend work.

This is interesting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would MB's accept a recent evaluation in place of a current reference if the nanny isn't prepared for them to know she is looking?

I don't know of any professional who doesn't find her next job, before resigning from her current one. Everyone should needs to be prepared for the unexpected.

I'm confused re: how what you're saying applies to this discussion. Yes, in an ideal world we all find new jobs before resigning. However in most fields, and especially in nannying, a current reference is VERY important in getting hired - and since some MBs get very unreasonable and bent out of shape when their nanny makes plans to move on, they might be unwilling to provide a good reference for their nanny who is looking to set up interviews with new families. So... I'm just confused as to what you're saying here.

Anonymous wrote:Would MB's accept a recent evaluation in place of a current reference if the nanny isn't prepared for them to know she is looking?

I don't know of any professional who doesn't find her next job, before resigning from her current one. Everyone should needs to be prepared for the unexpected.

Very well said. Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm afraid we have to disagree. Too many nannies have been royally burnt upon giving notice. It's true. Some of us have learned the hard way. So unfortunate. But at least most of us do learn, and we now take prudent measures to protect ourselves from toddler-temper-tantrum moms.

+1

I have never ended a job on bad terms and have always been able to count on references from former employers, but I still include this in my contract (I get a new written reference every 4 months). I have seen too many nanny friends have their trust in their employers backfire to waffle on this point. This is unlike any other job, as you say, because it is so very personal - as any MB will be able to attest to. You're letting someone into your home, trusting them to care for and love your children, and the unexpected loss of a nanny elicits more of an emotional response than the resignation of your secretary. Some parents can get very out of sorts quite unexpectedly, and nannies are wise to do all they can to keep up-to-date references available should they need them.

No, I'm afraid we have to disagree. Too many nannies have been royally burnt upon giving notice. It's true. Some of us have learned the hard way. So unfortunate. But at least most of us do learn, and we now take prudent measures to protect ourselves from toddler-temper-tantrum moms.

MB here. I would not write a seasonal reference for a nanny. You get one written reference, at the end of employment, just like any other professional. I'll happily do yearly written performance reviews, but no letters of recommendation until the end, when I would also be happy to give a phone reference as well.

Thankfully, our nanny doesn't spend her time thinking I'm going to go nuts on her when she gives notice. I can't imagine hiring someone who would have such a low opinion of me or our family.

I asked her what she thought about this thread and she said the nannies here must already be very unhappy in their jobs. I think she has a point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10:06 here. You don't seem to be following. The concern of the OP is having a reference letter in hand in case the former boss is unwilling to provide aa good phone reference. In my opinion, a paper reference without a good in person reference is not useful. So I wouldn't spend too much effort to maintain one.

Okay, you said the same thing every MB says but what is a nanny supposed to do? She could be freakin nanny poppins, but the parents change their opinion of her when she gives notice and they realize she wasn't eternally devoted to their precious offspring. Its happens SO OFTEN! Its not hard for a bitter former boss to lie when you ask them about your prospective nanny. What to you suggest we do, since reference letters every 6 months apparently don't count, and evaluations don't count unless they can be followed with a positive in-person reference?

You're absoloutely right! -- Definitely get seasonal refrences (or every six months). If your former MB gave you a bad phone refrence then you could show the employers the paper refrences. Smart employees will be able to determine that your former employer was just being a hater.

Here's the thing, 16:15. Do you have a written agreement?

Here is the thing - how buoy go about leaving a position matters especially one as personal as a nanny. A good rec comes from handling that piece well too. If my nanny moved on and it came as a total surprise to me then I would still be honest about her great work but I would also be honest about being blind sided at the end. On the other hand if you are repeatedly working to try to resolve problems with your MB just without success or you are clear you need a raise (perhaps even giving them right of counter off if you are offered more in a new job) then it is not so out of the blue when you quit. Again if our nanny was honest that she needed a lot more money or fewer hrs or something else I just could not provide and gave me plenty of notice then why would I be pissed? On the other hand if she gives little notice and never gives me the clear notice to try to fix her complaints I will not be happy with how she handled leaving.

Nannies are masters at making up nice sounding reasons why they are departing. Most MB's would have a toddler temper tantrum if they knew the truth.

Anonymous wrote:Okay would a positive evaluation form detailing strengths and weaknesses in place of a current reference, but other positive references from past employers suffice? Im in the position right now of interviewing without my current employers' knowledge, and I know they will flip shit when I give notice. I have a very recent evaluation (less than a month old) that was filled out honestly and has notes from our discussion.

Absolutely. Provide that and be as honest as you can, without bad-mouthing your MB, to new potential employers. They must know something is up since you're applying for new jobs anyway - I'm sure what you have will be completely fine. Good luck!!

Okay would a positive evaluation form detailing strengths and weaknesses in place of a current reference, but other positive references from past employers suffice? Im in the position right now of interviewing without my current employers' knowledge, and I know they will flip shit when I give notice. I have a very recent evaluation (less than a month old) that was filled out honestly and has notes from our discussion.

Anonymous wrote:

10:06 here. You don't seem to be following. The concern of the OP is having a reference letter in hand in case the former boss is unwilling to provide aa good phone reference. In my opinion, a paper reference without a good in person reference is not useful. So I wouldn't spend too much effort to maintain one.

I agree. If a candidate handed me a written reference and I could not contact the former employer, I would also think it was fake. If the candidate handed me a written reference and the former employer did not give the employee a good current reference, then I would not hire her either.

You need to realize that as an employer, I don't know you and don't want to wade through she said/she said or try to figure both sides of the story when I have candidates with really good verifiable current references.

We understand, it is just frustrating when you've done your job wonderfully and still can't secure a good reference because your MB got out of sorts when their nanny gave notice. It feels a bit stuck, which is why I try to work two regular jobs at a time - a 30-40hr/wk job and a ~10hr/wk job, so I have two potential sources for a current reference at any time.

10:06 here. You don't seem to be following. The concern of the OP is having a reference letter in hand in case the former boss is unwilling to provide aa good phone reference. In my opinion, a paper reference without a good in person reference is not useful. So I wouldn't spend too much effort to maintain one.

I agree. If a candidate handed me a written reference and I could not contact the former employer, I would also think it was fake. If the candidate handed me a written reference and the former employer did not give the employee a good current reference, then I would not hire her either.

You need to realize that as an employer, I don't know you and don't want to wade through she said/she said or try to figure both sides of the story when I have candidates with really good verifiable current references.